Soredemo Tsuma o Aishiteru: Alternative

[DISCLAIMER: This is an ANTI-NTR work. Meaning, focus is on love (Although leaning for a yander-ish kind of love) and not despair. I hate NTR, and thought this would be a good practice for my main novel. To write an alternate ending DIRECTLY to a hentai I hated. I forced myself to watch this vile, VILE anime. Anyway, enjoy.]

Nanami sat on a bench in the park, basking in the sunshine. The sky stretched out bluer than ever, and the sun beamed down with unwavering brightness. Yet, despite the idyllic scene, time had not been kind to her.

Her husband, Shinagawa, had left her two or three years ago. In a desperate attempt to cling to her youth, she had fought against the inevitable march of time. But Shinagawa's words had been brutally honest: "You're not as I remembered." And yet, Nanami knew deep down that nothing about her had truly changed except her appearance, which had naturally aged over the years. The harsh truth settled in—Shinagawa-san was a superficial man.

Their son had once been her pride and joy. But as the years slipped by and he entered college, even he stopped visiting. He was becoming more like his father with each passing day.

After Shinagawa's departure, Nanami considered returning to Hino, her pervious fling. However, fate played a cruel joke—Hino turned out to be no different from Shinagawa. He, too, rejected her, preferring a younger woman. Reflecting on their past, she chuckled bitterly. He claimed to have loved her since their college days, but it was clear that his love was as shallow as Shinagawa's. 'Love from first sight, hah,' She berated herself for not recognizing the pattern sooner.

And then there was her sister, Chihiro. They were true sisters, cut from the same cloth. Despite being married for years, Chihiro sought excitement outside her marriage, entangled with a handsome man every once in a while. Nanami couldn't help but think, 'At least she'll have some fun years before her husband divorces her due to the passage of time.' She hoped he wouldn't break her heart too callously.

Now, at 54 years old, Nanami found herself alone in the park. The latest news whispered that Shinagawa had found a partner nearly 20 years younger than him. She couldn't help but think, 'Good for him', even though this fact irked her. Meanwhile, her own son visited her less frequently, leaving her with a silent ache. Yet, out of goodwill, she kept her feelings unspoken.

Life had dealt Nanami a complex hand, and the park bench bore witness to her quiet struggles.

Since when had she last sat on a bench, doing nothing? The question echoed in her mind, reverberating through the years. It was a peculiar sensation—boredom. Once, her life with Shinagawa, her husband, had been a whirlwind of adventure. Every day held a new spectacle: journeys, hikes, luxurious meals, aimless drives, and, of course, passionate intimacy.

But now, as she entered her golden years, even the allure of sex had waned. The vibrancy that once colored her existence had faded, leaving behind a monochrome landscape. There had always been something to fill her thoughts with joy, but lately, boredom clung to her like a persistent shadow. For the past two or three years, it had settled in, a companion she hadn't invited.

Perhaps this was the way of the world—for women like her, or perhaps for women in general. Once they'd served their purpose, they were left to navigate the quiet solitude of aging. Women, she mused, were exquisite creatures, their beauty ephemeral. They should seize life while their allure still sparkled, like dewdrops on morning petals. Yet, despite this knowledge, she despised the gnawing boredom that now consumed her days.

Oddly enough, she remembered a time when boredom felt different—when it was a welcome respite. When was it? When had she last done nothing and still felt content? The answer emerged unbidden: Shuuichi, her first husband.

With a sigh, she blurted out, "I wonder how Shuuichi is doing." He had never attended her wedding to Shinagawa, and she understood why. Who would willingly witness their ex-wife's union? Shuuichi had faded into the background, never visiting, never exchanging pleasantries during chance encounters.

For a fleeting moment, she pondered why he had never reached out to her. The memories rushed back—the note, the divorce papers, her ring, and that damning image of him with another woman. Even she wouldn't reach out to herself.

'Still… I hope he's doing well', she thought, her inner voice a whisper. As the years flowed by, she wondered: What would Shuuichi think if he knew she had cheated from the very beginning? Before Shinagawa and even before Hino.

She let that thought linger, allowing it to float in the quiet spaces of her mind. "Well," she mused aloud, "Shuu-kun was no stranger to superficiality. Perhaps he's found someone who fits his fancy, like Shinagawa-san." Her smile remained calm, masking the deeper currents of emotion.

