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The Average DC Experience (COMPLETED)

One bad day is all it takes to send an average man to the fringes of madness, or so a wise, demented clown once said. But if one bad day that started with getting fired and ended with a meteor falling over one such average man's head didn't drive him insane, then maybe waking up in a fictional world full of monsters would do the trick? ... Are you sick of the usual power-wank, wish-fulfillment garbage? Are you tired of one-dimensional fanfiction protagonists? Have you had your fill of monotonous monologues and forced dialogues? Do you want to see steady, slow character development and power level growth? If you answered yes to all those questions, then congratulations! This is the story for you! ... I own nothing. All rights belong to their respective owners.

Wicked132 · Anime e quadrinhos
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322 Chs

Darkseid Is #44

Author's note: I'm too tired to think of anything creative for today, so just gimme a break and donate them power stones, alright?

On a side note, the two dudes from the last chapter were Kyle Abbot (the furry) and Mike Gunn (The one with a canon for a hand). Feel free to look them up if you're interested.

....

"You guys finished already?" Selina asked, smiling as she sat behind the hospital manager's desk when she spotted us walking in on her.

"No thanks to you," I replied, my eyes twitching in annoyance at how leisurely she looked, sitting behind the desk with her legs resting on it like she owned the place.

"That's Kitty for ya; always leavin' the fun to others," Harley said as she walked behind Selina, proudly slapping the latter's shoulder. "Such a kind soul," she added, meaning every word of it as I didn't detect a single hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"I'm sure she's a saint..." I remarked, rolling my eyes as I inspected the area, noticing a small briefcase that didn't look like it could fit anything inside resting on top of the desk.

"Is that what we came for?" I asked, gesturing towards the briefcase, and Selina nodded as she opened it, revealing it to be a futuristic-looking laptop with a sleek design.

It didn't have a keyboard but a blue touching pad screen instead, and it had two extra folds going to the sides, one of which (the left) had a keypad, and the other had a monitor.

"It is, but it's locked. It probably has some recognition system installed," Selina added, pointing at the protruding sensor over the laptop's primary monitor with a helpless shrug.

"Then it's a good thing I brought this guy along," I said, smiling under my mask as I approached the laptop, still dragging the gangster I brought along from the yard.

I raised the gangster's face and put it in front of the screen, only to frown as I heard a ding, and a window with the words "access denied" appeared on the monitor.

I reached toward the gangster's eyelid, pried it open, and nodded as the face sensor retracted, and a thin line appeared on the screen, causing me to tilt my head.

"What's this now?" Harley said, scratching her head, and the line began moving as she spoke, to which I immediately realized it was probably a sound recognition function.

'Looks like this isn't your lucky day...' I mused as I turned to the gangster, gesturing for Harley to raise his hand, to which she did despite looking slightly confused.

I took a deep breath as I jabbed my thumb into the gangster's armpit, targeting one particular nerve, which caused him to shiver as he regained conscience and started screaming.

I turned to the voice recognition function and smiled as I watched it disappear, replaced by a square with a fingerprint inside. Shrugging my shoulder, I knocked the gangster out and put his thumb on the screen.

"Seriously?" I sighed as I watched the voice recognition function disappear, replaced by a password tab, and felt the urge to grab the laptop and send it flying out the window.

"Wake 'em up and gimme five minutes. I'll get the password," Harley said, grinning as she suggested violence, and I was about to agree when I remembered something from the comics.

"Hold on, let me try something first," I said as I approached the laptop and started typing. The two words "Darkseid is" appeared on the screen, and I pressed enter only to get an access denied prompt.

"Darkseid is...? What's that mean?" Harley asked, scratching her head as she watched me type the same password while adding 123 at the end and get another access denied prompt.

"It's a chant," I replied with a shrug as I began trying other combinations."These people, the Intergang, they work for Darkseid. You know the guy, tall, dark, once bitch slapped superman across the galaxy?" I added, raising an eyebrow at Harley's careless expression and Selina's shocked one.

