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A_Campbell

A_Campbell

Lv11

I'm just your friendly neighborhood vampire. I work full time and write and read in my free time.

2020-12-31 UnidoUnited States
-d

Escrita

9.3h

de leitura

27

Ler livros

Emblemas

10

Momentos

21
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Respondeu a Greenskin4

    Oh, it's definitely those three. XD

    She giggled and slipped her arm into mine, Mat offering Kami his arm as we all headed into breakfast like the big happy family we were becoming. Even if the other three were a tad crazy. Alyce was laughing and having fun, and that was all that mattered to me.
    altalt
    The Forgotten Luna
    Fantasia · A_Campbell
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    another misspelling of Milo

    "Screw that dick head," Leo said as he walked to grab his pack. Mili was already in his own room, and Leo wasn't screaming at the top of his lungs, so there was no way for Milo to hear what he just said.
    altalt
    My Beasting System
    Fantasia · Darz
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    Misspelled Milo's name.

    "Fuck! I'm late because of your sorry arse! If only you could drive I could've been there taking the test already!" Milo yelled slamming the staring wheel with brute force. The impact unleashed a loud bang that caused Leo to push himself into the stinky back seat. Seeing this through the driver's mirror, a satisfied smile plastered itself to Mili's face. It didn't take an oracle to tell that Milo liked being feared. He was doing such actions just to invoke fear from those weaker than him.
    altalt
    My Beasting System
    Fantasia · Darz
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Respondeu a Atlantys

    There is no such thing as too many times! Lol

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Forgotten Luna
    Fantasia · A_Campbell
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Respondeu a Kassi_White

    I usually try to get out 2-3 chapters a week minimum, but sometimes life gets in the way and it doesn't happen that way.

    Ch 31 Chapter Thirty
    altalt
    The Forgotten Luna
    Fantasia · A_Campbell
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    Your writing is well thought out and other than a few minor corrections it's well written and grabs the readers attention quickly. It leaves the reader curious enough to want to continue reading to find out more. Well done.

    Ch 1 A Mysterious Dome Appeared
    altalt
    Dread Tales
    Fantasia · LazyHumor
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    Try 'rinsed' or maybe 'would rinse' otherwise the tense shifts mid sentence.

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Dread Tales
    Fantasia · LazyHumor
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    This might read better if you phrase it as "All terms that can be associated..." and "yet is to foolish..."

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Dread Tales
    Fantasia · LazyHumor
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    I think you missed a word, it should be "I'd lost"

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Soundless Echoes
    Fantasia · Atlantys
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    did you mean lap?

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Soundless Echoes
    Fantasia · Atlantys
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    check the spelling of Lycan

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Soundless Echoes
    Fantasia · Atlantys
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    Repetitive, vonsider revisement.

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Soundless Echoes
    Fantasia · Atlantys
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    The tense of the last sentence here is a little off.

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Soundless Echoes
    Fantasia · Atlantys
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    Instead of "Did I just reborn?" try "Have I been reborn?" or "Am I reborn?"

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    consider "I never feared death, I feared what followed it"

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    consider removing "inside" or changing it to "filled the inside of my heart"

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    the second "god's" should be Gods

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    "god's" should be capitalized.

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Comentou

    I would either capitalize "the" or remove it all together. Authority would flow smoother if it were "authorities"

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Lucifer...
    Fantasia · El_dorado
    detail
  • A_Campbell
    A_Campbell2yr
    Respondeu a Anna_Annaliese

    I'm working on getting a facebook page set up for it, I will link it here for you once I have it set up! Thank you!

    Ch 3 Chapter Two
    altalt
    The Forgotten Luna
    Fantasia · A_Campbell
    detail