10 The wedding preparations Part 2

Mike and I used to take long walks late in the evening in the days leading to our wedding just enjoying the scene and talking about what we wanted out of life. He once asked me during one of such walks what I would have wanted to be if I could have and I told him that I would have loved to be a singer but my daddy wouldn't let me, My dad was of the opinion that singers had no future,that it was a career that did not pay just like been a footballer. How wrong my daddy was. I am sure he did not really mean what he said because he was a diehard football fan and when I became much older,I asked him what he had really meant back then and he told me that he knew that singers and footballers make much money but not in Africa and certainly not in our country Nigeria and he did not want to see me join the bandwagon of those who were constantly chasing after dreams they couldn't fulfil. I remember pointing out to him that I could have made it overseas and made a name for myself as a singer and he had looked at me with great pity and replied that that was just the struggle he did not want for me. Well,I did become a nurse as he wanted and found out that I actually love the profession. Do I still have dreams of becoming a singer?, not really,but I still love music very much. My love for music was born out of my great admiration for the late Michael Jackson music. My friends and I back then had our music books which had most of his songs. I used to secretly practice his dance steps and I loved his music video 'thriller', as a child it enthralled me.

Now it was my turn to find out what he too could have been if he had had the chance. Mike told me he really wanted to be a soldier just like his dad but his poor eyesight closed that chapter for him. As a growing up child,he had spent most of his childhood in the barracks and had grown to love everything about the Army. So many unfulfilled desires,but somehow we both turned out all right. We both decided that we would not interfere in anything our kids wanted to be in life but we would offer them all our loving support and guidance..

Did we ever get around to the subject of been faithful with our marital vows, I don't think so. Subconsciously, I on my own part hoped that we were so much in love with each other that we would never betray each other, but it has not been so but that's for another chapter. Why them am I bringing up all these points that seem not to have any bearing with our wedding preparations, did we not cover all these grounds during courtship?. Yes we did,but strangely,I found myself thinking about everything all over again.Was I getting the jitters,maybe,but I never doubted for once that I was to get married to Mike He treated me like a lady and became first a friend before we became lovers. With him,I could be myself and be happy. He was so knowledgeable about worldly matters that I used to call him 'my carnal man' and he would reply 'my naive bride'. I never knew that you could be friends with your husband. This was something that has lasted all this while and what I fell back to when our marriage almost crumbled under the weight of infidelity..

Part of the wedding preparations also involved going to visit my would be in-laws regularly so they could get to know me and I them. I did not really want to but I had to. In my desperation to belong,I assumed another identity that was foreign to my nature and hurtful to my mum. Because my mum in law had such a strong personality and my mum was the quiet one,I found myself caught in between them and beginning to have a judgemental attitude towards my mum. I had a fond name I called my mum but one day to the hearing of my mom in law,I I did not end our telephone conversation with me calling her that name,but I instead called her the fond name my mom in law was been called in her own home. This I did to further secure my mom in laws approval. but I thank God I got back to my senses early enough and returned to been the loving daughter to my mom I always with. For her part,my mom said that she understood all i was going through and was always praying for me. I love you mom, you are not perfect but you are still the best mom in the world.

Truly, there is no place like home.