Yet…

As her eyes fluttered open once more, her heart plummeted. There, in the park, Shuuichi strolled hand in hand with another woman. But this woman—her face etched with wrinkles, skin weathered by time, and body bearing the weight of years—seemed to carry more scars than even Nanami herself.

And yet…

Why did Shuuichi wear that vibrant smile? His joy radiated, inexplicably, as if he'd discovered a hidden treasure.

"S-shuuichi…?" Her voice trembled, barely audible. She watched them, locked in a private conversation as they walked.

'Men are supposed to be superficial, she reflected bitterly. It's the woman's role to fill the void. But what did Shuuichi see in that woman? She had nothing left to offer, no way to mend the emptiness in his heart.'

Her gaze dropped, laden with shame.

'It had been so long that I'd forgotten… Shuuichi… Isn't Shinagawa-san… Nay, Shuuichi isn't like any other man. I've had my fair share of embarrassing, disgusting moments when I was with him… But… He never stopped smiling at me… Even when I was blackmailed… Reflecting on it now, there was only one time I ever saw Shuuichi looking sad and guilty… It was that night I received the image from Shinagawa-san.'

She clutched her fingers in her dress as she sat.

'He was genuinely feeling guilty about it… Huh? I suppose… He was new to it. Cheating. Did my openness about enjoying myself with Shinagawa-san hurt him and drive him to do it? If Shuuichi had spoken about another woman like that before me back then, I'd have been hurt too… To think that cheating once hurt him so much that he couldn't function… And then there's me in comparison… I… I'm… And to think I divorced him the way I did… I wonder… I wonder what he felt when he saw the ring and papers… I bet… I bet he was truly sad and depressed…'

She clutched her skin tightly. 'I really am... A bad woman, huh...?'

"N-nanami?! It's you, isn't it?" An enthusiastic voice cut through the air, coming from above her.

She raised her head, "S-… Shuuichi…?" she called softly, the sun rays hiding behind his hat-covered head.

Struggling to keep her eyes open, she recognized him. "It is you! How have you been!?" he exclaimed, a big smile on his face.

Nanami couldn't see much of his appearance or his face, but she knew how vibrant his smile must be. She felt it.

"Hello… Shuuichi-san. Are you here with your wife?" she asked quietly.

"Ahh, haha! Yeah! I told her I wanted to catch up, so I went to see you. May I sit?" he said, signaling with his hand that he wanted to sit next to her.

"Yes, please."

As he settled beside her, keeping a safe distance, Nanami observed him. "Man, it sure has been a while! How have you been? Why are you by yourself?" he inquired innocently.

"Oh…"

'Shinagawa-san divorced me, and my son wouldn't visit,' she thought of saying, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I… Uh… I thought I'd relax out here for just a bit. Aside from work, life's been great, I guess… Haha." Nanami ended up blurting, scratching her head while forcing a smile.

"Huh? Why're you forcing a smile, Nanami-san? You sure you're okay?" he tilted his head at her, confused.

"F-forcing a smile…? Why would you say that, Shuuichi-san?"

'Don't you hate me?' she wondered.

"Well… We were married at some point. You would usually stretch your left lip more whenever you do that. Are you sure everything's fine?"

'I should be asking you that… Why are you so nice to a woman like me?' She thought.

"Well… My work has been really tough, so I didn't have enough time to be at home… I guess… Haha… That aside, I'm surprised you'd remember unimportant stuff like that, how corny," She replied with a smile, this time, however - genuine.

"Hehe, you think so? Well, I guess I'm corny, then," He agreed, laughing loudly as well.

She sighed with a relaxed smile, "I could sure use some corny in my life right now, though. It's nice seeing you, Shuuichi-san," She said, her voice trailing off.

"Hm? Can you repeat that?" Shuuichi replied.

'I want to see you again…' She thought.

She shook her head, "I just said it was nice seeing you."

"I see. How's Shinagawa-san these days? Is he busy, being unable to accompany you?" Shuuichi inquired.

'…I want to see my dear husband who loved me for who I was… Despite who I was…'

"Oh… H-him… He… He's…" She mumbled lightly.

'He left me. Once he saw some wrinkles, he wanted to run as far as he could. But he stayed for a while, as if to not hurt my feelings…' She thought.

"He's… Doing great! He's… He's been really kind. I love him." She replied out loud.

'He left me. So, leave that woman too… We could be together again… Surely, I'm at least prettier than her, right?' Her thoughts began rushing through her mind ceaselessly.

