Never Yours

I wanted to cry but, no tears would form. Frustation, insecurity, anxiety, fear, confusion, and anger. Those bottled up feelings were lingering my chest as I struggle to keep my breathing. My emotions keep swirling like a brewing storm as snippets of memory surges. They say after crying, one would feel lighter. How I wish I could force myself to cry to vent all this. I am so sad. I am also mad. I am sadmad. I reached for my phone and checked the time. It's past 2 in the morning. My breathing is slowly becoming more even. Regaining some my strength, I stood up from the bed and head outside the room. I was so light headed that I didn't notice that my feet lead me to the rooftop. The urban skyline is brimming with lights. Even though it was beautiful, I was more attracted to the night sky. It so quiet and serene. Staring at the vast sky, stars were twinkling as if conversing some morse code. I sigh at deep though. "I wish. I wish I can cry." I wishpered so soflty that even the God's may not hear it. 'Be careful what you wish for' I heard someone murmured but I could not catch the words. I seached for another person but found none. Suddenly, gust of cold wind blew so quickly that my last saved up strenght was taken away. I reached for the sky when my consciousness is slowly fading away.