Giving Meaning to Existence

Waiting for him within his soul space, the vestige of Yoruichi's Zanpakuto Spirit, which he had taken to calling Susu, bumped her head against Ohta as it said, "I'm sorry for your loss..."

Caressing the oversized cat on its snout, Ohta assured, "It's fine. I just need to go and get her back, right?"

Instead of responding to Ohta with words, Susu shrunk to roughly the size of a cow, rubbing her body against him and nearly knocking him over. She was similar to Yoruichi in the way she 'required' skinship, so Ohta let her do as she pleased, spreading his arms and rubbing his face against Susu's body as she used his like a grooming post.

Once Susu had gotten her fill, lying down, pulling her paws under her, and forming a 'cat loaf' next to him, Ohta scratched behind her ear and asked, "Seen my shadow recently...?"

"The shadowy one only comes out when you're present..." replied Susu, purring as she leaned her head into Ohta's scritches, effectively nuzzling his entire body.

"Then I'm gonna go looking for him," said Ohta, scratching under Susu's chin as he added, "Be a good girl and stay here. I'll come and play with you before I leave."

Though she wanted to go with him, Susu knew she was half the reason the 'shadowy one' wouldn't converse with Ohta. People weren't meant to be compatible with two Zanpakuto Spirits, but due to Ohta's regular Soul Resonances with Yoruichi when he first received his power, his soul was a half-step between a human's and a native-born soul. Those with attuned spiritual senses would even note he had a similar aura to a member of the Shihouin Clan.

"Okay, but don't take too long..." said Susu, nuzzling Ohta once last time before walking past him and leaping onto the boulder she usually napped on. There was no sun within Ohta's soul space, but a warm light radiated from above the Japanese-style palace, contrasting the perpetual twilight and gloom that loomed on the horizon...

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By roaming aimlessly through the battlefield surrounding the palace, allowing his instincts to guide him, it only took Ohta a few minutes to locate what he believed to be his Zanpakuto Spirit, a massive, shadowy jackal with wispy white eyes and an inverted triangle emitting a red light between its pointy ears.

As the jackal never allowed him to approach closer than twenty meters, Ohta stopped short of this, raising his hand and offering a curt "Yo," while the 4.5m tall canine observed him with an almost 'pouty' expression.

Exhaling a faint sigh through his nose, Ohta waited a few seconds before expressing, "You know, I can't tell why you're upset if you don't talk or try and communicate with me some other way..."

Like a tired dog throwing a tantrum, the shadowy jackal turned away from Ohta, lying its head atop its paws and exhaling a snort from its long snout.

"..."

Understanding the futility of trying to approach the shadowy beast, even with Shunpo, Ohta sat down and simply observed it in silence. According to Rukia and Yoruichi, he needed to earn its trust by overcoming a trial or coaxing it in some way, but even after weeks of trying, Ohta felt no closer to winning the damnable thing's trust...

"You know, I could really use your help..." grumbled Ohta. "Something important was taken from me. I want it back..."

Catching Ohta completely off guard, the shadowy jackal turned to face him as it asserted, "It was not taken...you relinquished it. You let others make decisions for you and must now suffer the consequences of your passivity. You are not worthy of my power..."

Furrowing his brows, Ohta argued, "If I had enough power, I wouldn't need to follow the plans of others..."

"Do you take me for a fool?" asked the shadowy jackal. "I know you better than you know yourself, John Alexander Doe. You do not seek power. You do not even possess the courage to 'live.' You merely exist, conducted by fate and the will of those you presume your superiors..."

"..."

Though he was tempted to ask what was wrong with simply existing, Ohta remained silent, locking gazes with the shadowy jackal for six full minutes before asking, "And what about you? What do you accomplish by refusing to lend me your power...?"

Without hesitation, the jackal replied, "I am your pride, the 'purpose' you have discarded. When you find me in the real world, my power will come to you naturally. Now, go. Your presence, as you are, sickens me."

"Yeah, well, you ain't exactly sunshine and rainbows yourself..." replied Ohta, rising to his feet and dusting himself off as he added, "I'll be back tomorrow..."

"And I'll be back to ignoring you," retorted the shadowy jackal, averting its eyes and exhaling a huffy, disdainful snort...

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With Yoruichi informing him that they would be departing on the 8th of August, Ohta had twenty days to prepare and gain the acknowledgment of his Zanpakuto. Unfortunately, after their previous discussion, the jackal had returned to ignoring him, covering its ears and eyes with its paws and disappearing if Ohta got too close.

"This fucking sucks..." muttered Ohta, staring at the ceiling above his bed, his motivation at an all-time low. He had gone out patrolling the previous night, but as a byproduct of the bait Uryu had used, it was expected that no Hollows would appear for weeks, maybe even months. In other words, he had nothing to take out his anger, frustration, and boredom on...

*tok* *tok* *tok*

Though he had sensed someone wandering around and walking past his apartment numerous times, Ohta didn't expect them to stop and knock on his front door. Since he was in soul form, he could easily just ignore them, but once he sensed who it was, he sat up and frowned.

*TOK* *TOK* *TOK*

After several seconds of silence, the person outside Ohta's door knocked much harder, shouting, "Hey, I know you're in there! Open up, already...!"

