Ten

Jungkook

Taehyung was in a strange mood, had been ever since he'd found me in the living room two nights ago and he hadn't said much which was unusual for him.

I wasn't sure if he was angry at something I'd done - I didn't particularly care.

That night I'd promised myself that I'd have to stop whatever was going on between him and me.

I'd sworn to myself that I'd never become one of those trophies, that I'd never marry someone from our world and much less develop feelings for him.

Christmas was only five days away but we both hadn't caught the holiday spirit yet, there wasn't a single piece of Christmas decoration in our apartment. I'd considered asking Taehyung to buy a tree and decorate it together but the panic had set in again and I hadn't said anything. Instead, I'd accepted the strange mood between us with relief.

Taehyung was gripping the steering wheel in a steel grip as we drove away from the last Christmas party of the season, the hosts had rented a deserted warehouse and turned it into a winter wonderland with fake snow and a real ice bar. Jimin and Yoongi were still there but Taehyung's bad temper had caused Yoongi to send us away early. He'd probably worried that Taehyung would end up killing someone again and I couldn't blame him.

The road was covered with a fine sheen of frost which glittered in the glare of our spotlights.

"You know what's funny?" Taehyung asked in a tight voice, "Whenever you think I'm not watching, you look like you might be happy and then the moment our eyes meet, it's like 'poof' and the happiness is gone."

My eyes went wide as I glanced toward his side profile, his tense body and dark expression.

I wasn't sure what to tell him.

"Why do you insist on being miserable?"

Before I could formulate an answer, Taehyung suddenly floored the gas. I was pressed into the seat. "What are you doing? You don't have to kill us because you're pissed."

Taehyung peered into the side mirror. "I'm not trying to kill us. I'm trying to save our lives."

Something collided with our trunk, forcing me to glance over my shoulder, flashlights of another SUV filled the rear window.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"Yakuza would be my guess, I noticed them too late. Fvck. This happens when I get distracted by other shit."

We were the only cars in this part of the industrial area, Taehyung twisted the steering wheel and we shot around a corner into a narrow street between two high storehouses.

"Head down, now" Taehyung barked.

I obeyed at once, struggling against my seat belt, I leaned forward.

A second later, our pursuers rained shots at us.

The rear window exploded into shards, Taehyung didn't react, he kept driving like a madman. He'd somehow even managed to pull his gun. I ducked low and clutching the seat, my head pressed against my legs as I tried to minimize being jerked back and forth with every twist and turn of the car. Tires were screeching, gunshots whistling through the air, glass bursting. A new shower of shards rained down on me as the side window in the back exploded.

"Fvck."

Taehyung snarled, his eyes turning a volatile shade of red while he tried to get a connection with his phone, probably to call Yoongi.

Fear was clogging my throat tightly as tears started to form in my eyes. Fear for my own life was only a small part of it, seeing Taehyung in a clear line of fire terrified me even more.

My husband couldn't duck his head.

One bullet and everything could be over.

We turned another corner and I slammed against the door, I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting my tears and rising car sickness.

More shots rang out and Taehyung let out a hiss, I peered to the side, Taehyung was still driving and shooting at our pursuers, he was bleeding from wounds in his arm and shoulder. That moment another bullet grazed his head, blood was everywhere, even on my face. Taehyung didn't even seem to care, he fired another round of shots.

