19

I grabbed a cup from the table and downed it. Then I grabbed another one and went right out into God's air. It seemed darker than before, but not as dark as my mood. My joy and fun had only lasted a good two hours. I wanted to hurt someone. Mostly Christian. I let out a breath I wasn't even aware I was holding. I willed myself to breathe as my hands shook, head hurt.

All I could think was, why? I thought we were good. He called me every night, and I talked to him all day. When in the hell did he have a chance to cheat? I couldn't believe after all this time he was still fucking with that thing. I had been a long time since I was this angry at Christian. Just like every other time, I felt sick. I wanted to throw up so badly.

The last year had been tough. We went through a lot of crap. There had been a lot of times when people had confided in me and looked to me for answers. Why? I did not know, but it was becoming more natural to me. There were a lot of times when I wasn't sure of anything. The one thing I was sure of was Christian. Christian and I had become closer, or so I thought. We rarely argued, and we talked about everything. That must have been all smoke. I was sure they didn't just hookup tonight, they were too comfortable in my friend's basement. It took everything in me not hit that chick in her throat. Oh, how I wanted to. I wanted to break her fucking face.

I walked across the street to my porch and sat down. The bastard wasn't even coming after me. I hope he is happy with that hoe because that's who he was with, as far as I was concerned. I had run into that chic one too many times and each time it was his fault. So happy I didn't let him get the cookies. He was a lost cause. A serial cheater.

I stood up as a car pulled over in front of me. I smiled when the window rolled down and I saw my big cousin. Her name was Sara, and she was crazy as hell. She was twenty one, and she had a beautiful little girl. She was a little on the wild side. She and I had the fight for dominance earlier this year and I guess I won. Ever since she treated me like I was on her level. She was my sister cousin, and I looked up to her.

Her friend was another story. She seemed quiet and reserved. She was one of Dale's girls, but I didn't like her. She kept saying she was pregnant by Dale and wasn't showing at all yet. That was six months ago. Not to mention, whenever I hung out with Sara, she drank and smoked weed. That bitch wasn't pregnant. I told Dales that and he hunched his shoulders and said he didn't care either way. A bitch who will lie about that, would lie about anything. Her name was Camilla. I wasn't sure if she knew I didn't like her. She should know, though, since I didn't hide it at all.

"Now what is the birthday girl doing siting outside, looking mad when there is a whole party going on around the corner?" Sara asked.

"Not really feeling the party anymore, cuzz?" I said, standing to walk into my cousin's embrace.

"Happy birthday, cuzzo," She said as she pressed a C-Note in my hand, "Tell me who did it and ill fuck em up."

I laughed even though I was still angry. "Thanks, cuzzo, for the gift and the offer, but I'm good."

I stepped back and put the money in my bra. I looked at my cousin and I knew she knew why I was mad. She didn't like him. She knew about all the stupid things he had done over the last few years. She thought I was too good for him. Every time I got mad at Christian, she begged me to leave him. Every time I didn't have it in me. The bond we had was deeper than anyone could understand. Even now, I wanted to not be mad. I reached down and held onto that anger.

Sara frowned, then smiled. "What if I said I know where a better party is? One that's jumping just as hard as this one?"

This is why I loved this chick. She always knew how to cheer me up. Unfortunately, I had told my mom that I wouldn't leave the block and she was the only person I was scared of on this earth. I would not cross the crazy lady.

"Naw cuzz, I got to keep an eye on my brothers." I said, stepping back.

"Then all we have to do is find you a babysitter," She turned to Camilla, who was sitting in the car and asked, "Ain't you pregnant? You can babysit."

I laughed at my cousin and before I could hear Camilla's reply, I looked up and saw Christen approaching. He looked like a man on a mission. I really, really didn't want to talk to him, especially in front of Sara. She might draw blood if she figured out what happened. I looked at Sara too late. She had already seen him. Here we go.

But she smiled at Christian, and before he could get to me, Sara blocked him. He looked like he wanted to hit her.

"Hey Chris, what you doing?" Sara asked?

"Trying to talk to my girl," he growled, trying to get past her again.

Sara blocked him again. "She was just coming to ask you if you could watch the boys while we go downtown to the riverfront."

"No," he said, never taking his eyes from me.

"Well, it's her birthday," Sara said, looking into his eyes, "and seeing as you done fucked up her party, you should be able to do that one tiny thing."

"I didn't know it was her party!" Christian yelled.

"Well, how the hell can you call her your girl, then?" Sara shook her head. "If you don't even know what she doing for her birthday."

"I had to help my mom move," he said, calming down.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what you were doing." Sara said, pointing her finger in his face.

"Enough," I yelled. They both stopped and looked at me. I looked at Christian. "So you going to watch the boys or what?" I asked.

He looked dumb found. "We need to talk, Anna." His eyes were pleading with me to give him what he wanted. The wounds were too fresh. He never really let it heal before he was cutting the same scar again. Not tonight.

"We will talk when I get back." I said as I walked up to him. Lord, I wanted to smack him so hard. I wanted to ring his fucking neck. "If you watch the boys. I need to unwind and as pretty as you are, I really don't want to be around you right now"

He looked at me hard. Those eyes I loved looking into, so full of sorrow. Worst of all, he knew me, he knew I wanted revenge. My patience for his bullshit was chipping away to none, and he knew it. He held up one finger. "You get one night Anna, get it out of your system and come home, and we will talk, and we ain't breaking up. Please leave the strays where you find them. You know I'll kill him with no remorse."

I looked across the street then and saw Terrance standing there. He looked like he wanted to intervene. I shook my head slightly, hoping he could see that small action in the dark. Terrance nodded his head one time and turned on his heels and went back to the party.

"Tony is at Miss Angles," I said.

Christian walked past me and into my house. I couldn't stand him, but when he talked like that, the butterflies surfaced every time. I smirked. Guess I better get my revenge tonight. He didn't sound like he was going to want to deal with this issue tomorrow. Truth be told, I didn't want to deal with it at all.