Guard_the_Azkaban

I like this story, it's quite entertaining to a certain extent, but if I had to point out its bad points they would be the following: 1) The romance is too fast, I understand that there may be many romantic interests in the future, but literally profess eternal love on the second day knowing each other is terrible. It would have been better for you to lengthen the travel time between cities or the time they spend outdoors, you know to get to know each other better and so that love is not so forced, you could have used short jumps in time and told the facts in a correct way and concise if it seemed too difficult to you. 2) The way he catches shiny pokemon so easily is baffling, apart from the fact that it would be impossible to find a group of charmanders in the wild (on a very busy route), the fact that he finds so many shiny ones so quickly in the story It's not funny. It's been 4 or 5 days since he was reincarnated and he already has a complete team and two girlfriends for the second gym. 3) The dialogues are too forced and unnatural, they seem like something processed by a computer or a kind of Chinese translation. I mean it's not the worst but it literally kills my excitement watching the dialogue and descriptions. 4) And perhaps the most critical point, limiting movements to only 4 makes no sense in reality.

Hello author, this Fic is honestly an incredible idea, but... the only problem I would like to point out is that in more than 20 chapters not even 1 week has passed, it is very slow and the number of chapters is very small for a so slow pace.

You better not lose any of your girls🙂😤

This is simply unreal, she says she created her magic and her wand, but she never left her house, so she couldn't have obtained materials and been exposed to witches enough to know the identity of the school teachers, she simply doesn't have Sense, it's full of holes and no one halfway intelligent just walks up to it and asks if they can sign up.

Yes they are. The chapters are short and on top of that he repeats explanations of the same thing several times in later chapters whenever the topic in question comes up, that makes him less funny because he doesn't advance almost anything per chapter since he always gets lost in his thoughts and goes back to explaining past things. again and again.

I love it, it's one of the best HP FFs I've ever read. But it has points that can improve, such as how prudish they are with the relationship and the lack of consequences for Harry's enemies, Daphne should never have been attacked, she is from one of the most powerful pureblood families in Great Britain and would have great consequences against their attackers, so they should be safely thrown into Azkaban and anyone in Slytherin house would know it. And the fact that he gets unnecessary enemies is annoying, you should just stick to dealing with Voldemort, Albus and the Weasley's and not bring in more enemies from other students, maybe Malfoy from time to time but not more, otherwise it becomes annoying.

I'm sorry but I can't stand it, it really is an incredible FF and it has a lot of potential, the grammar is good and it has a good plot to follow, but I hate, I HATE, that bad things constantly happen to the mc, he literally can't find any happiness, I think the author should distance all these events against him for longer than just the first year and a half. They literally tortured him with Crusiatus in his first half year, that's too much. And not to mention relationships, it seems that he doesn't have a single true friend, even considering the circumstances and his identity, the way others treat him is too much. That's why I can't continue anymore, I was really captivated by the idea and everything, but it just made me angry to read what was happening and I got tired.

Too much useless data

All those monologues confused me, I can't understand some facts. The mc died in 2022 and was reincarnated in 2010? It is confusing and those monologues seem more poetic than literary, not in keeping with an FF.

If Nunu says this, then the problem must be very serious.