Suddenly we were spinning, the car out of control, I wrapped my arms around my head as I was thrown around in my seat. Through half-closed eyes, I saw our car shooting toward a massive wall and then there was an earsplitting crash as we smashed into it. My body violently jerked forward, the air rushing out of me. I was flung against the safety belt, it cut into my collarbone and my vision turned black then something exploded in my face, stopping my impact.

~~~

I didn't know how long I hung limply in my seat belt, my face buried in the deflating airbag as I tried to catch my breath.

My ears were ringing, eventually, it faded and silence greeted me.

With a groan I sat up, ignoring my throbbing headache.

Smoke was rising from our crushed hood, slowly filling the car through the broken windows, I blinked to get rid of the dots dancing in and out of my vision. My entire body was sore but nothing seemed to be broken, at least I could move.

I slowly turned my face toward the driver's side and stilled, it was dark in the car but from somewhere a distant glow illuminated what was around me. I could see Taehyung slumped over the steering wheel. Like many jopok cars, the driver didn't have an airbag because it was a bother during car chases. Blood plastered his hair to his forehead, soaking his shirt and dripped down on his pants.

So much blood.

Taehyung must have hit his head against the steering wheel or maybe the dashboard when we'd collided with the wall.

'Was he dead?'

He wasn't moving, I couldn't see if he was breathing.

I held my breath, listening for a sound, there was nothing.

I blinked, then peered over my shoulder to see where our pursuers were. Their car had smashed into another building and had already caught fire, they were dead.

'Was our car going to start burning too?'

I needed to get out.

'Wasn't this the chance I'd been waiting for?'

Taehyung and I were alone.

Nobody was here to stop me from running.

I could leave and be free.

I slowly unbuckled myself, moving through the pain, then glanced at Taehyung again. I needed to check if he was dead, but somehow I couldn't.

'What if he was gone? What if he was dead?'

My throat felt tight and raw, lungs refused their work as panic settled in my body.

'God, what if he was dead? What was wrong with me? Hadn't I wanted him out of my life months ago?'

This was my chance, probably the only chance I'd ever get.

The smell of gas drifted into my nose, the smoke accumulating faster inside the car was starting to burn in my eyes.

Taehyung was a killer, he wasn't a good man.

'If you asked most people, they'd say he deserved death.'

With shaky fingers I reached out and touched Taehyung's shoulder, he still felt warm but that didn't mean he was alive. Slowly, I inched my hand up until I brushed his blood-slick throat. My fingers ghosted over his skin, finding nothing, pressing and searching, until finally, a soft pulse beat against my fingertips.

I exhaled, relief slamming into me like a hammer.

Still alive.

He was still alive.

Thank fvck.

With a sizzle and a pop fire shot out under the hood of the car, I gripped the door handle and pushed but it didn't budge, too distorted from the crash.

Panic spread in my chest as smoke and heat filled up the car. I started clawing at the door, I shifted, tugged my sleeve down and tight my hand and roughly cleaned the broken window frame from the remaining shards before I climbed out of the car headfirst.

When I finally felt solid ground under my feet, I almost dropped to my knees because my legs were shaking like crazy. The entire hood was burning now and Taehyung was still in the driver's seat. I stood and rushed around the car, toward his door, praying that it wasn't stuck like mine. I didn't think I could drag Taehyung through a narrow window without his help.

I gripped the car door and tugged as hard as I could, with a screech it flew open and I landed on my butt. I caught my breath, then stumbled to get up on my feet, I then grabbed Taehyung's arm. He hadn't been wearing a seat belt so I could pull him out of the car without trouble. He plopped down on me but his head hit the asphalt a bit too hard and I winced, I quickly hooked my hand under his armpits and pulled him away from the car that was catching fire way too quickly.

Taehyung was heavy and dragging him away from the car with my tattered body hurt like hell.

I didn't stop until I was sure he was a safe distance away in case of an explosion, I let go of him before I straightened and wiped the sweat that has mixed blood on my palms through my pants. Taehyung's eyes were closed, his face turned to the side, showing his striking profile. Strands of blood-soaked hair stuck to his forehead and a puddle of red was quickly spreading around his head, trickling from his head wound.

I could see his chest rising and falling, my eyes searched our surroundings. The car of the Yakuza was already a flaming mess, dark plummets of smoke rising into the sky. We were in the middle of nowhere, an abandoned industrial area nobody set foot in without reason.

'The smoke would certainly attract attention. Somebody would find Taehyung before it was too late. Right?'

I should run.

I should want to run.

I started backing away from Taehyung's unmoving form on the ground, ignoring the way guilt corded up my throat.

He'd forced me into a marriage I'd never wanted.

He knew I would use the first chance I got to escape.

I took another step back, Taehyung had chosen a path of danger and death.

Even if he died today, it was what he'd chosen for himself.

This wasn't the life I wanted.

I turned around, then paused.

I closed my eyes.

Distantly flames crackled.

Someone would find Taehyung in time.

And even if they didn't, I shouldn't care.

I didn't care about him.

I didn't.

And I definitely shouldn't.

I should hate him.

I should hate what he was and what it meant for me.

I should that he couldn't give me up no matter how often I pushed him away.

'Why couldn't he give up?'

I started walking away, one small step after the other.

Once I was out of town, I would call Jimin and ask him about Taehyung.

It will be too late for him then.

Maybe.

Or maybe not.

Taehyung was tough.

A head wound wouldn't kill him.

I chanced a look over my shoulder, my eyes finding Taehyung's unmoving body, sprawled out on the concrete.

Behind him, the cars were burning, tingeing the illuminated city sky black with their smoke.

Funeral black.

The pool of blood around Taehyung's head looked black from my vantage point, and it had grown even more.

"I don't want to love you," I whispered as I jerked to a halt, clenching my eyes shut.

'But I did. I did love Taehyung.'

My eyes flew open, I whirled around and begun walking back, then started running, getting faster and faster, until I was racing. I dropped to my knees beside Taehyung, fumbling in my pockets for my phone but coming up empty. It was in my bag. My gaze went to the burning car where I'd left my stuff.

'Stupid Jungkook.'

I reached into Taehyung's pocket and exhaled a shuddering breath when I grabbed his phone. Thankfully he doesn't have a lock on his phone, not wasting time scrolling through his contact I hit speed dial.

"I'm not in the mood to talk to you, Taehyung. You acted like a major asshole tonight," Yoongi's sharp voice rang in my ear.

I let out a sob.

"Jungkook?" I could hear Jimin in the background but couldn't hear what he was saying.

"He's dying," I said after a moment, sound flat and voiceless.

"What are you talking about? Give me Taehyung."

"I can't. Yakuza attacked us. There's so much blood, Yoongi, so much blood."

"Is Taehyung alive?"

For the first time since Jimin almost died, Yoongi sounded worried.

My eyes darted to the body beside me.

To my husband.

To Taehyung.

'Was it my imagination or had Taehyung's chest stopped moving?'

I pressed my palm against his blood-soaked shirt, there was nothing, "He's not breathing. He was a moment ago, but he's not anymore."

Hysteria found its way into my voice.

"Jungkook, you have to do CPR. I'll be there soon. I have your GPS coordinates. You'll have to get him breathing or it'll be too late."

I didn't say anything, only stared at the man I loved.

I'd wanted to hate him, had given it my all, and at the beginning there had been hate, so much of it, but not all of it had been directed at Taehyung, now hardly any seemed left, and it felt ridiculous to hold onto what little I still harboured.

"Jungkook?"

Yoongi's voice sliced right through me.

I could hear a commotion in the background, the sound of a car springing to life. I put Yoongi on loudspeaker and cupped Taehyung's face, then pressed my lips against his and blew air into his lungs. I tried to remember how often to press as I rested my clasped hands against his ribcage. I didn't know the first thing about CPR except for what I'd seen on TV.

'Why had I never paid better attention? What if Taehyung died because I was doing something wrong?'

Yoongi's next words tore through my thoughts, I'd forgotten he was on the phone, "I know you feel like Taehyung trapped you, that he ruined your life but no matter what you think, he didn't do it to make you miserable. For some unexplainable reason, Taehyung loves you. You don't have to believe me. You can keep hating him but don't leave him alone, not now. If you help me save his life, I'll grant you freedom. I swear it on my honour and my life. Jimin is here. He's a witness. You will get money, a new identity and even protection from the Cheong Ryong if you want. It's all yours if you save his life."

"Okay," I said as I pressed down on Taehyung's chest again, I wasn't even sure why I said it.

"You have to do chest compressions. Hard and fast. Don't worry about breaking his ribs. 30 pushes, two breathes. Fast."

I sped up my compressions, then bent over Taehyung to breathe into his mouth twice, "He's not reacting!" I gasped as I started everything from the beginning.

"Keep doing it, Jungkook."

And I did, even as my fingers cramped.

They were red and sticky with blood.

I couldn't even see through my eyes anymore.

They were blurry with tears.

'Why couldn't I stop crying? I cried over a man like Taehyung but had hardly shed a tear over his ex, Wolf?'

"We'll be there in ten minutes," Yoongi said, "How's Taehyung?"

I didn't reply.

I pushed harder against Taehyung's chest and then he drew in a shallow breath.

I froze, almost scared I'd imagined it.

I quickly leaned over his face and felt the gentle breeze of his breath against my cheek. I brushed shaky fingers over his throat, finding his pulse, it wasn't as fast and strong as usual but it was there.

I closed my eyes for a moment, squeezed a few annoying tears away and then I opened them.

I sank on my butt and stretched out my legs.

I wanted to cradle Taehyung's head in my lap but worried about hurting his neck, so I merely rested my palm against his chest to reassure myself of his steady heartbeat, blood started to soak my pants but I was beyond caring.

"Jungkook? Are you still there?"

"Yes... Taehyung is breathing again."

There was a pause.

"Good," Yoongi said quietly, "Stay where you are."

"Don't worry."

My headache had gotten even worse.

I probably had a concussion.

I tilted my head back and stared up at the sky littered with stars and hazy with smoke, I felt the gentle rise and fall of Taehyung's chest was almost like a lullaby and my eyes started to droop. My headache had gotten even worse. I probably had a concussion.

I could hear the roar of engines from a distance, I slowly turned my head, two cars were racing in our direction.

The one in front was Yoongi's Aston Martin and the one in the back belonged to his crony, Namjoon.

I pulled my hand away from Taehyung's chest and slowly rose to my feet, anchoring my hand over a knee, even as my vision swam.

The Aston stopped with fuming tires and Yoongi jumped out, he stormed toward Taehyung, barely sparing me a glance as he knelt beside his brother and felt his throat. He made a quick scan of Taehyung's injuries and then Namjoon and Hoseok were already beside him. Someone touched my shoulder and then Jimin appeared in my field of vision. He wrapped his arms around me and I sagged against him, feeling drained, "Are you hurt?"

"I don't know."

"Get him away," Yoongi said, "Take my car and drive him to our apartment."

I pulled back to look down at him, "Where are you taking Taehyung?"

"To the hospital. This is too serious for our doc," he said, then smiled coldly, "Don't worry. I'll honour my promise. When I return to the apartment, we'll make the necessary arrangements to ensure your freedom."

Yoongi's eyes were hard.

I had a feeling he wouldn't have minded much if I'd died in the crash.

"Maybe Jungkook wants to go to the hospital with Taehyung," Jimin suggested softly as Yoongi and Hoseok lifted Taehyung carefully and carried him over to the jeep. Namjoon was talking to his subordinates on the phone, making arrangements to keep the police out of this.

"He doesn't," Yoongi said firmly, "Help him gather his things from Taehyung's apartment. We can get him settled in his new life before my brother returns home."

'Why didn't I protest? Why couldn't I admit my feelings even now?'

Jimin gave me a searching look but I shrugged, ignoring the heat behind my eyeballs and the tight feeling in my chest as I watched them take Taehyung away.

"We can follow them in our car," he whispered.

I swallowed, slowly shake my head, "No. Yoongi's right. I need to pack up my things."

Frowning, but without protest, Jimin led me toward the Aston Martin.

