Grim999

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I think you should write more like this. Changing the character dynamics and how they interact with each other, as you did here, is such a great touch. For example, you could make Yukinoshita more free-spirited and spontaneous at times, like in this chapter. She’s usually portrayed as organized and overly meticulous, but having her grow because of Hachiman’s influence would be amazing. Everyone tends to put her in her sister’s shadow, and sometimes she even does that to herself, but you could show her breaking free from that and becoming her own unique person, unafraid to express her feelings. On the other hand, you could make Hachiman more confident thanks to Yukino’s support. Show them growing together, helping each other become the best versions of themselves. Relationships are about change, and you’re in a perfect position to highlight that! Thank you for this chapter—it was wonderful! [img=Loving it]

I feel like the story would benefit from giving the main character more agency. Right now, they seem too passive, mostly listening and being pushed around by others. While I understand this might be intentional, perhaps to emphasize their shyness, it does make it hard to connect with them during pivotal moments. It’s especially noticeable during important or impactful scenes where they seem unsure or unable to express themselves meaningfully. Allowing the character to take small but decisive actions or at least struggle internally with their choices could make them feel more dynamic and relatable. Overall, it’s a great foundation, but I’d love to see the protagonist grow or assert themselves more as the story progresses...😅

its a good chapter, but I don't know how normal a confession is in the middle of a class with students...?[img=Speechless]

well, you can have all my powerstones sir, this was an amazing chapter(^×^)

Great job on this fanfiction! It’s rare to come across something as original and well-written as your work here. There are times when the pacing feels a bit rushed or the characters come across as a little detached, but overall, the story is captivating and often immersive. I really appreciate the effort you put into crafting this unique story, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing it. Looking forward to seeing where you take it next!

thanks for each comment...it relly helps, more than you think...😅

every time he dies, he loses something of himself, the shadows feed on emotions.

povs will change, different perspectives and all of that, im tryng new things...😅

i dont like to rush xD in chapter 6 he is gone go to nevermore...its a loong backstory i know...but i like for you the reader to first form a relationship, to understamd where he is coming from....but he will go to nevermore, and will interact with the original cast😅

sorry😅🫠