Chapter 1: Press Any Key to Start

Before we start, allow me to ask you a question: does your life have meaning? Have you given anything back to the world after spending your whole life taking things from others? Or maybe you're just some hollow shell drifting through time—a non-player character.

What about reality? Is it objective, or is it subjective? Indeed, there is an objective reality, but a subjective reality can also exist in one's mind. If one were to spend their life in a fully immersive video game, then would that game not become the player's new reality? But if reality could be whatever an individual desired, existence and non-existence are controlled by the mind.

Oh, how I wish that I lived in a different reality. One in which I didn't have to deal with the struggles of real life. One in which I could spend my days going on adventures, like in a video game.

I would give anything if I could just escape. I've had enough of everything.

Thus were the thoughts that circulated through my mind as I leaned over the bridge's railing, overlooking the deep black water that appeared like an abyss under the new moon. Every so often, I'd glance at the flickering river surface that reflected the dim lights around the shores.

Nietzche once said that when one stares into the abyss, the abyss stares back. But within the blackness below me, I saw no eyes— only emptiness. Indeed, if I were to fall in, everything would return to nothingness.

As one of my favorite songs put it simply, "It all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down."

Today wasn't the first day I considered suicide, but it was the first time I decided to take action. When there was nothing left to do at a party, the natural response would be to leave, would it not? Now that I think about it, I couldn't really relate to that analogy since I've never been invited to a party, but I hope you get the point.

It was this pre-death clarity that prevented me from jumping to my doom. Before making an important decision, I had to weigh all options against each other. It was my nature.

And so, the question plagued me: should I die?

Hamlet once said, "To be, or not to be. That is the question."

That play always struck me as hilarious, for some reason. Everything was grave and dark except for Hamlet, who I just couldn't take seriously. There was something about him that I just couldn't quite put a finger on.

But I digress.

I first questioned my existence a long time ago, but I'll start my story where it matters the most.

This was where my story truly began:

***

I was going home from school one day (I'm in eleventh grade) when a group of bullies approached me on my way out.

Ugh. Not them again.

"Look! It's cocksucking Claudia!" one of them called out.

These were the typical delinquents that you would see in any educational establishment. Some of these people could even be considered "cool kids." Of course, I was the complete opposite of cool. I had no friends, so when everyone else was socializing, I sat down in the corner and played video games or watched anime.

For the most part, people paid no mind to me, but there was a certain group who seemed to derive ecstasy from my torture.

"Eww! Look at his triple chin! And his belly is sticking all the way out!"

"Man, I can't believe how fat and gross this dude is. You know, you should really let us help you out. You could really use a glow-up, Claudia."

You heard that right. My name was Claudia. Not sure why, but my parents decided to give me a girl's name despite me being a guy. I always cringed inside whenever someone said it. Why did I have to be cursed upon my very own birth?

As I passed the bullies, I kept my gaze down and ignored them. Unfortunately, one of the boys grabbed my shoulder and yanked me back.

I turned to face the person who grabbed me. At first glance, his build appeared overweight, and there was the reminiscent mark of a double chin that used to exist. Still, he was ripped. He could probably raise me in the air with one arm. On top of that, he stood with the charisma and confidence of a natural-born leader.

For a moment, everyone was silent. I could hear the boy's breathing, and he could hear mine. We were close enough that I could see my own reflection in his eyes.

My line of thought came to a spiraling halt when a hammer struck my face, sending me flying into the grass. At least, it felt like a hammer. I was sure that it was just the boy's fist, but it was almost as if solid iron had slammed into my jaw, leaving my nerves in utter shock.

"Let's go guys," the boy said, beckoning everyone to follow.

The gang's leader didn't say anything else. Even the other delinquents were speechless. Usually, they would only insult me, or lightly shove me around, but today, it seemed like their leader was in an abrasive mood.

What a pain.

That was the only thing that crossed my mind at that moment. Even amidst my injury, I stood up and ignored the aching. Physical pain was nothing compared to the pain that I felt inside me every day.