~~~

Taehyung

Every inch of my body hurt and my head felt like it was filled with cotton.

Groaning, I tried to open my fvcking eyes, which seemed to be glued shut. Resisting the urge to peel them open with my fingernails, I slowly opened them a tiny bit, then finally fully. Yoongi was sitting in a chair next to my bed.

A fvcking hospital bed.

"Don't tell me you took me to a fvcking hospital?" I rasped, then coughed.

Fvck.

I felt like death warmed over.

Yoongi leaned forward, a wry smile on his face.

'Did he have to look so damn worried? I wasn't a kid who needed his protection anymore.'

"Now that you're swearing again, I'll consider moving you to my penthouse. Namjoon is already looking forward to playing nurse."

I was reaching for the needle in the back of my hand to pull it out but paused when his words sunk in.

"Your penthouse?"

"You'll need to rest a few days. I know you, so there needs to be someone to keep an eye on you."

He was watching me carefully as if he was trying to gauge if I could take the bad news.

"Did something happen to Jungkook?"

"No. He's fine."

He paused.

"Spit it out, Yoongi. Damn it!"

"I made a deal with him."

"Stop fvcking around. Tell me the fvcking truth. I can take it."

"When he called me, you weren't breathing. I was worried he'd use his chance to run."

"My life against his freedom," I said with a dark laugh.

"He agreed. Now he's home with Jimin, packing his bags."

"We need to protect Jungkook from the Cheong Ryong. Their old man won't accept it."

"You want to protect him?" Yoongi asked incredulously.

"Jungkook's still my husband. I'll protect him as long as he'll let me."

"He'll leave as soon as I've set everything up. You better forget about him sooner than later."

I glared, "Would you just forget Jimin because someone told you to?"

"Jimin wouldn't need bribing to save my fvcking life."

I jerked the needle out of my hand and sucked the blood away that welled up before I swung my legs out of the bed, despite my splitting headache. My eyes scanned the table beside my bed for my knives and my gun holster.

They weren't there.

Damn it.

I felt fvcking naked without them.

"Fvck," Yoongi muttered. The bastard grabbed my shoulders to stop me from standing, "I didn't mean to get you all riled up. You're supposed to stay in bed."

"I don't give a damn, brother. I'm not a fvcking toddler. Stop patronizing me, I've dealt with worse shit than a headache."

I shrugged his hands off and slid off the edge of the bed.

Big mistake.

The moment my bare feet hit the floor, I swayed.

Yoongi steadied me.

With a groan, I sank back down on the bed, "What did they give me? I feel as if someone put roofies in my drink."

Yoongi gave me his most patronizing expression, "I told you to stay in bed."

"Shut up." I blinked a few times. It did nothing to banish the dots from my vision, "I want to get the hell out of here. I'm fine."

"You're fine when I tell you. I'm your leader."

I opened the drawer in the bedside table, but my weapons weren't in there either, "Where are my knives?"

"In the car. I could hardly roll you into hospital armed to the teeth."

I clenched my jaw, then pushed myself to my feet again.

This time I hardly swayed at all.

Yoongi glowered at me, "Goddammit, Taehyung. Why can't you listen for once?"

"Don't give me that bullshit. If our situations were switched, you'd be out of the fvcking hospital already." He didn't bother denying it. I knew him, "Let's go."

Yoongi thrust a bag at me, "Hoseok picked up a few clothes for you. The ones you were wearing during the crash have to be burnt."

I got out of the embarrassing hospital gown and slipped into clean jeans, "What about underwear? Maybe Hoseok likes it if his junk jiggles around in his pants but I prefer another barrier between my balls and the zipper."

Yoongi snorted, "I wonder what it will take to shut your big mouth. Almost getting killed and having your husband leave your sorry ass isn't enough."

I stopped buttoning my shirt, I knew he was joking and he was right.

Nothing ever got me down.

