Pomu
Hey, I'm Pomu! I like writing fantasy novels for fun. Welcome to my whimsical and steamy world of laughter, pain, and hopefully enjoyable story-telling. ^^ Writing 2 novels at the moment!
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This novel is seriously well-written, like, the world the author made is super cool and interesting. It was a little slow in parts for my taste, but that's just me and I'm only 7 chapters in. There were a couple of sentences and word choices that I would've done differently for some extra oomph. But overall? Great read – definitely something different than the usual stuff you see on Webnovel. Cover's nice too. I'm not sure, but I think they made it themselves? 4.6/5 - Has a lot of potential.🤔
While the writing itself could benefit from some polishing, the story manages to be somewhat entertaining despite its predictable nature. It follows a typical storyline with few surprises, but scattered throughout are funny moments that provided a chuckle or two. The 'system' is quite detailed which is evident from chapter 3, an entire chapter dedicated to the different classes. I'm not a huge fan of so much information being thrown at me, but others might be and will likely enjoy it if they like having a lot of statistics in their face in this genre. As a matter of personal preference, I wouldn't have included so much text in the system messages in CAPS or at least tried to give less info on each of the stats and maybe allowed the character to understand them on their own, letting the reader infer how it all kind of works. Overall, it's a light-hearted read that's a bit predictable and full of information, but it's not a bad way to pass the time if you're in the mood for something breezy and easy-going. Chama! 🔥
you'll see
Typo my bad. Will fix it. 👍 Thanks for letting me know. 💙
Great, well-written first chapter. Gonna read some more!
I certainly hope not... haha...ha...
The story is captivating and well-written, drawing the reader into the world of aspiring trainees. The writing is descriptive, making it easy to imagine the scenes and connect with the characters. The plot unfolds at a good pace, keeping readers interested and wanting to know more. The introduction of Rita, a talented and famous contestant, adds an exciting element, and her interactions with Jayjay are sweet and engaging. The characters feel real and the world they inhabit, with its intense training and luxurious facilities, is well-established. Overall, the story is well-crafted and deserves a rating of 4.6/5.
The plot is filled with captivating action, conflicts, and unexpected twists that held my attention from start to finish. While the characters are intriguing, I wished for more depth in their backgrounds and emotions. The descriptive and action-oriented writing style was effective, although a touch more sentence structure variation would have enhanced the overall reading experience. Nevertheless, it remains an enjoyable story with potential for further growth and exploration, and I'm sure the author has progressed much more past the initial 30 free chapters available.
You're absolutely right. Little oversight from me! Thanks for catching it. Should be corrected now. 🙏
In my view, the writing quality is consistent and effectively captures the story's events, emotions, and details. Adding more descriptive language could enhance certain parts, but overall it's immersive, particularly when exploring Argos and witnessing Leo's battles. The dialogue strikes a decent balance, though it can feel flat at times which the author can improve with time. It would be beneficial to focus more on showing rather than telling which is done a lot here. I also suffer from the same dilemma, so we're stuck in this together! The updates are stable, and while the 75 chapters are short at times, they are impressive. The story progresses consistently, but shorter chapters limit opportunities for deeper development. Leo's character growth is well-presented, and encounters with creatures add richness to the world. Great potential and can't wait to see where it goes with more time and work added to it. 4.4/5
The book introduces an intriguing premise of a virtual reality game where players fight to become the last man standing. The story captures the reader's attention with its unique premise and the introduction of exciting game mechanics. While the writing could benefit from further refinement and character development, the book offers an entertaining read for fans of action-packed virtual reality adventures.
I would give the story a perfect rating of 5 out of 5 based on its potential for the future should the author work on a few of its flaws. However as it stands I can only give it as high as 4.0 starts out of 5 based on the factors below. - Writing Quality - While the writing quality is commendable, some improvements could be made to enhance clarity and organization. Clearer paragraph breaks and formatting would make the text more reader-friendly, and explicit transitions between different points of view (POV) would help avoid confusion. Although the writing demonstrates proficiency, grammar and syntax could be improved by addressing punctuation errors through careful proofreading, also a congruency between tenses needs to be perfected. - Story Development - The character interactions are skillfully written, effectively conveying their personalities and emotions through well-crafted dialogue. The inclusion of the hidden cave and the search for Izuku adds depth and suspense to the plot, which could be further explored for a more engaging experience. It is crucial for the author to clarify character motivations and intentions to provide better context for readers and deepen their understanding of the characters. For instance, delving into Izuku's initial fear and confusion upon encountering Kurama, followed by his growing excitement and determination to become a hero with Kurama's guidance, would add significant depth to the story. - Character Design - I think more detail could have been added on the characters, motivations, so as to give context to readers who are likely not as familiar. You could even go as far as to change how the characters look in your fan-fiction. - World Background - To provide context, incorporating more descriptive language to vividly depict the setting of the world would benefit readers who may be unfamiliar with either story. This would enhance the overall reading experience and create a more immersive environment. Overall, the story exhibits great promise, effectively engaging readers and leaving them eagerly anticipating what unfolds next. The narrative immediately grabs the reader's attention with an unexpected encounter between Izuku and Kurama, introducing a captivating twist to Izuku's journey.