17th March 2021

#Journal Entry: My Birthday

Today was my seventeenth birthday. But it didn't feel like one. It felt like any other day. A day of loneliness, sadness and emptiness.

I woke up to no messages, no calls, no gifts. No one remembered. Not even my parents. They were too busy with their work and their problems. They didn't even look at me when I came downstairs for breakfast. They just muttered a quick "good morning" and went back to their phones and laptops.

I tried to act like it didn't bother me. I tried to smile and pretend everything was fine. I tried to make myself a cake and blow out the candles. I tried to sing "Happy Birthday" to myself. But it was all fake. It was all hollow. It was all meaningless.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, scrolling through social media and watching Netflix. I saw pictures of my friends having fun, celebrating their birthdays, hanging out with their boyfriends or girlfriends, living their best lives. And I felt so alone. So left out. So forgotten.

I wished someone would text me, call me, visit me, hug me, tell me they care about me, tell me they love me. But no one did. No one does.

I don't know why I'm writing this. Maybe because I have no one else to talk to. Maybe because I need to vent out my feelings. Maybe because I hope someone will read this someday and understand me.

But I doubt it.

I doubt anyone will ever read this.

I doubt anyone will ever understand me.

I doubt anyone will ever love me.

Today was my birthday.

But it was the worst day of my life.