Grim999

it means alot, thanks

yes this is an AU,

Certainly! Here’s a version that takes into account the timeline, with the events happening before Harry is five months old: --- **A Sacrifice for the Future** Severus Snape had long walked a path of darkness, driven by a mixture of anger, regret, and a desire for power that had led him into the service of Lord Voldemort. For years, he had believed that his fate was sealed, that he was bound to the Dark Lord’s cause by the choices he had made. Redemption seemed like a distant, unattainable dream. But then, he met her. She was unlike anyone he had ever known—kind, wise, and courageous. She had seen the good in him, something Severus had long since buried beneath layers of bitterness. Her love had softened his heart, giving him a sense of hope and belonging that he had never felt before. When they married, Severus felt a glimmer of a future he had never dared to imagine—one where he could leave his past behind and build something new. Then came the news that would change everything: she was pregnant. The thought of becoming a father was both terrifying and exhilarating. Severus had never imagined himself in that role, yet the idea of a child—a child that was part of him and the woman he loved—filled him with a fierce sense of purpose. This child represented everything he had ever wanted but believed he could never have: a family, a future free from the shadow of Voldemort. But that future was fragile. The world was in the grip of terror, with Voldemort’s power growing stronger every day. Severus knew that if Voldemort continued his reign, there would be no safe place for his child or his wife. The Dark Lord’s cruelty knew no bounds, and Severus feared what might happen if Voldemort discovered his child’s existence. As the reality of fatherhood loomed, Severus’s priorities shifted. No longer could he remain in the shadows, playing a dangerous game of subterfuge. He had something far more precious to protect—his wife, his unborn child, and the possibility of a future where they could live in peace. The weight of this responsibility pressed heavily on him, forcing him to confront the path he had chosen. It was during this time that Severus learned of Lily Potter’s pregnancy as well. Lily, the woman he had once loved and lost, was expecting a child of her own—Harry Potter. The knowledge that his child and Lily’s child would be born into the same world of fear and oppression became a powerful motivator. Severus realized that in protecting his own family, he could also protect the future of the Potters, and perhaps, in some way, make amends for the past. Determined to secure a better future for both his child and Harry, Severus made the most difficult decision of his life. He would stand against Voldemort, not just as a spy, but as a man willing to sacrifice everything for the greater good. He knew that it might cost him his life, but he was willing to pay that price if it meant his child could grow up in a world free from the darkness that had consumed him for so long. In a final act of courage, Severus confronted Voldemort. He fought with the knowledge that each spell, each moment of defiance, was a step closer to securing a future where his child—and Harry—could live without fear. In the end, Severus gave his life to end the war, striking the final blow that defeated Voldemort. Though he would never see his child grow up, Severus died with the knowledge that he had given them—and the world—a chance at peace. His sacrifice ensured that Harry and his own child could be born into a world free from Voldemort’s tyranny. Severus Snape’s legacy became one of love, redemption, and ultimate sacrifice. He was no longer the man defined by his past mistakes but remembered as the hero who gave everything to protect the future of those he loved.

Firstly, I want to commend you on your creativity and willingness to share your work with the community. Writing fanfiction is a passion for many, and it's always great to see new stories being told in the worlds we all love. However, there are several areas where your story could benefit from some improvement. **1. Spelling and Grammar:** One of the most noticeable issues with your fanfiction is the consistent spelling and grammar errors. These mistakes can be distracting for readers and take away from the overall enjoyment of the story. I recommend using a spell checker or even a grammar tool like Grammarly to help catch these errors. Additionally, having a beta reader—someone who can proofread your work before you post it—can make a significant difference. **2. Storytelling:** While the premise of your story is interesting, the execution needs some work. A good story has a clear structure with a beginning, middle, and end. It also develops its characters and plot in a way that keeps the reader engaged. In your case, the narrative often feels rushed or disjointed. Take your time to build the story, develop the characters, and establish the setting. Think about what drives your characters and how their interactions move the plot forward. **3. Character Development:** Your characters are at the heart of your story, but they need more depth. Readers connect with characters who have clear motivations, flaws, and growth. Spend time exploring your characters' thoughts and feelings, and show how they change throughout the story. This will make your characters more relatable and your story more compelling. **4. Dialogue:** Dialogue is a powerful tool in storytelling, but it needs to be believable and true to the characters. Some of the dialogue in your fanfiction feels out of character or forced. Try reading your dialogue out loud to see if it sounds natural. Also, remember that dialogue should help move the plot forward or reveal something important about the characters. **5. Pacing:** The pacing of your story is also something to consider. Some scenes feel rushed, while others drag on too long. Balancing the pacing can help maintain the reader's interest and keep the story engaging. Consider breaking up long scenes with action or dialogue, and don't be afraid to slow down in moments that require more detail or emotional depth. **Conclusion:** Overall, I see a lot of potential in your story. With some attention to spelling, grammar, and storytelling techniques, it could become a much stronger piece. Remember, writing is a process, and it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Keep writing, keep improving, and don't hesitate to seek out resources or feedback to help you grow as a writer. Thank you for sharing your work, and I look forward to seeing how your writing evolves!

Hello, it would help me a lot if you could write me an opinion about what you think about this fanfiction. Bearing in mind that English is not my first language, please be forgiving of grammatical mistakes. because I write out of passion, I don't have a beta reader to correct them, and I have very little time. If you want to write a review, I would appreciate it if you could concentrate more on the story.[img=recommend]

I'm a fan of these books, lately I've tried as much as possible to get a little inspiration from the way Rick writes. an lil idea you could say.

well Elias is older than Arthur...his birthdate is 31.12.

it's because I'm writing from my phone... sorry if I made reading more difficult...[img=Speechless]

maybe