In The Eyes of the Beholder

"I'm so excited!" Kaia signed with her fingers. Her dark brown hair danced in the wind as she twirled, blue dress swaying with her every movement.

She is going to turn nineteen in just a few minutes and with the letter from her dream university in hand.

She was at the rooftop with her friend, Dawn, who also got her letter from the same university. They promised to open it together on her birthday. So they went to their favourite hangout that night, an unfinished building in the corner of the city.

"Careful! You'll fall off." Dawn grabbed on to her arm just as she teetered off the edge.

"Sorry." She signed. "I'm just too excited."

"Me too . . . Hey, remember the announcement they made throughout the town today?" Dawn asked, sitting down on the edge of the concrete building, overlooking the town. She stared at the giant holographic clock that hung over the town.

"Which one?" She signed, sitting beside her.

"The one about how a person can get another's lifespan if they killed them."

"Oh~ That. You believe it?" She asked, teasingly.

"No! I mean. Wouldn't that be kind of neat? That way you have a longer lifespan and can use it to improve yourself without losing that much of your lifespan."

"Even if it is true. Will you be okay killing someone?" She asked, thinking about it.

"What about you? From what people have been saying, don't you want to change?" She pointed to her friend's face, irritated.

Kaia touched the lumps that covered her entire face, smiling a little. "No. Not really. Mum always told me that this is what made me beautiful, so I don't want to change."

"How many people are saying that to you now?"

The smile on Kaia's face faltered. Ever since the death of her mother, her good-for-nothing father has been anything but helpful. Her mother only ever saw her face as beautiful, while everyone else around her made fun of her for it all her life.

She got glances from people wherever she went. Some pitied her. Others became happy after seeing her. Worst were the people that believed that she required fixing, so they take it upon themselves to 'encourage' her to get her face altered.

"Apart from being mute, she also has to look like that."

"How does someone as naturally beautiful as he mother was, give birth to someone like her?"

"It will take more than forty years of her life to make her attractive. But isn't it better lose some of your life, rather than living . . . like that?"

But her mother's words always ring in her head.

"Beauty is only skin deep, what makes people like you is your personality."

"Your face will fade one day. What will you have then?"

So while everyone else became busy fixing their outward appearance, she worked inwardly, securing one of the highest scores in the Eastern Hemisphere. She survived only because of the scholarships she got, but even then, she was never given the spotlight. Her pictures remained blank, with just her name there.

The higher she went into classes, the more she couldn't recognize her classmates, even if they knew each other from kindergarten. At first, it was subtle changes on their faces; a mole they didn't like or their hair colour. Then by the tenth standard, they altered their face structures and even eye colour, body shapes, and skin tone.

They were exchanging years of their life for opportunities and she really couldn't judge them for that. She, herself, lost more and more opportunities every year because they didn't want her to be the one representing her school.

That didn't bother her much at first, as she held her mother's words very dearly, seeing the truth in them. But now, she wasn't so sure.

Years of everyone telling the same thing to her, that she wouldn't make it out there if she didn't do anything about her appearance slowly seeped into her subconscious.

She worried if what her mother had said was true or not because only those that were attractive got it all. No matter how hard she worked, she was pushed to the back.

But Dawn saw past her appearance and accepted her for who she was, so that gave her hope that there are more people like Dawn and, maybe, like her too. She just had to find them.

Kaia smiled again, "I don't mind. Anyway, I'm not going to kill someone just to be able to change my face."

"That sounds so much like you." Dawn laughed bitterly. "Even with all you've been through, you stayed the same. I didn't care at first either, but I've ready lost five years of my life just fixing up this face and it's still nothing compared to those living in the main city."

"What? You have a beautiful face and you've got something most people don't have - a beautiful soul." When Dawn didn't respond, she continued, "To be honest, many times I think of it . . . changing my appearance that is."

"You expect me to believe that? Aren't you miss 'appearance fades with time, so why change'?" She scoffed at her.

"I guess so. But right now, I've gotten the letter from my dream college and I have the nicest friend I could ever ask for. My life is complete. Mostly because you're in it." She beamed.

I just wish they were here too.

"Yeah. Just stay as you are. I hope you never change." Dawn said just as the clock chimed.

"It's midnight!"

"Happy nineteenth birthday!" Dawn embraced Kaia and gave her a box.

"What is it?"

"Open it!"

With unsteady hands, she pulled the ribbon away and opened the box to see a variety of cookies, neatly arranged by type.

