Naruto : Alexithymia

Whenever I think of my heart, in non-medical terms but in terms of that space where it is believed that all kinds of feelings are housed, I imagine mine as a small glass container that holds a small light inside.

A light that if I feel happy expands and radiates beyond the glass that contains it and if I feel sad it gradually fades, but never to the brink of extinction. A light that, also depending on the specific feeling, changes color, for example, pink and radiant when I am embarrassed, white when I am calm, blue when I feel sad and depending on how sad or happy I am, the gradient of its color changes.

Imagining myself almost on the brink of feeling this light inside me is what makes me feel alive and in turn motivates me not to give up and move forward despite the nuances of its colors.

But then three words.

"You're really annoying"

Then a profanity in the deepest part of my heart, the glass broke and the light turned into darkness and was lost in a void of the same color.

Sakura jumped up, barely opening her eyes she noticed that her surroundings had cleared, the darkness had gone and the sky showed orange hues, symbol of the imminent conclusion of the day.

The wreckage of the war was evident and not only that, the buds hanging from the tree remained, which gave her an idea that that "problem" had not yet been resolved and her friends, as well as the rest of the alliance, were still trapped in a kind of illusion.

"Did you already wake up?"

She heard a voice near her, it was her teacher

"Umm... Naruto... and...?" It was difficult for her to pronounce the other name, something in her chest hit her with pain.

"They are probably still resolving their problems in a final fight..."

Sakura hung her head, yes, of course... it was more than clear.

"Are you okay? You don't seem to have any side effects of the genjutsu." Kakashi said, remembering his own experiences.

"I'm fine." the kunoichi responded in a neutral voice.

At the request of her teacher, they went to look for Naruto and Sasuke after an abrupt interruption of their chakra, indicating that the fight had ended and perhaps with an unpleasant ending, but when they both found them at the bottom of the cliff of the valley of the end, they were wrong.

Stopping holding her wounded sensei, the girl asked for permission with her gaze to go to them. He only nodded, giving her the opportunity to reunite with her teammates.

Sakura descended and landed in front of them, seeing with melancholy only the injury of the blonde ninja, of the other person who was beside him, it was hard for her to see him, but she had already seen from the heights that he was in the same condition.

Then, she extended her hands to both and began to emit that green chakra to heal them. She was a doctor after all, that was her job.

"Thanks Sakura chan." Naruto expressed with a relieved smile.

"At least he's in a good mood" she thought, trying not to be distracted from her work, but then...

"Sakura, I..."

Was he talking to her?

Her hands trembled with terror, causing an almost imperceptible interruption in the flow of her chakra.

"Be quiet, I need to concentrate." she asked him in a neutral voice.

She wasn't seeing him, but she could feel the weight of that powerful and terrifying gaze on her and she was starting to get distracted, when...

"Sorry."

"Sorry?" Did she hear right? And yes she did, what was she supposed to do with that? What was she supposed to say to him?

She didn't respond.

She tried to find what to say inside, but where she could imagine a light before, now she only found a dark and infinite space. She couldn't feel anything, and especially not for him.

In reality, he was still waiting for a response with an expression on his face that she had never seen before.

"Sorry for what?" was the only thing that came out of her mouth, without even seeing him.

"For everything."

"Okay."

And that was it, she couldn't say anything else, but by the smile she saw on Naruto, it seemed that she had said enough at least to make him happy.

Finishing the healing, as they used to be as children, she was ignored and she was left behind watching as they dispelled the Tsukuyomi in an apparently happy ending.

All her friends and the alliance had returned and were happy, but Sakura still didn't know what to feel, she didn't feel happy like the rest of the people, she didn't feel anything at all.