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Mayline

Mayline

Lv4

Thirsty for more. I can illustrate my novels with AI art. I love doing this. Ask me!

2019-09-02 UnidoFrance
-d

Escrita

226.7h

de leitura

102

Ler livros

Emblemas

13

Momentos

754
  • Mayline
    Mayline11mth
    Respondeu a Rownn

    Good day! I'd love to reply to your review but the computer won't let me. If you deleted it, know it is much welcomed in any form, a critic is more important if it's negative. Here's what I planned to reply: Actually I am reading and keeping every review. Yours, as bad as it can look will be fairly given light as it can only allow me to progress if I correct the mistakes you've highlighted. Up to the fifth chapter you've passed through the long intro (world building and sympathise with the mc, learn which side character is important). A violent incident caused Arthur to have ahead trauma, I believe it's not as readable as I thought. I'll work on it. Up do date, the 69th chapter is under writing, the few ten-ish I am bottling up are ongoing changes as I advance through the story. I thank thee for your time and sincerity. I hope to see you later.

    Ch 5 Breakout
    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasia · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    This encounter was over the top and quite the abrupt stop from the fight Also I find him a little slow-brained for a number person

    Ch 5 Chapter 1.4
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Ah nevermind 8 meteors and 9 elements?

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    not dark ? woat!

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    That's suspicious

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Oh boy isn't it relieving

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    We can read his thoughts out loud at any time, but I don't understand the need to have a guard in front of a school

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    The Impossible Fate That Leads To A God Of A New World
    Oriental · LuciferVermillion
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Respondeu a RainbowBeheader

    There is no whatsoever harem in this novel

    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasia · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Respondeu a RainbowBeheader

    Not really, 1AM and I spent time on each other's novel to point out mistakes and points other things out, I was thanking his patience and clarity

    altalt
    Why I (don't) regret looking for the dragon's eyes
    Fantasia · Mayline
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    I believe you need to focus on one tense for your storytelling. Some phrases are grammarily incorrect because of that. also you have a lot of capital letters everywhere, it does not respect the ponctuation. It saddens me because your first chapter is overall poetic and extremely heavy to read, it's a great job

    Este livro foi excluído.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    using blood as ink is very emo like also using blood to draw anything makes it stink really hard

    Este livro foi excluído.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Postado

    this is original, quite a short premise but I hope to find the kind of mood in that old cartoon (Treasure Planet) hope to read more soon, this is some great reading~

    Este livro foi excluído.
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Postado

    There's a lot of effort inside this writing style, even some concealed humour and always a kind word in AN The synopsis just throws the story much farther than the first chapters though! Definitely reading this, great work

    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    This mind game was complicated for this tiny brain of mine. I wonder what could have happened if Nathair was the intruder. He gauged their ages sure but if he came across people extremely different from him then the mind-game could've have ended up much worse (or so I hope)

    Ch 5 I explained. They did not like it.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Ah I got lost, I don't know precisely who's talking

    Este número foi suprimido.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    The title of the chapter, I'm dead

    "Do go ahead and explain, you better have a good ass explanation!" Steve snarled at me as he picked up his spear once again. Pointing it straight at my neck.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Oh boy I had a good laugh

    "I CAN EXPLAIN!"
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou
    A piece of paper was ejected by the sphere and landed in my hand.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Gantz vibes

    At the centre of the room was a black sphere resting on top of the table.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail
  • Mayline
    Mayline1yr
    Comentou

    Hold'up he ready to fight? What kind of company did he take back from his uncle?

    I did own a pistol for self-defence, using a dagger was pretty intuitive and a longsword was an extremely versatile weapon to use for beginners.
    altalt
    Project Salvation: Rise of the Venomous Snake
    Fantasia · ThePotatoKing
    detail