Not when our mother died, not when our father beat the crap out of me, not when I was bleeding like a pig.

'Then why the fvck did mentioning Jungkook feel like a fvcking punch to the gut?'

Damn it.

I was turning into a crying mess, I sent Yoongi a forced smirk but he was already scrutinizing me with a frown.

"Don't tell me you're so eager to get out of the hospital because you hope to walk across Jungkook and talk him into staying with you. He won't. The selfish bitch wants freedom."

I stalked toward him, getting right in his face, "Don't call him bitch." Then I fvcking swayed and had to grab Yoongi's shoulder to stop myself from making a faceplant.

'So much for being threatening. Damn it.'

Yoongi only stared.

"I swear if you don't stop giving me that fvcking pity look I'm going to beat you to a bloody pulp," I muttered.

"I don't pity you. Pity is for people who got into a bad situation with no fault of their own, but you chose Jungkook. You saw how volatile and fvcking annoying he was and you still wanted him. You were turned on by him bitchiness. You got yourself into this mess. Now you have to deal."

"Cold-hearted bastard," I said, glad he didn't try to console me.

Yoongi smirked, "Always."

I shoved on a shirt and slipped into my shoes, "Hoseok is a fvcking asshole. Is he a nudist or what?"

"He probably thinks you are."

I headed for the door, trying to walk as tall as possible despite my wobbly legs, Yoongi walked too close. He probably thought he might need to catch me if I fainted.

"Stop hovering. People will think you're my sugar-daddy."

Yoongi ignored my comment, "What do you remember before you woke up?"

'Back to business, thank God.'

"A bunch of cock-sucking Yakuza chased Jungkook and me, I got rid of the first car pretty quick. A bullet between the brows got rid of the driver and the resulting crash of the other fvckers. The second car was more trouble. I don't remember what happened to them."

"They burnt in their car. Charcoal. All of them."

"What about my car?"

"Charcoal."

"Great."

"Could have been worse. You didn't look good when I first saw you."

I reached for the tender spot on top of my head. A few nurses watched us as we passed them, they didn't stop us. Yoongi had probably already settled everything in advance.

"You're lucky they didn't shave your entire head. Knowing how vain you are, you wouldn't have stopped bitching about it."

"You know how to cheer me up, brother," I said.

Yoongi was busy texting someone, he barely glanced up.

"You're warning Jimin that we're coming, aren't you?"

I couldn't help but wonder if Jungkook was still with Jimin if they were making plans for Jungkook's future without me. Yoongi had offered Jungkook freedom on a golden platter. He'd be stupid not to go through with it.

A life away from any jopok was something he'd always wanted.

Away from me.

Jungkook will finally get his wish.

Yoongi spared me the barest glance, "It's for the best, believe me."

Annoyance zipped through me.

Yoongi had always tried to dictate my life – lookout for me as he called it – and it had only gotten worse since he was also my leader.

"I can handle Jungkook, I'm not a scared cat, Yoongi. I won't break down and cry because my husband wants to run as far away from me as possible."

"I know."

He stuffed his phone back into his jacket, I knew he'd already told Jimin everything he needed to know. We arrived at Yoongi's car and opened the door for me, "Don't think I'll put out just because you're being a gentleman," I told him as I half fell into the seat.

I hoped Yoongi thought I had done it on purpose and not because my legs had gone on strike.

"Don't worry. Your backdoor is safe."

Yoongi shut the door in my face before he rounded the car and slipped behind the steering wheel, he started the car and slid out of the parking lot.

"Do you want me to organize someone who can distract you? Maybe not today because of your head. But in the next couple of days."

I snorted out a laugh, "You mean a hooker?"

Yoongi gave a one-shoulder shrug, not taking his eyes off the street. He had his poker face on and it annoyed the crap out of me because I wasn't sure if this was a test or if he was being serious.

A few years ago, I'd have said he was dead serious, Yoongi had never had trouble moving from one to the next but that had been before Jimin.

"First of all, I might have a concussion but I'm not dead. That means I don't need a pity fvck. If I want someone, I can find one myself and you don't need to pay for it."

"You haven't seen yourself in the mirror yet."

I checked my reflection in the rearview mirror, "Okay. Maybe.. I'd have more trouble than usual."

I had two black eyes, both swollen and bloodshot, there was a bluish lump below my hairline. Not to mention that my hair was a matted mess.

"You'll scare the shit out of anyone you'll approach."

"So what? It always worked for you."

Yoongi chuckled, "So... is that a no?"

"A big fat one. I don't want to fvck anyone but…"

Realizing the fvcking trap I'd just walked in I snapped my mouth shut.

Damn it.

"You're not going to give him up, are you?" Yoongi said in a resigned tone.

"No."

"I swore on my honour to grant him freedom but I can break my promise if that's what you want. It's not like I haven't done worse before."

"No. I don't want you to break your oath. And... it would only make him hate me more. You can't force Jungkook to do anything, he needs to come back to me freely. That's the only way."

Yoongi shook his head, "Taehyung, even you must realize how futile it is to hope for that. He'll run and never come back. Are you willing to risk that?"

"Yes."

"Then you're a better man than I am. I would never let Jimin go."

I glared out of the window.

It sounded easy - letting him go, giving him the chance to find him way back to me but I wasn't sure I could go through with it.

I wasn't better than Yoongi but I was a hunter and sometimes a chase was useless, sometimes you had to wait for the prey to come to you.

