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Rose's Reincarnation

Autor: KareLocks
Fantasia
Contínuo · 290.4K Modos de exibição
  • 73 Chs
    Conteúdo
  • Avaliações
  • NO.200+
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Sinopse

Rose was killed in a car accident saving a young girl. Join her adventure in this new adventure! ~Updates everyday ~If there's a large pool for an extra I may do it, however it's only if I already have multiple I stock! ~ When you see *** there has been a time skip ~Enjoy~

Chapter 1Chapter One

Ok, yeah I'm dead. I had been killed by a speeding car that had neglected the red light and had died shielding a young child from their demise. When we had landed on the hard asphalt she had looked up at me, teary eyed and I, smiled down at her, despite the agony at most of my bones being broken. I was going to die there, I knew that. I was rasping for air But felt no relief from it. I was going to die, so I smiled for the child and spoke my last words to the scared girl.

"It's alright, it's ok. I know it's not your fault. Shhhh, it's alright." The child clung to me and cried even more, she must've been at least ten, well aware of the situation. Then darkness had in gulfed me and I let myself die.

***

When I next opened my eyes I was in complete darkness. I knew my lungs had been punctured to a degree that was un salvageable so I knew they hadn't saved me. I was somewhere else, the afterlife maybe?

***

Ok, I'm done! I can move a little let me out!

***

I hate the dark, let me out!

***

Ok, I think I have regained myself, so what's going on with this? I can move somewhat now, and I have to have been here awhile. This can't be death, so what happened?

***

The world is shaking. Ok, so wha- Suddenly ai started to slide down and before I knew it I was leaving the place. Except, when I left, it HURT! As soon as I could I screamed.

"Waaaaaaa!" Wait. Wait that isn't- THATS A BABIES VOICE! NO WAIT WHAT? I was lifted up, into a blinding light and I heard people talking.

"Congratulations on a healthy baby girl!" A older women's voice sang out. Wait. Am I? NOOOOO!?

"A baby girl, oh how I wish Matthew we're still here to meet her, oh." I heard a melodic voice say, and then I felt myself being passed to someone.

"Oh she looks so much like him! I'll name her Rose after the flowers he always gave me! Do you hear that my little Rose? Oh she's smiling!" That smile, was totally a twitch of the face. Why is this happening to me?

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Avan · Fantasia
4.5
2543 Chs
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Volume 1

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evorp99
evorp99Lv5

For starter, the story is the same reicarnator novel with the protagonist born with hyper-intelligence, super comprehension and all magical capabilities. However we are not center on continuous fights to become stronger, protect the loved one or revenge, it is a slice-of-life novel in a protected environment with loved ones and the protagonist behaves for the most part in a childish way. This creates a light reading, but at the same time there isn't the problem of repetition of the idea from others that is representative of the genre. Regarding the writing quality, there are some problematics. First of all in the last few chapters, the introspective thoughts of the protagonists are in new paragraphs separated from the rest of the chapter with the asterisks. This creates a problem with the continuity of the reading, usually the separation of the paragraphs with asterisks is done only when we have a complete separation in the narration with a jump in different a location or time. Moreover, always regarding these 'inner-thoughts paragraphs', it is understandable that you want to write what should be in reality talking to herself, so to create a better effect I think a modification in the punctuation should be needed, the problem is that also I don't know how to do that. As you are writing I understand what you mean only after a re-read of the paragraph sometimes. I don't mean to eliminate these parts, which are important for the story, but a better writing can increase the readability of the story. Other than this points I don't remember any other problematics with the english in the novel. On the point of the story development and world background, there exist some deficiencies, which, if they are resolved, could improve the novel. First it is the lack in world-building. I don't want an entire chapter of only world-building but during the chapter in which she read in the library, sometimes it could be inserted inner-thought regarding the continents, countries and history. This can be written using different chapter, especially from the 9-th where she starts to teach to the prince. About the story development, the problem is the characters usage. In particular the princes (they are two or three? I remember two but in the yesterday chapter they were three), they can be a great source of story. We have children of different social strata that live and grow together, so they interactions and plays with the other members of the caste can cover chapters on chapters, this is a component of slice-of-life which is essential to a story like this and its absence creates a vacuum in the narration. In fact you are limiting the narration only to the interaction of the king and the protagonist, all the other characters, like the mother, the queen and the princes, appear for few phases and are relegated to the background. In the end I like this novel and I will wait every time for the new chapter. I hope my comments haven't destroyed you, I only hope they can be a source of ideas to improve the new chapters (and you shouldn't listen literally to everything that I say, because everyone has different ideas and mentality). Thanks to these fullfilling chapters.

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