"I see! That's good to hear, Nanami. Say, you have… A son, right? How's he doing these days?"

'He doesn't visit me. He prefers visiting my ex-husband and his new wife… I'm… I'm all alone…'

"He's very successful, you see! He's in college and he visits us a lot. He likes to bring gifts, and I heard he recently proposed to his girlfriend," Nanami said solemnly.

"Oooh! Amazing news! Invite us to his wedding, whenever that may be," Shuuichi replied cheerfully.

"S-say… Shuuichi-san. Would… Would you like to catch up? Coffee's on me? Later today? Shinagawa-san's not home, so you wouldn't be intruding."

'Maybe… We could be friends? Yeah… That would be nice, wouldn't it? At least that…'

Shuuichi's smile waned.

"Oh… Visit your house while your husband is gone…? I don't know… If we were married, I wouldn't want you to meet someone else in our house… Especially a man that's outside of the family, even if it's just a friendly catch-up…"

She could feel her heart collapse into itself as she heard his words, recalling her past endeavors in their very own abode. She clenched her palm on her chest.

'I'm… I'm so… So sorry… Shuuichi…'

"I guess… It just sounds wrong? Besides, I—"

"Then, a coffee shop?" Nanami blurted, cutting him off. "We could meet up after work hours or on a holiday, and—"

But then, Shuuichi held his hand against her face. "Wait a minute, Nanami. I can't."

"Oh… W-why?"

"Tomorrow is our anniversary, and my wife and I are planning to go abroad… Sorry. Maybe some other time? We could also have a double date with you and Shinagawa-san," he said with an awkward smile.

"O-oh… Haha… Y-yeah…! That sounds great… It really is," she replied.

'Shuuichi wouldn't want to see another woman without his own wife present, huh? I… I'm really… Really sorry, Shuuichi. At least… You seem happy now. I'm…'

"I'm happy for you, Shuuichi. You found a good woman… And she found herself a good man."

Shuuichi then looked down, a solemn smile on his face.

"I… Nanami. This is a good opportunity."

"Huh?" she wondered.

"Nanami… I… Never properly apologized to you for… You know… For cheating on you with that escort woman."

'Stop…' She thought as she bit on her lip, nearly biting into it while his gaze was averted.

"You've been nothing but a good woman to me, and I suppose I felt small next to Shinagawa-san, and wanted to know that at the very least, I'm doing one thing that's right with you."

'Everyone else was small when compared to you…!! I'm the one who should apologize…! You did… Nothing wrong…!'

Tears welled up in her throat, climbing to her eyes, yet she repeatedly and discreetly swallowed them.

"So I went to that escort… I know it was foolish and stupid, and I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry for hurting you so much that you left without a word."

'I'm the one who should be sorry…!!'

"I see. It's alright, Shuuichi-san. I forgive you," she said, forcing a smile yet hiding that habit of hers that Shuuichi mentioned.

"Haha, I see… Thank you. It's not something easy to forgive. But I'm glad we're past that," he sighed with relief.

After a few seconds of silence, Shuuichi rose from the bench and walked toward his loving wife.

'I wonder if that's what he felt when I married Shinagawa-san… It feels… Really bad.'

"See you later, Nanami! Let's go on that double-date sometime, alright?!" he called with a wave as he walked back to the arms of his wife.

"Goodbye!" she said with a wave.

'Yes… Let's meet again.'

She thought to herself as she saw Shuuichi smile at his wife, despite her clear superficial flaws.

"Don't worry, Shuuichi."

"Don't worry about a thing," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I won't cheat… I won't even look at someone else… Even if you're away… Even if you're happily married to another woman… So… If you're ever unhappy… If you ever feel lonely and sad… I'll let you in. I'll welcome you… I'll cherish you like I should have done."

"Goodbye!" she said with a wave.

'I'll wait.'

[DING! REGRESSION UNLOCKED! YOUR UNSIGHTLY PAST BECKONS MENDING! YOUR YOUTHFUL HEART, YET MATURED MIND QUALIFIES YOU FOR REGRESSION!]

'H-huh!? What is this… Is this what those kids call… VR?' she thought as she tried pressing it, her hand clipping right through the hologram-like interface.

[WOULD YOU LIKE TO REGRESS BACK TO YOUR PRIME YEARS, AND ATTEMPT TO SAVE YOUR FIRST LOVE FROM RUIN?]

[YES] [NO]

Without thinking too much, and a heart stricken with guilt and regret, she said.

"Yes."