"I'm not in the mood for this shit..." muttered Ohta. However, despite this, he made his way to the front door, startling the person standing outside by sticking his head through and asking, "What do you want, bokukko...?"

Recovering from her initial surprise, the person standing outside, none other than Ichigo's little sister, Karin, adopted a serious expression as she replied, "My brother refused to talk, so I came here for answers. Open the door."

Exhaling a scoffing chuckle, Ohta mused, "You're a plucky little shit. I can appreciate that. But if your brother refused to explain things to you, what makes you think I will?"

"That's not the only reason I came here," revealed Karin, adopting the most serious expression she could manage as she said, "I want you to teach me. I've noticed that things seem to be getting more dangerous every day, and I don't want to have to depend on others to save me...if you hadn't shown up the other day, I would have died..."

"Unlikely," retorted Ohta, having previously learned that Yoruichi was nearby while Karin was being attacked, ready to intervene if he hadn't shown up. However, as Karin had no way of knowing that, not unless he told her, he added, "But, you're not wrong. Without power, you're fated to be a victim or a damsel in distress."

Dipping his head back inside, Ohta unlocked the door to his apartment, stepping aside as he said, "Come on in. I'll at least hear you out before telling you to fuck off."

Frowning, Karin was tempted to ask what was the point if he was just going to send her away, but she suppressed the urge and made her way inside. A sweet, somewhat musky aroma hit her nose when she stepped inside, but instead of concluding what most adults would, she gave the room a cursory inspection, remarking, "Nice place..." before setting her backpack on Ohta's desk. She didn't actually believe that, but she felt it would be rude to give her actual opinion...

Following behind Karin, Ohta said, "Start talking. You have until I finish making and drinking some hot cocoa to convince me..."

"Oh, you have hot cocoa?" asked Karin. "Make me a cup while you're at it."

Raising his brows, Ohta half-turned to give Karin an 'are you for real' look, prompting her to raise her own and question, "What? It's just a cup of hot cocoa. Do you not offer drinks to guests?"

"You're pressing your luck, boku..." muttered Ohta. However, instead of grabbing a single packet of cocoa, he grabbed two, pouring them into a pair of cups and mixing in hot water as Karin said, "Anyways, I took your advice and tried talking to Ichi-nii, but he completely blew me off. Now, he's run off to god-knows-where without telling any of us. Like, I get that he wants to keep us safe, but how does he expect to do that if he's gone and keeps us in the dark...?"

"I'm not a therapist," replied Ohta, handing Karin her cocoa as he added, "I'm also not inclined to explain things to people who have nothing to do with what's happening behind the scenes. Wanting the power to protect yourself is fine, but nosing around in shit unrelated to you is a good way to die young..."

Taking a sip from her cocoa, Karin frowned as it was more bitter than she was expecting. It didn't have a medicinal taste to it, though, so she didn't think Ohta had spiked it or anything, forcing herself to take another small sip before saying, "You say that, but I've seen your file. No one who minds their own business shows up at a family-owned clinic with cuts, puncture wounds, and bullet holes starting from when they were ten..."

Exhaling another scoffing chuckle, Ohta asserted, "You went through my medical file. Is that how you found me...?"

"My dad did you a ton of favors back in the day," said Karin. "Now, all I'm asking for is a few lessons so I can protect him, myself, and my sister. Is that so difficult...?"

Crossing his arms, Ohta didn't immediately respond to Karin's half-assed attempt at emotional blackmail. It was true that her dad, Isshin, had done him a lot of favors back in the day. However, he had made sure to pay the man for his services, depositing packets of money in their mail slot. Karin had no way of knowing that, but Ohta had long since paid his dues to the Kurosaki Clinic...

Seeing Ohta stare at her in ostensibly judgmental silence, Karin's mask of resolution began to crack. She was nervous just being in the same room as him, so her palms became sweaty, her heart racing as her fear of being turned away manifested as a suppressed panic attack...

Just as Karin looked like she was about to start crying, Ohta adopted a smile and said, "Fuck it. You want me to teach you? Sure. But whether or not you can learn anything depends on you. If you can't, don't blame me for your lack of talent."

Feeling tremendous relief, Karin exhaled a sigh that made her seem much older before adopting a pissed-off expression as she accused, "You enjoy messing with people, don't you?"

"You don't get shot in Japan without having a gift for pissing people off," replied Ohta. "Now, be specific. What, exactly, do you want me to teach you?"

"Well, what can you teach?" asked Karin. "I don't even know what's going on, so how can I know what to ask?"

"Hmmm...good point..." replied Ohta, moving over to the bookshelf Rukia had forced him to install. He still had the fairly detailed journal she wrote to explain Shinigami and the structure of Soul Society, so he tossed it at Karin, saying, "That should give you a general idea of what's going on with your brother. But don't think I'm giving it to you. Once you make a copy, I expect you to return it..."

Noticing the severity in Ohta's gaze, Karin swallowed hard and replied with a meek, "Right..." before placing the notebook in her backpack. Once done, she turned to Ohta and pointed out, "That still doesn't explain what you can teach me." in a marginally more confident tone.

"Then clear your ears and listen closely because I'm only going to say this once," said Ohta, subsequently explaining the basics of mental, spirit, and physical energy while Karin listened attentively and took notes...

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(A/N: Ichigo is not going to be happy...)