And so, I crossed the school's parking lot and followed a path that merged into the sidewalk. I walked straight until I arrived at my subdivision. By now, the summer sun was taking its toll on me, so I took a water break to replenish my lost fluids. After that, I continued the rest of the way until I arrived home.

I was one of the many people that lived within walking distance of the school. Everyone else went to the car line or took buses. My parents often worked late, so if my house wasn't this close, I'd have to take the bus.

I shuddered at the thought. I don't know if it was just me, but public transportation was terrifying.

Once I made it to the front door of my house, I took my keys from my pocket and entered. My dad was home, and he was watching the television, but it didn't look like my mom had returned yet. I kicked off my shoes and wordlessly crossed the living room, peering at the show that was playing. It was some romance drama, and there appeared to be a sex scene going on. I cast a glance at my dad to see that he was enamored with the screen as if he were under the spell of hypnosis.

Whack.

Then again, who was I to call out another person for being that way? I get turned on by 2D characters, so I was no better.

I sighed and walked into my room, dumping my backpack on the corner. I had homework today, but my grades could tank a zero, so there was no point in doing any assignments. Immediately, I plopped my ass down on my chair and booted up my PC. I clicked on a witch hat icon on the lower-left of my desktop, starting up my favorite MMORPG, Serial Slain.

The loading screen expanded, taking up the entirety of my monitor, and I was met with the title screen. In the background, there was an animation that depicted the game's characters as they fought in daring battles against demons and monsters.

Small text in the center read, "press any key to start."

To fight monsters...to get new gear...and to climb the leaderboards.

Playing Serial Slain was paradise.

It was just past 4 o'clock, so I had ample time to grind the newest dungeons.

Serial Slain, an open-world MMORPG, was the world's number one video game with millions of players all around the world, and it was released about two decades ago.

I've been playing it my whole life.

The gameplay involved typical hack-and-slash mechanics, but the complex enemies and combo system made for an unexpectedly high skill ceiling.

The game also had a main story quest, but there was still a plethora of endgame content after defeating the final boss. On top of that, the developers in Telemachus Technologies brought updates all the time, keeping everything fresh.

After the thousands of hours I've spent improving my craft, I've risen through the leaderboards, finally making it to the top five in the North American server.

I wasn't particularly talented; I just played this game so much that I eventually got pretty good.

An individual's ranking was calculated by the number of enemies that they have defeated, in addition to the difficulty of the said enemies.

Every month, the leaderboards would also reset, so everyone would have to grind their score again, encouraging competitiveness.

It was no exaggeration to say that this game was my life's work.

Upon logging in, my avatar spawned just outside the adventurer's guild, the location in which one could accept quests. The gamertag on top of my character read "AtomicWorm."

Next, I opened a new tab on my computer, went to a video game chatting site, and joined the voice channel on my server.

There were only two members on the server: a user by the name of Grace_221006 and me. She was already in the voice channel before me.

"Hi!" she said.

"Yo," I replied. "You trying to do the new dungeon?"

"Yeah, sure! I've already fought it once, so I can show you the ropes."

"Cool. What loadout should I use?"

"Um, you should probably go with some debuff resistance and high defense. As for a weapon, you're a Paladin-class, so you should have all the holy damage you need."

"Yeah," I said. "If push comes to shove, I'll also run a healer set-up."

"Good idea. We might need that."

Ah, yes, the beauty of the Paladin-class. As a melee-type brawler, its DPS is subpar compared to others, but it could also fill the simultaneous role of support, applying buffs or heals to allies.

Other than the Paladin, there were five other classes: Warrior, Rogue, Mage, Cleric, and Archer. They're pretty self-explanatory if you've played other RPGs, but I'll give you a quick run-down.

The warrior provided high melee damage, but they could also play the role of a tank, and they had access to mounts (riding animals).

The rogue usually relied on stealth skills and debuffs, and it had the potential to do the highest burst damage in the game.

The mage was the typical ranged class, but because of the hundreds of spells, it could fit any role in a party.

The cleric was a class that almost solely focused on support. Other than that, there wasn't much else to say.

Finally, there was the archer class, which was mainly a ranged damage dealer. Like the warrior, they could also ride mounts.

