Priest Marvin

"Hang him!"

"Hang the damned pirate!!!"

Clang clang clang!

The solid mallet struck the base heavily, the sound echoing throughout the entire courtroom.

"Silence!"

After the room had completely quieted down, the presiding judge, clad in a red robe and wearing curly hair, set down the mallet and picked up the judgement scroll from the desk, loudly proclaiming:

"Since Marvin Enders, the vice commander of the Saint Matier Fleet, was unable to produce a letter of marque issued by the Windsor Royal Family, the crime of piracy stands, henceforth, this court declares, in accordance with Article 138 of the Boupon Kingdom's Maritime Law..."

"Sentence the remaining 138 survivors of the Saint Matier Fleet, including Marvin Enders, to hanging, to be carried out immediately!"

.....................

In his sleep, Marvin shivered as he felt someone jostling him.

The warm afternoon sunlight made it difficult for him to open his eyes. Shielding the light with his hand, he saw a middle-aged man standing before him, wearing a grey wool coat, slender in build, with a heavy moustache and bulbous, snub-nosed.

"Father, are you having nightmares again?"

The middle-aged man pulled out a filthy handkerchief from his pocket, generously indicating that Marvin could use it to wipe the cold sweat from his forehead.

"Thank you, I'm fine."

Marvin didn't accept the dubious handkerchief, which looked stained with either butter or coal ash. He always kept a healthy distance from such dubiously clean items.

The man appearing before him was named Jacob Valentine, thirty-four years old, a winemaker living at Fifty-Five South Street in New Ross City. He was unmarried, living alone except for a housemaid.

"Mr. Jacob, what brings you to the church?"

"I have doubts and seek the answers from the Goddess." Mr. Jacob took off his hat, held it to his chest, and respectfully nodded to the dignified and tall statue of the Goddess standing at the north side of the church, rather devoutly.

Marvin readily agreed to his request. As a priest, his duties weren't only to conduct funerals, weddings, baptize newborns, prayer, exorcisms, etc., but also to answer doubts.

Just as he was heading to the corner confession room, the two cats — an orange and a black one — lying on the windowsill basking in the sun, suddenly moved. The smaller black cat with white paws jumped down from the windowsill, stretched its front paws forwards as far as it could, yawned, and paced towards Marvin with a standard cat gait. As for the other cat, with a backside wider than its shoulders, the orange cat...

Just lifted its eyelids slightly and then shifted its backside, rightfully taking over the spot on the windowsill the black cat had just left.

Inside the narrow, crowded confessional room, the black cat jumped onto its master's lap, then rolled over to expose its soft belly, and even whimpered softly, showing that this was clearly not its first or second time doing so.

While petting its fur, Marvin asked, "Mr. Jacob, what doubts do you have?"

"I... have fallen in love with Miss Maggie next door," Jacob Valentine sighed, saying somberly, "but I'm not sure if it's the right thing."

Miss Maggie?

Oh...

Marvin remembered; at Fifty-Four South Street, next to Mr. Jacob's place, lived a home tailor named Maggie Criss. She was twenty-nine years old, her husband, a ship captain for a fishing company, had passed away last year from an illness. Fortunately, he had invested in stocks that allowed her to receive fifty pounds in interest annually, sparing the widow, who was raising a seven-year-old daughter, the worry of making ends meet. Nevertheless, Mrs. Maggie and her daughter were still not wealthy.

If Mr. Jacob were willing to marry Mrs. Maggie... Wait a minute!

Miss?

Marvin suddenly paused, realizing that conventionally one would refer to a widow as Mrs., and not Miss, and Mrs. Maggie certainly wasn't that young...

Could it be that Mr. Jacob wasn't talking about Mrs. Maggie?

"...Love is an aspiration and is beautiful," Marvin thought for a moment before saying, "It's not wrong in itself, but it also depends on the circumstances. Forgive my intrusion, but the Maggie you've fallen for, is she Mrs. Maggie Criss?"

"What? Maggie Criss?!"

Sitting next door, just behind a lattice window from Marvin, Mr. Jacob's eyes widened as he exclaimed in disbelief, "Don't joke around! Who would fall for that sharp-tongued, acerbic woman! She just argued with me over a penny a few days ago!"

"Then the one you've fallen for... surely, it can't be her daughter?"