I wasn't a patient hunter but this time I would try.

~~~

Jungkook

Jimin kept throwing glances my way, his brows drawn together in concern, "Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"

"I'm fine. Sorry. I'm exhausted." I snapped, then felt bad for it.

Jimin was always on my side, he'd done so much for me in the last year, even gone against Yoongi. The smell of smoke and blood lingered in my nose, a vivid echo of the earlier events, "It's okay, Kookie. You've gone through a lot," he said gently.

My thoughts drifted back to Taehyung.

I hoped he'd be fine.

He was tough, but he'd lost a lot of blood.

'Maybe I should have let Jimin drive me to the hospital to make sure he was alright.'

I wanted to be with him, wanted to be there when he woke and hold his hand while he was unconscious. I wanted to tell him that I was tired of the games, tired of pretending that I didn't care for him when I'd already lost my heart to him.

It was futile trying to lie to myself.

I knew I'd come to love Taehyung, even his arrogance and stupid, cocky smirk. He was still a bad man, a murderer and a criminal, I knew now that I wasn't much better. I did not doubt that I would have been like Taehyung if I'd been raised like him and not sheltered from life, like all trophies in our world.

It was an ugly truth, one I'd prefer to deny, but it was the truth and it was time to admit it and own up to the life I was meant to live.

The words lay on the tip of my tongue.

"You can take a quick shower, and then I'll help you pack everything."

"Oh, yeah. Sure," I said distractedly.

Pride had always been my problem, even now when I knew it was only hurting me, and Taehyung.

Jimin glanced my way, "Yoongi will keep his word. You don't have to worry. He's never broken his promise. He knows I'd never forgiven him if he'd lied. You'll be free."

'Free? What was freedom worth if it meant ignoring what my heart wanted?'

"I know."

"You don't look happy."

I wasn't happy.

'Why?'

For months, I'd wished for nothing more than to figure out a way out of this marriage, out of this life, out of this world and now that I finally got my wish, I didn't feel anything.

'How could I have been lying to myself for so long? Why couldn't I admit it, especially not to the outside world? Why did it feel as if admitting I loved Taehyung was the ultimate defeat?'

"I'm still recovering from the crash. That's all," I said nonchalantly on autopilot.

I wondered how long that lie would work.

Jimin didn't look convinced but he didn't push the matter.

I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes, not in the mood for conversation. I needed to sort through my emotions as soon as possible, but the splitting headache wasn't making it an easy feat.

I must have dozed off because suddenly Jimin was nudging me awake and we were parked in the underground garage. He gave me an encouraging smile, and for some reason it made me feel horrible. I quickly scrambled out of the car, unable to meet Jimin's compassionate gaze. I rushed toward the elevator, a few times almost tripping over my feet. Jimin caught up with me and called the elevator down with a press of the button.

"What's the rush? You don't have to worry that Taehyung will come home while we're still packing. They'll probably keep him in the hospital overnight. He looked really bad."

I leaned against the cool wall of the elevator, 'Did Jimin think that would cheer me up? Was I such a horrible bitch that people thought I'd be happy that someone was seriously injured?'

Of course, they did.

Yoongi had thought he had to offer me a ticket to freedom so I didn't let his brother die.

I was nothing but a heartless, selfish bitch in his mind.

Judging from Jimin's words, he agreed with him.

My throat corded up.

Maybe... they were right.

"I'm not worried," I said calmly.

It was easier to play the part they all expected me to play.

Jimin nodded, but he didn't stop watching me.

We were leaning across from each other and I could see my reflection behind him in the mirror. We couldn't have been more different. Jimin with his kind expression, angel-like hair, porcelain skin and come-hither, bedroom eyes with the epitome of pureness. And I looked like I'd risen from hell with my messy red hair, blood-covered clothes and skin with matching dark shadows under my eyes.

When we stepped into the apartment that I'd shared with Taehyung since our wedding, I quickly rushed into the master bedroom, from there into the adjoining bathroom, a quick shower would help me get a grip on my heart.

Yoongi's offer was my last chance, I knew that.

If I followed my heart instead and stayed with Taehyung, then that would be it.

I had to let my brain make this decision.

After my shower, I still didn't feel better but at least I'd made up my mind. Jimin was sitting on the bed, typing on his phone, when I entered the bedroom.

"Did Yoongi tell you about Taehyung?" I asked immediately, my throat already tightening and panic flooding me.

I should have gone with Taehyung.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe.

"He's doing fine. It's only a concussion and a few cracked ribs." He finally looked up and quickly walked over to me, "You look pale."

I swallowed.

Taehyung would be fine.

Slowly my panic settled down.

"You are really worried about him, aren't you? Why don't you admit it, Jungkook? You can trust me, you know that."

"I worried about him, I'm not made from stone, Jimin. I don't want anything to happen to Taehyung. I care about him, believe it or not."

"But, not enough to stay?" Jimin asked.

I wasn't sure what to say.

All my well-laid plans in the shower seemed to crumble before me again.

"I need to lie down for a while, I think. Or do we have to leave soon?"

Jimin shook his head, "No, Yoongi will take Taehyung to our penthouse when he wakes, so you won't cross his path if you stay here. It's late anyway. Catch some sleep."

I grabbed clean clothes and put them on before I lay down on top of the covers.

I could hear Jimin closing the door and then silence reigned around me.

It was already lights out when I woke.

I was alone in the bedroom.

I quickly scrambled off the bed and left the room, half expecting to find Taehyung in the kitchen.

He wasn't.

Jimin was there, he tapped something into his phone before handing me a cup of coffee, "How do you feel?"

"Where's Taehyung? Is he okay? Is he still in the hospital?"

"He's fine. He's in the penthouse, sleeping off his concussion."

"Oh, right. He's at your place. That makes sense."

"Jungkook, you don't have to leave. You realize that, right? It's okay to stay with Taehyung."

I stared at him.

'It was okay, wasn't it? Okay to love a man like him, okay to accept life in the Cheong Ryong.'

The elevator stopped with a ding and Yoongi walked out, his cold gaze settling on me, I had to suppress a shiver. That was what hatred looked like and I supposed he had every reason to hate me, Hoseok was a couple of steps behind him like a good lapdog.

"I hope your bags are packed. I want you out of this apartment as soon as possible."

"Yoongi," Jimin hissed, "That's not fair."

For once he couldn't warm his cold heart, "No. That bitch needs to get as far away from my brother as possible. I want him gone. He's been ruining his life for long enough."

I glared, but deep down I wondered if he was right.

'Of course, I'd never admit it.'

"I know you think Taehyung deserves better than me but let me tell you one thing. Jimin deserves better too. He's too good and pure and kind for you. You aren't even worth the dirt under his shoes. He's too loving and nice to see it, but I do. You think I destroyed Taehyung's life? I never got a choice in the matter. I didn't want to marry him. You on the other hand chose to marry Jimin. You chose to destroy his life with your darkness. So, get down from your high horse, you damn bastard. You don't deserve him and never will."

Jimin's knuckles turned white from his grip on Yoongi's wrist. He could have shaken him off with ease but he didn't move.

"I know," he said in a steely voice, "But the difference between you and me is that I'm trying to be a better man for him, you never tried. You were always content with being a bitch."

Jimin gasped, "Yoongi, please."

"No. He's right. I'm a bitch and I'm leaving now. Tell Taehyung goodbye from me."

Wow, spoken like a true bitch.

It was too late to take the words and I knew I would be too prideful to do it anyway.

I took two of my bags that Jimin must have carried down before I'd woken, headed for Hoseok who picked up my other bags and followed me toward the elevator. I stepped inside and faced Jimin and Yoongi, my head held high.

Yoongi's gaze was unrestrained hate but Jimin was crying. He was pleading me with his eyes and eventually I couldn't take it anymore and lowered my gaze to the floor.

The doors slid shut and the elevator started moving, Hoseok didn't try to make conversation.

Every look he gave me spoke of disapproval.

I wondered if Yoongi would have had me killed if it weren't for Jimin.