"That's news to me... but what does the chant mean?" Selina asked in a curious tone, quickly pushing down her surprise as she uncomfortably shifted in her seat.

"It means he's something, and everyone else, everything else, is nothing," I casually added, and my response got a reaction from even Harley this time as she seemed taken aback.

"In other words, Darkseid is, and we, as in every other sentient being in the universe, are not," I explained, holding back a chuckle as I watched Harley go still in thought, trying to process my words and their meaning.

"Darkseid is a megalomaniac, and his followers are zealots and fanatics, so take it with a grain of salt," I concluded, dismissing the subject before I caused Selina and Harley to suffer an existential crisis.

Darkseid might be a megalomaniac, but he had every right to be one. I even remember reading something about the real Darkseid being a higher existence with an avatar in every version of the DC universe.

The article, which I read out of sheer boredom in my past life, also said that the real Darkseid couldn't even enter the multiverse because his mere presence might cause it to collapse, so his original body resides in a higher reality or something along those lines.

So the chant that Darkseid is might be true, but Selina and Harley didn't need to know that since one crazy guy questioning reality (me) was more than enough for one world.

"And bingo... I'm in..." I remarked, sighing in relief as I finally got the password; Darkseid is, but in all caps and two exclamation marks at the end.

"I'll copy the database into an external, locked device with no access to the Internet or any network and erase everything..." I said as I began doing just that and was pleasantly surprised that the laptop came with several external, detachable hard-drive-ish devices after some dabbling.

I'd already disconnected the laptop from the internet and deactivated the microphone and the camera before I started talking, so there was no worry of Intergang members listening to the conversation.

Thank god whatever alien software this laptop used to run was so simple and easy to figure out since it was probably made or customized for convenience so that humans with no knowledge of alien tech could use it.

"Can't we use that to track down the rest of 'em Intergang douche-nozzles in Gotham or somethin'?" Harley asked, tilting her head as she looked at me in puzzlement.

"Maybe we can, but they'll likely track down the laptop and come to retrieve it first," I replied with a shrug as I finished copying the laptop's database and used my network crash ability to deactivate anything I might have missed, like bugs and whatnot.

"There," I said, sighing as I closed the laptop and stored it directly in my inventory. Selina had already made it clear that she knew about my ability, and Harley had seen it firsthand in the warehouse and here, so there was no need to hide it.

"Will you be able to track down the so-called mastermind with this?" Selina asked, unphased by my display as she didn't even bother to hide the face she still suspected me.

"I'll need some time to install a new operating system and make adjustments first..." I replied, shrugging my shoulders as I crunched the numbers in my head, calculating how long it would take.

"I'll be able to track him down in a week, give or take a couple of days," I concluded as I turned to the unconscious thug and started looting his body. There's no way I'd leave without taking some of that yummy alien tech lying on the ground.

I also planned to kook for the cloaking device and, if Selina hadn't already destroyed or stolen it herself, along with whatever I managed to find in the hospital. Finders keeper and all that.

"Then I guess we'll finally see in a week's time," Selina replied, narrowing her eyes as she turned to leave, making her way towards the window cause whoever invented doors could go fuck himself. Am I right?

"Seya, pal!" Harley said as she walked past me, patting my shoulders on her way, and I merely nodded at her, too busy stuffing my inventory with the gangster's energy rods and flying discs.

...

Unknown location

"All according to plan..." said a man, wearing a red theatrical suit and a golden, full-face yellow mask as he sat in a dark room, staring at the many computer screens before him.

"Soon, freedom will be absolute. The current world order will be abolished, and the people's voice will be heard, listened to, and obeyed!" the man said, raising a clenched fist as he stared at the computer screen showing Black Mask gang and Intergang members killing each other.

"The world will know Anarky and the people shall rejoice!"

...

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