Nxgen_Snail_Kota
I like to read most of the time, and anything I write will probably be trash cuz I'm absolute shite at it and I'm still gonna do it cuz its fun.
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What country do you live in where school starts at 3?
Bro is not Thorfin
Property tax, the cost of ingredients, maintenance, employee wages, the business tax, employee benefits (If there are any) and any repairs and renovations means this cafe should have gone under if it only makes 150,000 a year. (Unless it's financed by the MCs family)
Not bad. The Grammar is fine, and so is the basic sentence structure making it readable which I can't say for 75% of the works on here. The world background is already set up so to get lower than a four you would have to actively try and fuck it up. The story development is fairly quick but that's fine as UBW is filled with a lot of bullshit that could be easily skipped. Character Design... could use some work. Dialogue is fast and without substance, instead of reading as two characters having a conversation it reads as two people running lines with each other. Someone will say something, someone else will say something and move on without expressing any emotion, or tone. The question and exclamation marks will only take you so far before it all starts to blend together in a banal mess of conversations that feel more like dialogue options from an Oblivion NPC than two people actually talking to one another. Plus, (And this is a personal opinion) it's really ugly when there are sound effects to demonstrate what characters are doing instead of something like - ("She broke down into sobs, staining the front of my shirt with her tears") Or ("Our conversation was abruptly ended by the ringing of the lunch bell") But otherwise it's a fine fic.
It's not bad. The story itself is exactly what you would expect from DXD wish fulfillment so nothing groundbreaking, but the only major issue is how ugly the wiring is. It's not unreadable by any means, in fact, the grammar is one of the better aspects of the story, but the sentence structure is abhorrent. Run on, after run on, after run on with commas acting in place of periods like that somehow makes it a complete sentence. It doesn't. But aside from that it's fine.
True, I love stealing
If criminals can't take from other criminals all they can do is take from the civilian populace.
It's not bad. The grammar and writing style is digestible, which is saying something on this site, but it reads less like a novel and more like the MC is crafting his own autobiography. The whole, 'My name is' introduction breaks immersion in one of the worst ways possible and comes off kinda cringe. No normal person wakes up one day and decides to start monologing about their entire life story up to that point, they know who they are, and what they like and don't like so there's no reason for them to reiterate it to themselves, it makes the character feel less like a character and more like an outsider looking in, a really bad plot device to explain to the readers who the main character is. I would have rather we got to know who our main character was and their passions, opinions, and pastimes through their actions, either through a brief showing in the first chapter of the main character doing what they enjoy, (if they like reading, show them reading a book for an hour or two) or talking to someone else about their personal opinions on matters in a natural way, (Like talking to their friends about stocks or something over breakfast) anything other than that cringe shit. Still, I enjoy this author's other stuff and aside from my own personal gripes at the beginning, this story isn't bad.
His super power is prep time
At this point I think he is either in his late or Mid 40s
U tellin me yr just gonna sit by a watch someone get raped when you have the power and authority to stop it? Bruh.