~~~

Hoseok drove me to a hotel where I would stay until I'd found an apartment. I wasn't even sure if I would stay in Seoul and returning to Busan was definitely out of the question, I'd be dead within a week.

"Here, five thousand dollars. Yoongi will contact you with more details soon," Hoseok said as he parked in front of the hotel.

A doorman opened my door, Hoseok didn't follow me as I got out of the car, only gave the doorman information about the reservation.

The moment the doorman had lifted my luggage out of the trunk, Hoseok drove off, leaving me alone.

I stared after the car.

Nobody was watching me.

I was free.

'Then why did freedom feel like my new prison?'

~~~

Taehyung

"I don't think this is a good idea," Yoongi muttered as he followed me into my apartment.

"This is my home, Yoongi. I'm not an invalid. I won't have another sleepover at your place," I said.

I was still feeling fvcking dizzy but I wasn't going to admit it to Yoongi.

Yoongi close behind me, if he didn't stop it soon, I'd kick his ass. I walked into my bedroom, I stopped in the middle of the room, the drawers were ajar. I didn't have to look into them to know they were empty.

"He moved out this morning."

"I know."

I could feel Yoongi's eyes on me, "You should stay with Jimin and me, it's almost Christmas. Do you want to spend the holidays sulking?"

"I don't care about Christmas and I'm not sulking. I'm supposed to rest, remember? And I don't want you to watch me while I sleep."

I pointed at my head, then walked over to the bed and lied down.

"You will have dinner with Jimin and me tonight. I don't care if I have to drag you into my penthouse, you will be there."

I nodded, "Let me sleep."

He finally left.

Of course, there was no way I could sleep.

My eyes darted toward the dressing room with its empty shelves.

Jungkook was gone, and this time I wasn't going to hunt him.

~~~

Jungkook

I stared out of the window of my hotel room.

It was dinner time but I wasn't hungry, I hadn't left the room since I'd checked in this morning.

'Did freedom always feel this lonely?'

My phone beeped with a message, It was from Jimin.

Taehyung broke down again.

He's unconscious.

I called him immediately, my heart hammering in my chest, he picked up after the first ring.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"At our place. He's in the guest bedroom. The doc says he needs to stay in bed. He overexerted himself too soon after the crash."

"I'm coming over."

"You are?" Jimin asked in a hopeful voice.

"Yes. Tell Yoongi he should get used to my presence again."

I could practically hear Jimin smiling, "I knew it." He paused, "I'll send Hoseok over."

"No, I'm taking a cab. I'll be there soon."

When I arrived in the apartment, Yoongi barred my way, "What is he doing here?"

"I want to see Taehyung," I said.

And I didn't care if I had to knock out Yoongi to do it.

Yoongi glared, "Get the fvck away."

"Yoongi, please," Jimin whispered.

I tried to walk past Yoongi but he didn't let me, "Let me see my husband."

"Taehyung can't use emotional stress right now. You leaving and then returning won't help with his recovery," Yoongi growled. I had a feeling his words would have been much worse if Jimin weren't standing beside him. "If you stay now, you'll stay for good. I'm done with your games."

"I'm not leaving again."

Yoongi sent me a doubtful look but he stepped back.

I didn't hesitate, I rushed toward the guest bedroom and stormed inside.

Taehyung was asleep.

