The Calming Chaos

Those who truly believe that they understand everything about a person are nothing but arrogant fools. The ability to understand another comes with the heavy burden of exploring a dark and unknown abyss for the rest of one's eternity.

I live by these words as I've come to an understanding of how much I do not understand. I've come to an understand of my arrogance. And, I have also paid the price for it.

The world is a funny place. Each person is inherently different, yet everyday, to maintain order of society, they choose to not project the dark and ugly side they possess, rather, they show an idealistic side of themselves for many to love, yet they themselves have not the slightest clue of who that ideal self is.

Or maybe wearing such a beautiful mask was for the sake of fulfilling the selfish desires they harbored. Now, this goes back to my point about how humans is unable to understand another completely, no matter how much they tried to. You would never know the true intention of another. It is an unknown and ever-changing concept.

Now, I would like you, the audience, to think of someone you are closest to. It could be your best friend, your lover, spouse, or a family member. You got it? Great, then I would like to ask, how much do you really know about them? No, not them, I meant how much do you know about their true self, who they really are?

Difficult, isn't it? Even if you think you know the answer, you still doubt yourself on whether you truly know them.

Even if they themselves tell you the answer, you're then face with the problem of discerning whether or not they are telling the truth. In some cases, they don't even know what the right answer is as they become so immersed in this facade of their own idealistic self that they begin to lose their own sense of self-awareness, they begin to lose connection with their true self.

But, does that mean that it would be better to live in a world where everybody can read each other's mind? Not at all. I believe order can only be maintain through deceits and lies. Chaos is only inevitable once the humans see and reveal the shadows that they and the humans around them are desperately hiding.

So, you may be saying, that's just how society is, why are you complaining as if you haven't been exposed to such notion for the entirety of your life? And, you may be right. This is probably just another useless and nonsensical rants of mine. Just another one of my attempt to blame society for my own misfortunes.

Some would say that that's what make life interesting. What good is there in being able to know everything? The joy, sorrows, pain, and agony of exploring the unknown abyss is what makes human relationship worth it, after all. It is what makes it genuine and sincere. I completely agree and understand that. But I just can't help it.

It terrifies me sometimes. It terrifies me that no matter how much I push myself, I'll always be left in the dark. It terrifies me to sink deeper in the abyss without knowing its true intention. It terrifies me to be my truest self without even having even the slightest clue of what others thought of me.

Thus, now what has become of me is nothing but a man who have lost the ability to trust another human being.

Truly, ignorance is bliss…