Fragasile

Anyone know the raws for this fic?

Yes

Good to know, thanks for listening to my suggestion.

If the tler actually bothered to translate the names then this would be a God Tier Genshin fic. I’ve caught up the the raws and can attest that this here is one of the best Genshin CN fanfics ever. Too bad this is just a blatant copy paste without any effort, you’re better off reading the raws and using google translate.

What a sorry excuse of a fanfic this is. Unnecessarily long paragraphs and dialogue, punctuation and grammar being all over the place, internet terms being thrown around that ruins immersion, the “comedy” being the most unamusing excuse for horrible writing, horrendous characterization of the characters you used from other works, as well as your lack of knowledge of how strong anyone is, especially the capabilities of a mountain god. This was already such an unreadable mess of a fanfic, but the crossovers made it even worse. I suggest you to first start with something small and having proper knowledge of it than whatever the hell this trasheap Frankenstein of a fanfic is.

One thing to take note of is that too much writing can be a detriment to immersion, not every block of text has to be 2-4 sentences of over-specified lengthy information. Keep things concise and clear to read, extra fluff will just hold back on the readability of your work when the plot is something akin to a progression fantasy. Touhou is my favorite franchise so I’m looking forward to see if you’re any good in giving the characters the breath of life they deserve.

The MC here is based on the original authors work “Illimitable Until Death”. This little side story where he’s an “ordinary” human is probably the best part he’s written about all things considered, so hope all the newcomers enjoy.

While a crossover slice-of-life with an op MC isn’t anything special or wrong, one problem to be aware of is the portrayal of the characters themselves. Mannerism, wat of speaking, actions, decisions, all of this has already been laid out to you by someone else, just try to emulate it as much as possible. Erica is the most blatant example of this, she’s confident to the point of excessive pridt, yet here she’s lacking certain aspects of her character when compared to the manga/novel/anime. Everyone also suffers from dialogue being too amateurish, not leaving much distinction on who’s who at most times. If it weren’t for writing down who was actually speaking, it falls off in immersion. Writing quality needs a bit of work, a lot of telling rather than showing, makes the dialogue less interesting for sure.

I’m not talking about her power lol, I’m talking about her perfect beauty as a goddess. You’re forgetting that he’s reacting pretty realistically for someone that’s never dated and is suddenly faced with a woman so beautiful that you wouldn’t know what to think.

Did you forget that he’s being influence by the beauty of a goddess?