I lay down beside him, determined to keep watch over him until he opened his eyes.

~~~

Taehyung

A soft hand held onto mine.

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to clear my vision.

I felt like a total wimp for having passed out.

'Fvck.'

I'd been shot and stabbed and even burnt before, a stupid hit to the head brought me down to my knees.

It was a disgrace.

I slowly turned my head, Jungkook was curled up beside me, his hand clutching mine. His clothes were wrinkly and his hair a complete mess as if he'd been at my side for a while. His face was mostly covered by him unruly hair, I felt the irresistible urge to see his expression.

Slowly, carefully, I sat up and brushed a few strands away with my free hand. Jungkook looked like a fvcking angel while he sleeps, his eyelashes rested on his pale skin.

'Too beautiful to be real."

I trailed a fingertip over his high cheekbone, enjoying the softness of his skin and noticing a faint scar.

Jungkook's eyes fluttered beneath his lids and then they peeled open, he blinked sleepily until his gaze finally focused on me.

I waited for him to let go of my hand and jump off the bed like it had caught fire.

At the very least I expected some ridiculous excuse for why he was here, holding my hand.

I doubted Yoongi had dragged him back, he knew I didn't want him to.

Jungkook didn't do any of those things however, he sat up slowly, blinking away sleep and rubbing his eyes with the hand that wasn't holding mine. He searched the room for something, "What time is it?"

I had no fvcking clue.

I wasn't even sure what day it was.

"You are asking me?"

He laughed once, then his expression tightened, "You scared me."

"I did? I suppose I'm a scary guy."

Jungkook didn't smile, he was looking at me with an expression I'd never seen on his face, vulnerable and open.

"I should have never agreed to Yoongi's offer, I was being stubborn. I didn't want to admit my feelings to myself but when Jimin called to tell me you'd broken down again," He paused, his fingers on my hand tightening, "I was terrified that I'd lose you."

I didn't say anything, wasn't sure what to say.

My general solution in emotional situations was humour but it felt wrong to make a joke. I didn't want to stop Jungkook from saying whatever else he had to say.

"All I could think about when I wasn't at your side after you'd broken down was 'what if you die and all I've ever done was treat you badly and push you away'." He stared off toward the window, guilt marring his beautiful face, "I've been acting like a major bitch. I'm sorry, Taehyung."

I touched his cheek and moved closer, "You don't need to apologize for anything, Jungkook. I enjoyed most of our arguments. They added entertainment to my boring days." I smirked and this time I got a tiny smile and a nose scrunch in return.

'Was that a nose scrunch? Adorable.'

"You should be pissed, Taehyung. You know what Yoongi offered me in exchange for saving your life and I agreed. Why aren't you sending me away? I would deserve it."

I shrugged.

I didn't like the idea that Jungkook had eagerly accepted Yoongi's offer but he was here now.

It had taken a while but eventually, I'd realized that Jungkook had to come to me on him own. Jungkook would never let anyone force him to admit him feelings. I touched the back of his head and pulled him toward me, he didn't resist and when his mouth touched mine, he wrapped his arms around my neck and deepened our kiss. My hand found its way under his shirt, feeling the soft skin of his firm stomach and moved higher.

Jungkook stopped my hand's exploration, "You need to rest. You passed out yesterday, I won't let you overexert yourself again."

I chuckled, "Come on. If you ride me, I won't have to exert myself at all, husband. You'll do all the work."

"Yeah, right," he said, "No way am I going to risk your recovery. Yoongi would be so pissed if I did something stupid. He hates me anyway, I don't want to give him another reason to keep me away from you."

"Yoongi wouldn't stop you from seeing me."

He raised his eyebrows, "He tried to stop me from coming here yesterday."

"Why the fvck did he do that?"

Annoyance shot through me, Yoongi always had to play Baekho's leader and order people around.

"I suppose he was worried about you," Jungkook admitted grudgingly. There was no love lost between my brother and him, I was surprised by his admittance, "He didn't want me to play with you. He thought it was better if there was a clean-cut between us and I left your life for good."

"What made him change his mind?"

"Jimin, I suppose."

"Of course," I said, though I'd hoped for another reason. I leaned back against the headboard, ignoring the slight twinge in my head at the movement. I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to look fvcking relaxed when I was anything but. "I'm fine now. I won't die. You could leave now without feeling guilty."

Jungkook looked at me for a long time without saying anything, "I don't want to leave."

"You agreed to Yoongi's offer, you said it yourself."

"I did because Yoongi took me by surprise with it. You were dying right in front of me, we barely survived a crash and the crazy Yakuza and suddenly I was offered something I'd thought I wanted. I didn't even really think before I said yes."

I nodded but didn't say anything.

I was tired of making the first move, of always pursuing Jungkook, this time I wanted to hear something from him.

Jungkook sighed, his doe eyes tired, "You think I would have let you die if Yoongi hadn't offered me a ticket to freedom, don't you? That's what everyone thinks, probably even Jimin."

I kept my expression neutral, "Isn't it the truth?"

He glared, "How dare you? No, it's not the truth. When Yoongi mentioned his stupid offer, I had already started chest compressions. I didn't know what I was doing and probably made every mistake possible. I wasn't just letting you die. I was doing everything I could even before Yoongi offered me freedom for your life. I would have never let you die, never. I know you don't have to believe me. There's no reason why you should, I could be lying for all you know."

But I did believe him, I knew how to read people and Jungkook wasn't lying.

I could tell how upset Jungkook was, more upset than I'd seen him in a long time.

"I don't think you'd lie about that."

Jungkook didn't even seem to hear me, he was scowling in the direction of the window, he cheeks flushed with emotions, "I knew the moment I saw you lying in your blood that I didn't want to lose you. I knew it but I still didn't want to admit it to anyone. I was stupid and stubborn. I was being bitchy like usual and once I'd agreed to Yoongi's offer, I was too proud to tell him that I didn't even want his stupid freedom. I didn't want to leave you, didn't want another life. I probably would have been miserable alone but too proud to admit it if you hadn't broken down. It felt like I was giving up like I was admitting defeat, which is so idiotic. How can love ever be a defeat?"

He fell silent, eyes widening.

I had become very still, like a hunter who didn't want to startle its prey.

Jungkook licked his lips nervously, he was probably regretting ever bringing up the 'L-word' and everything else that had bubbled out of him, that was who he was.

I wished I knew what he was thinking, I had a feeling I knew.

'Maybe he was waiting for me to say something first, to tell him I loved him, I wasn't going to open my fvcking heart to him and risk him stomping on it.'

I knew what I was feeling, had known it for a long time but I'd never said it to Jungkook.

I'd never said it to anyone.

Admitting something like that made you vulnerable and so far Jungkook had given me little reason to risk that. I'd hunted him long enough, now was his turn. I wouldn't push him in either direction, everything from this point on would have to come from him.

"Yoongi's offer still stands. You are a free man. You can walk out of this building and nobody will stop you."

"No," he said firmly, "I've run from my emotions for too long." He braced himself on his palms and leaned forward, "I want to be with you, Taehyung. I know I shouldn't want it but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm sick of ignoring this feeling and my heart. I love you."

Jungkook kissed me almost desperately, his hands finding their way into my hair. My head was still tender but I'd have rather cut my own throat than tell Jungkook to be careful.

I wanted to feel his lips, his fingers, his body.

I wanted all of him.

I need all of him.

I need my husband.

I need Jungkook.

"You sure you mean it?" I asked in a teasing voice when he pulled back.

With a blush Jungkook nodded, his eyes searching mine, "Yes. There's no fvcking doubt in my mind, I love you, Taehyung. I don't care what that makes me. I don't care what other people think about me, about us. I don't even care what Yoongi thinks. All I care about is us."

I kissed him again.

I'd never get enough of tasting him, "I love you, Jungkook. I've fvcking loved you for a long time."

~~~

Jungkook

Hearing Taehyung says that he loved me sets my heart aflame.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so happy.

I'd thought admitting my feelings to anyone would give that person more power over me but instead, I felt freer than I had in a long time.

I'd fought my emotions for so long, held myself back for no good reason.

Now that I'd said everything that needed to be said I felt relieved, all this had started as something that had been forced upon me but today, this life, Taehyung, my marriage, were my choices and I said yes to all of them.

Taehyung's kiss was demanding, there was no restraint, no sign that not too long ago he'd been unconscious.

I knew it was stupid but I wanted to feel him, wanted to show him with more than just words that I loved him. I pulled back and let my eyes wander down Taehyung's body. He was dressed in only a tight white cotton shirt and boxer shorts that did little to hide his erection. When I looked back up into his face, his gaze, his eyes have turned red and was transparent with heated lust.

I'd never listened to other people's advice, so why should I start now?

Taehyung wouldn't overexert himself, I would take care of him. I knelt on the bed and gripped his waistband. Taehyung smiled his cocky smirk, "I thought you didn't want to risk my health."

"Oh shut up," I said quietly, "Or do you want me to stop?"

"No. Don't stop."

Taehyung made himself comfortable against the array of pillows.

