Darksouls8797

See this! I just gifted the story: Dragon

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

See this! I just gifted the story: Magic castle

After reading this, I have the say I really liked how much the details went into writing the scenarios as well as the story plot and world building. But I cant help but feel that the characters are such a waste considering how they are acting in certain situations. I can't get a proper grasp on their personality and in fact that it is very inconsistent. How the MC can turn from being a cheerful/dramatic person who over emphasized on being dead and regret dying before kissing. To being slightly slow but questionably excited/tensed while in the nutrition pod thingie, to acting guiltless immediately for stealing and being cold/dark to an enemy. Isn't she just a normal school girl that was forced transmigrate into another world? it feels like her character is inconsistent. Phiphi too... it spent like a near thousand years inside that place and somehow immediately had her heart pierced immediately despite mc just talking to it and just giving some form of encouragement... I expected it to be more colder and less trusting after all the time it spent alone and in the dark. But who knows if there was a reason for this. Overall conclusion for how I feel. This is a nice story with good planning on the lore world(Have a lot of potential to become way better) but the characters inconsistency is the reason for how much it cant be better. As long as you brush up on being more character focused and understand what type of people are you writing/protruding as, you will be a better story writer. Also it feels weirdly complicated at times and hard to follow, which makes it hard to read at times and I cannot get into the mood of immersion. This should be written more simpler and smoother.