With a few button clicks, I switched to my preset healer loadout, which allowed my character to regenerate the HP of adjacent allies every time I hit an enemy, in addition to multiple passives that increase my support efficacy. I didn't have any pieces of gear that provided good debuff resistance, so I kept my loadout as it was.

As for Grace, she was an archer class, and she was running the popular sniper set-up, which maximized the damage from critical hits.

Now that we were both ready, we fast-traveled to the continent of Enfernius and entered the dungeon titled "The Ninth Circle."

The maximum amount of members in a party was five, so when Grace and I entered, we were paired up with a three-person party: a cleric with a burst heal set-up, a mage with a debuff/DPS loadout, and a warrior who was running a tank build.

We each exchanged greetings.

Before the fight could start, there was a short cutscene. Everyone else skipped it, but I sent a message in the chat saying that I wanted to watch the animation, and I apologized for making everyone wait for me.

The cutscene depicted us five as we walked into an ancient colosseum with scattered rubble and torn-down walls. In the middle, a little boy was sitting down and playing with some pebbles. As we approached, he glanced at us with an innocent expression.

Once we got closer, the boy's face contorted into a horrific smile, as if some puppeteer was using strings to pull the flesh.

Suddenly, the boy's jaw snapped open, and a demonic centipede with a cobra's head burst forth. Its body was as long as nine buses and as thick as a small shack—much too large to fit in the little boy's body.

But even as the centipede slithered around, the boy's body was dragged along the ground like the end of a rattlesnake's tail. All through the colosseum, the sound of clacking resounded as its hundreds of legs scuttled about.

After encircling us, the centipede raised its frontal body and opened its hood, revealing glowing red runes. It let out a deafening roar, and at that, the cutscene zoomed out, allowing me to resume control of my character.

A health bar appeared on the top of the screen with a caption that read the monster's name: Dezastre.

"What's the plan here?" I asked Grace.

"It's simple: back up our warrior as he aggros the Dezastre. The cleric should be staying back to support me and the mage."

"So it's just like any other boss fight?"

"Yeah," Grace said. "But you gotta watch out for the—"

Before she could finish her sentence, the Dezastre sent a line of goo in my direction, immobilizing my entire body.

"What the hell is this?!"

"Yeah, that was what I wanted to warn you about," Grace said.

The enemy's attack barely had any start-up, so I couldn't react. It was an almost instantaneous spray. Luckily, the cleric threw a freezing potion in my direction, solidifying the goo and allowing me to shatter my way to freedom.

"Sorry guys," I typed into the game chat.

"It's fine," the warrior said. "But I could use some healing right now."

"Alright. I got you."

I returned to the frontlines and fought alongside the warrior. My passive healing was usually sufficient, but if the warrior took a major hit, I activated my skill "Heavenly Rejuvenation," which provided a burst heal, along with a ten-second damage and defense boost.

Once I got used to the fight's mechanics, it wasn't too difficult. After about sixteen minutes, the Dezastre was at ten percent health, and Grace activated her special attack: the Heart Render, sending an arrow coated with black smoke and crimson lighting.

Upon impact, the Dezastre exploded, sending a cascade of insect flesh and innards.

At that, the victory screen popped up, and there was an option to do the fight again.

I looked at the loot that I got, but unfortunately, I didn't get the one item I wanted, so I pressed the rematch button.

"Let's do this again," I said.

"Sure," Grace replied. "I really want to get the Dezastre gem so that I can craft its weapon."

"Same. The chances of getting the gem are low, so I hope we don't get too unlucky."

"Yeah."

And so, the squad stayed together for the rest of the night, grinding the fight for hours straight. By midnight, the other party members had already obtained the Dezastre gem, so they logged off, sending us a "GGs" message. Unfortunately, Grace and I couldn't get a single gem.

"I'm kinda tired now, so I'll head out for today," Grace said.

"Alright. I'll see you whenever."

"See you too, Claudia."

She knew my name because we've been friends for so long; it was only natural.

And so, I got off and went to bed without changing my clothes or taking a shower.