I smiled as I pulled down his boxer shorts, revealing his hard length. I moved between his legs so I could watch him while I sucked his cock. I cupped his balls, gently massaging them but I didn't touch his shaft yet.

I watched it twitch and grow even harder under my ministrations.

"You tease," Taehyung growled, "I thought you wouldn't torture me today."

He was right.

This wasn't about me.

I leaned forward and ran my tongue from his balls up to the tip, swirled around his before sucking him into my mouth. I slowly took inch after inch of him in until he hit the back of my throat before I let him slowly slide out again. Taehyung watched me through half-lidded eyes, he gently pulled my hair tucking it back behind my ear and stroked my cheeks as I licked and sucked his tip, knowing that it was where he was most sensitive.

I traced the tip of my tongue along the ridge of his tip slowly. Taehyung's breathing quickened, his abs tightened, without taking his eyes off me or stopped touching my face. It felt like he was revering me while I was revering him. I sucked a bit harder, feeling him getting closer, his fingers against my scalp tightened occasionally and he released a harsh growl every time my teeth scraped him lightly. He started pumping his hips, pushing his length deeper into my mouth and I let him. I was growing wet, slick started to leak on my thighs, the pressure between my legs had mounted to almost unbearable proportions. I was determined to ignore my own needs for today.

I wrap my hand around his hard shaft, trail my fingers up it and savour the feeling of his smooth, soft, velvety skin over his hard, thick cock. It was glistening with a drop of pre-cum. I licked over his tip to catch that drop and grin when he visibly tenses above me, his jaw clenching. I raise my eyes, locking eyes with him once more and lick the tip, tasting him.

He growls, watching me taste him, knowing how much I want him, Taehyung's motions grew frantic, I clamped my lips tightly around his cock as he thrust into my mouth over and over again. I didn't pull back, I cupped his balls tightly and met his gaze, the muscles in his shoulders flexed as I sucked harder, his body seized up with his orgasm.

He finally thrusted hard and deep, "I'm cumming, Jungkook," he growled when the orgasm hits him, shouting Jungkook's name and a few profanities.

I pulled back and wiped my mouth with a self-satisfied smirk.

Taehyung chuckled, a low sound deep from his chest, he reached for my shoulders and pulled me on top of him, claiming my mouth in a firm kiss. His hands glided down my back to cup my butt and squeezed, hard.

My core immediately tightened with arousal, slick leaking like he's on heat.

Before I could make up my mind, if I allow Taehyung to exert himself, even more, a knock sounded. I tensed, my eyes darting toward the door, which was already opening. Yoongi stood in the doorway, his gaze taking everything in without an expression, It wasn't hard to guess what we'd done.

After all, I was lying on top of a bottomless Taehyung who was groping my butt.

My face flamed with embarrassment.

"You really shouldn't barge into someone's bedroom like that," Taehyung teased in amusement, he didn't look embarrassed at all, but after everything I knew about him, that didn't surprise me anymore.

I stayed exactly the way I was, even though Taehyung wouldn't have cared if I'd moved away and bared his cock to his brother.

"You should be resting," Yoongi said dryly, those cat-eyes piercing me with an unreadable look.

'Was he angry?'

It was hard to tell, he'd been pissed around me, not that his presence made me much happier.

Taehyung gave my butt a firm pat, his smirk turning annoyingly smug, "I feel very well rested."

Yoongi shook his head, "I give up. You two do whatever you want. I don't even want to know what's going on or whatever," he turned around and closed the door behind him.

I pushed away from Taehyung and slid off the bed, trying my best to straighten my wrinkled clothes, but now there were also stains on them. They were an absolute mess.

"Hey, I thought we weren't done yet. I didn't even get to touch your ass.. that much," he teases while pouting.

"And you won't. Yoongi was right, you should rest. You've had enough excitement for the day," I said sternly.

Taehyung was already growing hard again and he didn't bother to hide it.

I huffed, "I'm going to change and clean up, then return with something for you to eat. In the meantime, please pull your mind out of the gutter."

Taehyung winked.

I stifled a smile and slipped out of the room, Jimin and Yoongi were in the dining area, talking in hushed voices.

I knew exactly what they were discussing.

Jimin noticed me first and fell silent, after a couple of seconds of silent scrutiny, he smiled brightly at me. Yoongi didn't share his enthusiasm though.

I ignored him.

"Could you give me some of your clothes? I really need to change and shower."

Yoongi raised his eyebrows, "Do you need to make yourself presentable so you can leave?"

I met his gaze, "I'm not leaving. Deal with it, Yoongi."

Jimin was practically bouncing when he stepped up to my side and linked our arms.

"We'll see," Yoongi said simply and Jimin shot him a glare before he led me upstairs toward their dressing room.

"Don't listen to him. He's protective of Taehyung," Jimin murmured, he pulled jeans and a long-sleeved sweater from his drawers and handed them to me. Yoongi's protectiveness of Jimin and Taehyung was one of the few things I liked about him, "I know. I haven't given him any reason to trust me with his brother."

Jimin watched me curiously as I undressed, "So, Kookie.. will you move back into Taehyung's apartment?"

I paused on my way to the bathroom, it wasn't as if I had already settled somewhere else. I hadn't even started considering where to live after I'd moved out, "Yes. I will move back in and be his husband. Probably not a good husband but it's not like Taehyung didn't know that when he married me."

"Taehyung doesn't expect you to be a perfect husband. He likes you for who you are, flaws and all."

It was the truth, even if I'd been blind to it for so long.

I stepped into the shower but didn't immediately turn the water on. Jimin sank down on the edge of the bathtub, "Are you sure you can do the same? Accept all of him, even the bad?"

There was plenty of bad in Taehyung, in every one really but I'd come to realize that there were in me as well, maybe not as much, but it was there. It was in all of us. I'd tried to become someone else, some kind of ideal person I'd thought I needed to be, but that had never been me and never would.

My husband, Taehyung had held up a mirror to my face and showed me who I really was and where I belonged.

I hated it, had fought it tooth and nail but it was time to be brave.

"Yes. I love him, the good and the bad," I said firmly.

Jimin smiled as if I'd given him some huge present.

Smiling back, I turned the water on, and really let the words sink in, their truthfulness.

I'd never been okay with everything Taehyung did, would never do even half of the things he had done and was going to do in the future. But, I'd realized I didn't have to be happy about every aspect of his life. As long as Taehyung treated me with care and respect, as long as he loved me and I loved him, things would work out.

I'd stand by him and support him as best as I could because he was mine and I was his.