Suddenly, silence fell next door, and after a long pause, a deeply aggrieved voice came through: "Father, as despicable as I may be, I wouldn't fall for a seven-year-old girl."

Marvin became even more puzzled: "There are only two females named Maggie living next door to you, if not them, then just which Miss Maggie have you fallen for?"

"Father, you've seen her," Mr. Jacob revealed a smile, seemingly filled with unparalleled happiness at just the thought of her, "She has soft, shiny, golden hair, eyes that are watery and lustrous, black and shiny, and every time she sees me, she gets excited and rushes over..."

"..."

The motion of petting the black cat ceased, Marvin licked his dry lips, a handcoming up to his forehead as he finally realized who Mr. Jacob's Miss Maggie was.

Mrs. Maggie's Yorkshire Terrier.

This surely was an unforeseen path.

Marvin had considered himself someone who had seen a thing or two, but today...

He truly had his eyes opened.

"Father, why aren't you speaking?" Mr. Jacob asked.

In my mind, I murmured, how should I correct your perilous thoughts...

But...

That's not the crux of the issue.

The key is...

"I recall Mrs. Maggie's Yorkshire Terrier is actually male."

"Male?"

Mr. Jacob froze, muttering, "How could this be... How is this possible... Male? Are you certain, Father?"

"Certain."

As Marvin stroked the black cat on his lap, he said, "I have raised two cats, they both have their balls, so I have some understanding when it comes to the gender of pets; at least I've seen... er, Miss Maggie's balls."

The Confessional Room suddenly fell silent, so much so that the entire Church was in dead silence, even the sunlight seemed less warm.

The problem should be resolved, shouldn't it?

Peering through the small grille holes, Marvin saw Mr. Jacob's tightly pursed lips and clenched fists. Instead of feeling guilty, Marvin felt somewhat relieved.

Thank heavens Mrs. Maggie had a male Yorkshire Terrier, otherwise, this problem wouldn't have been so easy to solve today.

But...

The pioneer of love sitting in the next compartment didn't seem to think the same.

"It doesn't matter if it's male."

Mr. Jacob's fist slowly unclenched as he bowed his head, inspecting the soft hat in his hands, "I can't cut off my feelings for Miss Maggie... My God, what's gotten into me, just thinking of Miss Maggie makes my cheeks flush... Father, please tell me, would the Goddess Yuniya support my feelings for Miss Maggie?"

"The Goddess is tolerant and merciful, and she deeply loves her followers..."

Marvin paused briefly, then continued:

"I think, as long as Mr. Jacob, you and Miss Maggie love each other, and don't do something against common sense, Goddess Yuniya will surely support you."

"Of course not!"

Mr. Jacob stood up, somewhat excitedly, "With your words, I am reassured. I will go and find Miss Maggie now, to confess my feelings to her!"

She's a male...

Although Marvin really wanted to correct this point, upon seeing the excitement in Mr. Jacob's eyes, some things just got stuck in his throat and he couldn't say them.

"One more thing, Father."

Mr. Jacob, about to leave the Confessional Room, suddenly stopped, turned, and looked at Marvin: "If that wench Maggie Criss doesn't agree to my relationship with Miss Maggie, I'll need you to mediate."

Before Marvin could respond, Mr. Jacob pulled out five silver coins from his pocket, each with an imprint of the current King Rhodes IV of the Kingdom of Windsor on one side and a double-headed eagle on the other, and placed them on the baptismal font at the entrance to the Church where Holy Water was kept.

"Please don't refuse them. I have no other way to repay the Church, this is just a small token of my gratitude, offered to the Goddess of Truth, Yuniya."

"May the Goddess bless you, Mr. Jacob."

"Truth above all."

Mr. Jacob placed his right hand on his chest, gave a respectful nod to the statue, then picked up the porcelain bowl beside the baptismal font, scooped a bit of Holy Water, and drank it in one gulp.

"Ah!"

Mr. Jacob's spirits lifted after drinking the Holy Water: "Every time I drink Holy Water, it's like enlightenment floods in, praise the Goddess!"

Nonsense.

Because I added mint to it.

Marvin watched Mr. Jacob leave with a smile, and after he had walked away, he picked up the five Rod Shillings from the baptismal font and walked into the room that was slightly ajar beside the statue.