Love On Chaos

"Have you ever felt, the tightening of your heart in losing your love one? Thank goodness I haven't , yet."

Said Thea in her mind.

Does it really hurt? Being left out by the person you love? Good thing   and I won't lose each other, I know it, since we only have each other, no other.

Granddad had an affair, while I on the other hand was left by the only father I knew, he went to the U. S. so that he can give me a comfortable life, but little did I know, he already has his own family there, don't pity me, I don't consider it a lost though, they are my stepping stone, to be strong, brave, confident, independent, and that is me today, but again, I have my grandmother, and that is enough, more than enough actually, she had been there for me, she took care of me, fed me, sheltered me from harm, and above all, she has always, always been proud of me, Anthea Lyn Czeisler Espiritu.

Today 5th of June, my first day in senior year, in few years time, I'll graduate, find a job and make Gradgie the proudest granny in the world . I promised her that my success is her success and I can't wait for that day

After I took a bathe, I went downstairs and the brightest smile looked upon me, her smile, my grandmother, Gradgie's smile. "Good morning Gradgie!" yeah, I call her without the word "Gran'" its not disrespectful for us, so yeah. "Good morning Thea!" she replied and we had breakfast filled with smiles and joy.

On my way to school I finally had an answer to my question last night, I had my simple answer, yes I will be hurt , who wont be, you lost someone you love, meaning to say you lost a vital part in your life, but I come to realize, they wont leave us, they will remain in a very special way, maybe in a memory, faith, smiles and destiny

Here I am, stepping through the gates of my school and there stands my best friend , just right next to the shed. Catherine Bridget Santos.

She had been my sister by spirit in highschool until now. She is this kind, brave, I would say crazy, idiot,clumsy, but she was there, in times I need her. "What's up pretty lady?" I laughed at that "Hey!!! Its senior year!"we did our secret hand shake and head off to our classroom, and thank god we're in the same section whoo-hoo. 

As our first day of school began , what our adviser did first of course is orientation and introduction to ourselves then, the class officer started, I'm nervous, I almost forgot Catherine wanted me as class muse wtf, oh Lord I hope she forgot. We started the nomination and here we it goes, Cath raised her hand "Yes miss Santos?" our adviser said, "I nominate ms. Anthea Lyn Espiritu for muse ma'am"

oh boy.

the voting started and unfortunantely, I won, I hate you Cath

"Why did you do this to me Cath? I mean, why me? I don't look like a muse, I don't know how to move like one, I mean look at me" Catherine rolled her eyes and said. "You know what Czeisler,You are gorgeous as hell, you are so alluring in anything you wear trust me, I'm Catherine, I'm always right"

yeah right

I took out a long sigh and spoke "Let's say that I am beautiful, but I don't know these things, What if Mrs. Reyes wanted me to join the pageant, what will I do huh? You know I don't like those stuffs. "

yep that's me, I prefer jeans than dresses, rubber shoes than heels, book rather than boys, instruments than make up.

Thea said in her mind. 

Its five o'clock in the evening when I got home and no Gradgie welcomed me, that's unusual , not until Gradgie showed up wearing an elegant deep magenta night gown and, my mouth opened a bit, Gradgie is wow, she's—nevermind, at the age of 65, she rocks what she wears, she really is my granny at that, I am so blessed I got my beauty on her "Gradgie, what are you wearing?" She rolled her eyes at me

and said. "Are your eyes starting to get blurry my Thea?" She said sarcastically "I mean, why are you wearing that??" She smiled at me "We are going out" I looked at her and said "How about my cats??"

Yes I do have cats, five to be exact, Ginger a Himalayan Cat , Snow a Snowshoe Cat,Bell a Siberian Cat, and Fleur a stray cat,

Yes a stray but I don't care about the breed, its just, I found Fleur in a garbage bag, dirty, and a total mess, and it breaks my heart seeing her like that, so I adopted her. 

"I already fed them Thea so, go change and be beautiful, actually I already prepared what you're going to wear, so just do the other things." I smiled at Gradgie, she always take care of me, no matter how old I am already, I smiled and said "Give me and hour tops."

As I look at myself in the mirror, I wanted to admit that I am beautiful but, I am not boastful, I really am beautiful,right? I glanced at the dress I'll be wearing on the bed and wonder where or why do I have such dress, I do have dresses, but I don't recall having this one.

I went downstairs and Gradgie gave me a beautiful smile, a smile I can't resist to do so too. "You looked so wonderful in my dress Thea" This is Gradgie's dress?! No wonder its alluring "So this is yours huh?" She nodded. "So where are we going to eat?" I asked. "At your Auntie Charlene's fancy restaurant, that's why we are wearing these, obviously, so shall we ?" She asked "We shall, Gradgie"

While we are on are way to Auntie Charlene's, I was driving and Gradgie started singing her favorite song.

And that is how our drive went, Gradgie singing and I was singing too, in a low voice. And it feels good, like nothing in the world is wrong it's just peace, nothing else.

When we arrived at the restaurant, people are looking at me. They are stunned, am I really that beautiful?

Or maybe it's the dress.

Then a woman walking towards our way suddenly spoke.

"You look so gorgeous" She said

I smiled and said

"Thank you"

Then Gradgie and I had dinner.

And I am blessed to have my grandmother's breathtaking beauty