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The Entomancer System - Fate Unbound

Autor: J_Titan
Fantasia
Contínuo · 45.6K Modos de exibição
  • 17 Chs
    Conteúdo
  • Avaliações
  • NO.200+
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Sinopse

2167 In a world where Mors (Vicious human killing creatures) and Demons are causing havoc everywhere, where humans with supernatural abilities called Origin take the role of Heroes and fight with them and Gods, Dragons, and Titans backing them, an ‘insect’ rise from the swamp to fight against them. He is the first Entomancer. [The conditions have been met. System… initiating.] [Welcome to the Entomancer System.] Ladybug of rebirth: Vivian The Entomancer System and Servants to command. ---- An Entomancer allows insects to reside on his body and feed on his magical energy and, in return, uses them to fight his enemies by overwhelming poisonous insects. This class is rare since they usually appear as the antagonist, and to be honest, people find them discussing. MC will be different. Who are Entomancers again? Some examples include: Max Exterminus from Totally Spies Clancy from Ben 10 Shino Aburame from Naruto Entoma Vasilissa Zeta from Overlord Insectiva from Grossology --- English is not my first language, so English Professors are encouraged to read this novel. My creative imagination has existed since ancient times, so if you find some similarities to others’ works, remember that they are using my work, not the other way around. --- Disclaimer: The cover isn’t owned by me. Tags: Action – Romance –Adventure – System – Weak to Strong – Developing MC – Martial Arts – Insects and Bugs – Mors – Demons – Gods – Dragons – Titans – Giants

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Anime_timez24 · Fantasia
4.5
301 Chs

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  • Atualizando a estabilidade
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Prince_nonchalant
Prince_nonchalantLv3

Firstly, this story is most certainly unique. I love the vivid descriptions and the way the author brings the story to us. At the time of writing this, there are only 5 chapters so I'll review based on those. Synopsis: Your synopsis is pretty nice and captivating. It sets the expectations and so far seems to meet them. Not much can be criticized there. Writing Quality: Your word choices are phenomenal. Great descriptions and lovely ways of describing both characters and backgrounds. In terms of grammar, you're doing far better than a lot of English speakers. However, I did see a few incomplete words and badly organized sentences but I'll give this 5 stars since you stated that you're no English speaker. Story Development: This is the reason I didn't give you a full 5. While I love the descriptions and the figure of speeches used, I think you overdid it. There's a thing called too much and there was certainly more than the average reader would like to see in just a few paragraphs. If I'm not mistaken, just the first 4 opening paragraphs had like maybe around a total of 6 or so figures of speeches clumped together. That's way too much and it can confuse readers. Not everyone can read between lines so it's best to limit how many figures of speech you use. I used to do this too and I said something like "Kitchen utensils sang from the kitchen due to the shaking" and a reader was like "How the f*** are kitchen utensils singing?". You have to be mindful not to overdo these things in your writing as it can make it unreadable and it did confuse me at some parts too. Character Design and World Background: Already stated that the designs for both the backgrounds and characters were stunning so full marks there. Just try not to overdo it. Overall: 4.6 because the story has potential but it is most definitely confusing at parts. I think you're making your story wayyy too complex. Calm down a bit and relax. Everyone likes to see stunning descriptions now and then, not every 2 sentences. Fix these minor issues and you'll be good to go. Good luck author!

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