dukio, hello.hello[img=recommend]

but how will we do it?

I was eagerly waiting for someone to do it.

that would be highly appreciated.

thank you for your motivation, reader san.

there is no need to explain so much in starting para

the writing style is detailed and logical. the world background is interesting and hooks the reader's attention. just the paragraphs are a bit lengthy and could be simplified to refine an even more immersive version of the content. overall the story development is good and has a high potential to create a masterpiece. just give it a try, who might know you would be hooked in the first chapter.

hello there, author here. I am not a professional writer but will thrive to be one someday. the story is intricated and enjoyable as it flows, there might be grammatical errors or writing style that could be improved so plz casually suggest whatever you feel like. with your help, the immersion of the story will increase with your experience as a reader.

the author states about the omnipotence of science but the story has its foundation built on fantasy, system, and martial arts. is this what science is about? the writing style is rather good. the prologue and the plot kinda feel controversial and if someone is ok with it then he should definitely give it a try.

why do I get the feeling that the angle has become sassy.

I feel bad for the angle san.

someone's desperate, lol.

it's not hard to find overlord on the internet, why don't you try writing fanfiction? I am a hardcore fan of overlord, and I look forward to reading your original work.

is it a dialogue or an introductory narration?

explain who is talking through their actions. It makes the story flow much smoother.

without the "the caller said" it would have sounded much better and stimulating.

try to make the narrations in the past tense.

he is the only one present in the scene so who else would say?

the box had a birthday cake made for him, not that the box was his cake. use he/ she when there aren't many characters in the scene.

where would he take keys out from? do we need to be told that doors require keys to open? it is already stated above that the box is mysterious, only using box would have sufficed. use of unnecessary 'some' frequently.