Sweeter than Fiction

3:01 am.

The woman on the bed is already drench in sweat all over. She keeps tossing and turning while her hands clenched on the mattress, hard. "Hmm," she whimpers. "No, don't."

Her pleas are almost a whisper.

"Don't!" A scream!

"Ha!"

Panting with her eyes wide open, she sat up, curling her knees to her chest – tossing back and forth – as she fisted her hair with both hands.

A tear rolls down her left eye as she shut them heavily. With her uneven breathing, her eyes scan the dark surrounding with panic. With her iris dilating, she then realized that she is in fact, in her own room. A sigh of relief escapes out of her mouth.

Reluctantly, she removes the covers and drags her body groggily to the bathroom with total familiarity through the dark. She opened the lights and went straight to the sink. Her body slightly shivered as the water trickled down her hands.

The nightmare she just had flashed once again in her mind, she heavily shut her eyes and violently splashed a handful of cold water on her face, wanting to wash away the nightmare out of her.

"That was a dream. It was just a dream," she told herself in front of the mirror. "A dream."

She touched her drenched face and thought about the girl in her dream. They looked exactly alike, although she looked more mature than that little girl. She smiled bitterly, almost mocking. Of course they looked so alike. The little girl was her after all.

The black wavy hair, small pointy nose, pouty lips and pear-shaped eyes. It's the same as hers. Just…bigger.

It's just that, the little girl looks much more innocent and cheerful than the woman in front of her. The woman in front of her; the way she stares are cold, distant and unfriendly – like the world is against her, at least that is that way she sees it.

Liu Yang could not help but sigh long and hard. That dream again. She never thought she would dream of that day once again. Damn! A nightmare of the past that she wished to have remain as a dream but turns out to be real. A dark memory that she's trying to forget.

It's like a monster inside her head that haunts her every time she closes her eyes; a secret that could not be known to anyone. It was like Pandora's Box that whenever someone happens to discover and open it, it could wreak havoc into the world and destroy everything in its path.

"Why does it have to be that dream again," Liu Yang muttered to herself in front of the mirror.

She stalks out of the bathroom, gets a towel from the closet and gently wipes her wet face. Not long after, she dumps the towel on her bedside and goes out to the balcony of her apartment. The cold winds greeted her and made her quiver. In the dead of night, she looks up to the stars to admire it while another tear escaped out of the corners of her eyes.

"Beautiful," she whispered with a smile.

How she really wished it was all a dream. But it was her reality…

The city really never sleeps, she thought. Inhaling the dawn, her nose got clogged because of the cold. She watched the dancing lights from afar and wiped her tear-stained face, trying to calm her emotions but failed to do so. The stress is killing her just thinking about it, and it is starting to make her head ache. She harshly wiped her face to clear it from tears.

The corner of her eyes started twitching as well as her index finger. All of a sudden, she had the urge to smoke. If only her health would allow her to, she would be smoking like crazy right now. She did try it once, but felt guilty to her parents, therefore, she didn't dare continue.

She leaned against the cold railings and ignored how they bit her skin at first. Glad that a while later, her skin got used to it. "Should I try the e-cigarette then?" she unconsciously uttered while biting her thumb with a silly smile on her lips.

Speaking of her parents, she had not seen them in years. Three years to be exact. She does miss them but, she's afraid to reach out to them. Afraid that if she does, they'll come looking for her and drag her back home taking her away from the life that she loves. Taking away her freedom.

But it is not entirely the main reason. She is afraid that they might not welcome her anymore, that they'll reject her apology. What she did was greatly unforgivable for any parent. She failed as a daughter, and Liu Yang could not think of any reason for them to forgive her.

And to think that they did not know what happened eighteen years ago pains her so much. That heavy baggage she had been carrying for years and can't get rid of. For years, she had been keeping it a secret. This time, Liu Yang could not prevent her emotions to crash totally. Tears started pouring down on her lovely face. How could she pretend like nothing had happened? How could she face people with ease? What if one day her parents knew? What if, everyone condemns her and blame her for what happened?

That day marked the beginning of her heartache and nightmare. It ruined her childhood, no, it ruined her life, and her trust towards the opposite sex, towards anyone to be exact.

She remembered it all too well.

Every detail of it.

If only she could drain a hole on her head and pull that part of memory, she might have done so a long time ago.

Of course, she remembered the one who caused it…

How could she ever forget that monster?!