Kaia gasped. "You made all these? For me?"

"Of course. Try one! Choco chip cookies are your favourite." Dawn took a cookie and held it in front of Kaia's lips.

Kaia took a big bite of the cookie, savouring the chocolate and the texture of the dough as it melted in her mouth. She makes really good cookies.

Though not as good as . . .

She shook her head, she could think of that later on.

"Oh! Do you know? You should open a bakery!" She signed, chocolate staining the side of her lips. "I can help."

"Maybe." She laughed and wiped the corner of her mouth. "Come, let's open our letters."

"Ok." She covered the box again and placed it just beside her. "Ready?"

"Aren't you worried that you might not get in? Since, you know . . . you're-" Dawn suddenly asked.

"Not really. This university says that they base their students on their abilities, not their appearance. The question should be on why they chose to send it through the mail."

"But they asked for a picture. And I think they still want to be a little old school.

"Don't all institutes do that? It is exciting to get a letter in the mailbox though."

". . . Yeah. Ok, let's open. In the count of three. One. Two. Three."

They ripped the envelope open and took out the letter, reading it with bated breath.

Kaia's face fell after reading the letter, she turned to Dawn whose face lit up, then became solemn.

"So?" She signed.

"I . . . I think I got in." Dawn jumped to her feet, holding the letter close to her chest. But she still looked a little uneasy. "What about you?"

"I didn't." Kaia grinned, showing her letter. "They said that I didn't meet the 'required' qualifications."

Dawn hung her head, looking over the ledge to the city below them. At this time, it looks like the town is deserted.

"But don't worry, I'll come up with something. It's so good that you got in. Congratulations!" She clapped her hands together.

When she still didn't respond Kaia tapped on her shoulders.

"Are you ok?" Kaia asked as she stumbled a little in her step almost slipping off the edge again.

Dawn quickly grabbed her by her shoulders, squeezing them. "Thank the heavens!" She looked up at her grinning.

"Dawn?" Her vision blurred as she tried to steady herself, she is still a little at the edge and with Dawn's iron grip, and she couldn't push her away. She felt a little scared of her at the moment.

"You have been so painfully optimistic that I began to worry that you might get in. But just as I predicted, you didn't. Not with that face of yours anyway." She began murmuring away, completely oblivious to Kaia's position at the moment.

Kaia blinked her eyes, unable to keep them focused when everything around her was spinning. She was too close to the edge.

"Everyday people asked why I am friends with you and no matter how much I tried to push you away, you wouldn't go away. Still coming to me even if I don't talk to you for months. How dense could you have been?"

She pushed her closer and closer to the edge as she continued to talk. "What are y-?"

"No! I had to learn sign language; because of you. People ostracized me; because of you. And you. You wouldn't leave me alone. They all associated me with you because of how much you stuck by me. Even after I used ten years of my life to look like this, you were still there."

"Dawn. I had no idea what you-"

"Of course you don't! It's always been only about you! That's all you ever focused on! Do you know how frustrating it is to see the ugly outcast still able to get the highest marks in the entire Eastern Hemisphere? While I was . . . just there."

"Dawn. I am so sorry. I didn't know you had to suffer this much because of me. Let's get off this ledge and talk about it calmly, ok?" Kaia blinked her eyes, trying to see past the black spots that took over her vision.

"This time . . . This time! I beat you! Me! I did that!"

"That you did, Dawn. Good job." Kaia genuinely smiled at her, but this seemed to only anger her more and something clicked in her.

"Well. I haven't exactly gotten in yet." She stepped back, releasing her grip on Kaia. The moment she released her hand, Kaia felt unsteady as she landed on the ledge on her knees.

"I thought you said that you got in?" She looked up with one eye open.

"I said that but they told me that if I could only alter my appearance a little bit more, they'll accept me." She extended her hand to Kaia, helping her up.

"That's ridiculous." She leaned against Dana's shoulder, eyes heavy-lidded.

"I know right? Still, I want it so badly. So I've come up with a solution?"

"So soon." She used her free hand to touch her forehead, everything felt like she was underwater.

"Yup. Since I made your miserable life complete, you wouldn't mind right?"

"Wha-"

Before she could comprehend anything she felt a push and in a second, she was falling off the ledge.

"Weren't the cookies tasty?"

The last thing Kaia saw was the brilliant lights twinkling from her little town. The town that rejected her existence, how could it look so pretty right now?

At least she'll get to see them again now.

She gave a bitter smile as her head collided with the pavement.