Blaius

Don’t fall in the trap takuma, the easiest way to get rid of someone is to bring them into the fold.

A downward descent into being a missing nin. The realisation that to be a shinobi is to lack moral considerations . That morals in that world are nothing, loyalty, comrades don't mean anything, That to be a konoha nin is to be a hypocrite. The stronger he gets the more alien he will be of his humanity, a shallow husk of what it means to be a human. He's finally acclimatised to the ninja world.

In a world where the mc has the abilities of bloodborne, he ends up relying on “teamwork” which means collecting cannon characters like Pokémon, ends up enemies of the phantom trope for no apparent reason, for some reason ends up in Bisuke graces and after that the story goes from ineteresting to cliche after cliche, how could have some much potential to pull from and run the story into utter trash, I mean you have bloodborne, the hunter who defeats the dream, germaine the beast, why is he so mediocre, his new abilities suck, you could’ve made people go mad from getting into contact with his blood, something to do with delirium, or bloodlust of a mad frenzy, instead you have a generic ass weapon that does little to nothing with damage and the only reason he wins against hisoca is plot. The worst thing is bring people with him to the dark continent, it could’ve been a solo explore thing, he becoming more monstrous after every trip, slowly losing his sanity, you make the dark continent seem tame, it’s no man’s land. That’s the end goal the ultimate place, but it’s like you’ve lowered the difficulty to make the mc survive, Finally, don’t make the character as some morally grey character who wants to fight beasts, when for some reason you shoehorn cannon characters in and make the mc help them like it doesn’t match with his original profile, like why would he help kurapica in the first place, why didn’t he scratch out bisuke contact, why help hisoca kill the phantom troupe, why be a spineless wimp when facing netero, this is germaine from bloodborne, from the city of blood, he fought against gods in yarnam, what is a man to him.

Don’t apologise, you don’t owe me anything, writings hard, and the fact I got through some chapters means you can write, it just the story didn’t align with my preference, continue doing you. Wish you best.

The worst thing about stories like these is the amount of asslicking the protagonist gets, everyone, even the hokage, his enemies, people who would kill him on sight , have good things to say about the protagonist and it feels off putting, once you’ve read one novel like this, they all sound the same, Typically always like this Either Civilian > friends with cannon character > prodigy > student of sanin > has to beat Kakashi or minato > burn village or hokage Or Uchiha > prodigy > hates/loves will of fire > friends with itachi or Shisui > mangekyo > then either burn village or be hokage Common between is the incessant romance of tsunade, the constant bootlicking of th eprotagonist, the protagonist ingratiating himself to a higher up or future prodigy, protagonist being smug even though it’s typically an adults mind beating on children. The very few fanfics that do it well, shy away from cannon characters and world build and expand on their own, this is’nt that. If your looking for slightly higher tier than typical Mtl novels read on, If not look elsewhere. The cliches ring true Translator-San If you do indeed read the reviews, remove the asslicking such as “ so handsome” and “he’s the kindest” and “ he’s so powerful” etc. and the story would be so much better

Nice try writing the story, You had an interesting premise ruined by the some the generic side character person, it would’ve been far more interesting reading about how nobita dealt with losing doraemon and growing up knowing his only friend was gone, you could’ve spun a mature side, made him bitter, dealing with his emotions, instead you have this copy pasted 3 wishes system character, who is used as a plot device to brush over the nobitas emotional struggles, you could’ve gone for depth but you went for shallowness and it really loses the readers investment into the story.

It was good until the ancient one gets involved and turns into generic garbage, the stupid misunderstanding bs litters the novel, keeps saying how handsome the main character is, how good he is, how amazing he is, how he turned into the good side, it’s just become mediocre garbage that loses its spark, It becomes self mas******ion about how awesome he is.

You keep dropping hints, I feel like Gaku's going to end up dead and Takuma will put him down, at this point you've slowly set them up against each other. you can feel the hostility build up, and it seems like Takuma's losing his patience

It’s alright apart from the fact that he keeps thinking with his dick, when it comes to Jean it doesn’t make sense, the whole mutants arc doesn’t make sense.

In my head I had her as late 20s closer to 30s coz of her profession It made the chapter hard to read, it wasn’t so much her age, it was you state multiple times his age was 15 in this chapter, it felt predatory on her behalf,like she has no professionalism at all, I don’t know, this chapter didn’t sit well with me, I was uncomfortable reading it, Just my thoughts