NamelessPersona

You gotta chill on the exclamation points

She literally said it feels good 2 lines ago why would she be dejected?

Infidel is probably not the word you’re looking for

Disney owns all of us

Entoma has a voice? She just hates it and uses lip bugs instead right?

Ruined another fanfic with this weak character sniping

Best of luck to you!

Fanfics are a special genre because it’s the premise that a fan could write something more along the lines of what other fans want. But it doesn’t escape the fundamental rules of writing a story.

Ya kind of backed you into a corner on that one, don’t sweat it. It’s not a bad story. It’s fine for you to hate issei, but as a writer writing from a character perspective you gotta ask yourself these questions about the motivation of the character. Fanfics usually go sideways when too much of the writers own biases appear in a character and the character acts in a way that makes no sense to readers. It’s good to establish a character who has his own values and then follows them accordingly so the audience always knows why they do stuff and who they are.

If everyone reading relates to someone abusing their own family, you might want to pander to a different demographic.