Transmigration

I have lived for a… long time. I can't exactly say how it happened, or when it started for that matter, all I know is that no matter what I do I just cannot die. The only thing that is a fact is that I have been stuck in this prison most call a body for centuries. I cannot age, I cannot burn; as long as there is at least one cell left of my body I can regenerate, even a portion of a cell works fine as far as I know.

I have tried everything, from jumping off of fucking Mount Everest, to throwing myself into a volcano, nothing works, all it does is hurt… a lot. It took me a few decades to escape from that damn lava. I did it with a lot of swimming and digging.

I don't really need to eat or drink, or sleep, since it doesn't really kill me. The only thing it does is give me, you know, every other symptom of extreme dehydration or hunger possible. Dizziness, fatigue, unbearable stomach pains, black-outs… shall I go on?

Oh! My least favorite attempt at dying would be when I strapped myself to an iron anchor and dropped myself over the Mariana Trench! I sank for like a day and when I finally made it to the bottom my body was constantly getting crushed over and over again due to the water-pressure, and my lungs constantly screamed in pain while my eyes and organs exploded.

Yeah, I climbed out like that.

It got so ridiculous that it became a sort of game. The most wondrous thing is when some dude created the internet. It solved my boredom, since I had already tried every occupation and read every book imaginable. The videos, the games, the sheer amount of IDEAS the human mind can come up with when given the question of the most creative ways you could kill a man.

None of those ideas worked, mind you. Trust me, I tried.

And that brings me to present day, watching Netflix on my iPhone with headphones on while strolling down the streets of New York City. Surprisingly, being here since basically the dawn of humanity has its perks, like having a massive amount of influence among various countries and organizations.

I don't rule the world, but I get most my stuff for free and have pretty much an in exhaustible amount of money, so yay for immortality! Just kidding. I am currently watching this series 'Tiger King.'

It's one of the few things I haven't seen and let me tell you, it's… weird. I think I'll try to meet up with this guy some time. He seems… fun. Oh! And yes, I am definitely heterosexual. I tried it once with a guy… never again. That was random, but a fact you need to know.

Anyways, I'm walking down the busy New York sidewalks, watching Netflix, like you do, when suddenly, Dio hit me with a truck.

…

JUST KIDDING!

A subway came crashing out of the ground and smashed into me. I flew around twenty feet and fell straight into an uncovered manhole. What perfect aim! What perfect form! Whoever is driving the subway train is truly a master at the art of using subway trains to smash people into uncovered manholes randomly! Someone give this man an Oscar!

Why an Oscar? Because I said so. Yes. I can do that.

…

I fell through the manhole cover but instead of ending up in the disgusting sewage of the New York sewers, and most likely getting mauled by an alligator, I instead hit dry earth.

"Huh?" I exclaimed as I sat up, brushing off the dust my tuxedo. Looking around, I seemed to be on a dirt road surrounded by trees. Haven't seen one of these in ages, now they're all pavement I think. Looking down, I saw my phone… with a crushed screen! Dammit! I picked it up and threw it into the shrubbery before looking around.

"Where the hell am I? Wasn't I just in New York?" I muttered to myself as I started pacing back and forth along the dirt road. "I've been through much worse, but falling in a manhole after getting hit by a subway in the middle of New York City and somehow ending up in the middle of a forest road is probably up there in the most crazy things to happens to me.

I heard rustling from my right and looked over, expecting to see some sort of deer or something. But what came out of the shadowed forest made me really confused. "Terry?! I thought you died a million years ago!!! What the fuck are you doing here!" I screamed, running up and hugging the leg of the massive dinosaur-thingy.

It honestly looked like a bi-pedal lobster, with large, armored arms that resembled that of a gorilla. It also had two red stringy things coming from the sides of its mouth and equally red eyes.

Another odd thing about this weird creature is that it looked EXACTLY the same as my old pet, Terry. We used to hunt and eat other dinosaurs together. Ah… The good ol' days…

However, this was also reminding me of something else… but what?

Suddenly a carriage with two armored men on board rolled up to the scene. The two men were screaming like babies while I was standing in front of the still confused monster, pondering where I have seen this before.

The monster regained its senses and seemed to remember why it was here as it swung an arm down to hit me. I looked up. "Shit." I said as Terry 2.0's fist slammed into me like a battering ram, making me fly with extreme speed through a few dozen trees before coming to a stop after smashing into a boulder.

"Ow… I think a I broke something…" I muttered, chuckling as blood trickled from my mouth. "DAMN TERRY! BEEN A WHILE!" I screamed as I got back up and walked back towards the dirt road, only to see a young man standing with a bloodied sword in front of a pile of meat that used to be Terry. The two guards were thanking him while he was not-so-graciously accepting their thanks. The boy had messy brown hair and bright green eyes. He was quite short with white skin and very interesting clothes.

My first thought was 'This son of a bitch killed Terry!'

However, before I could start beating the shit out of this kid I remembered something and my mouth fell open.

"Oh. Now I remember…" I muttered as I finally remembered where I had seen this scene before. Akame Ga Kill, an anime on Netflix that I had watched just a month ago. This was the starting scene if I remembered correctly.

"No way." I said as the trio realized I was here and looked at me in shock. "No! way!" I screamed as I started jumping around. 'Finally an end to the boredom! Oh! Maybe something can actually kill me here!' I thought giddily as I smiled like a madman, creeping out the three that seemed to be talking to me.

Finally, I left my inner world and tuned in to what they were saying.

"… I just don't understand how you could survive that!" One of the guards said, looking at my beat-up body.

"What do you mean? Of course I survived idiot! Not even a scratch on me, see!" I said, gesturing at my body. They looked at me like I was a moron. "What?" I asked, to which the boy, Tatsumi I believe, said "Your clothes are torn up and you're covered in blood." He said, to which I looked at him oddly.

"You should've seen the other guy!" I finally said, to which everyone deadpanned. Seeing that they still didn't believe me, I ripped everything off but my underwear. "See?" I said, gesturing at my flawless naked form. "Not a scratch!" I exclaimed proudly. Looking up, they all seemed uncomfortable.

"What's the problem? We're all dudes here so there's no need to be embarrassed. I get that I'm gorgeous but I don't think I'm handsome enough to turn you gay. Am I?" I mused as they all snapped out of it.

"Thank you again for saving us young man but we should really be on our way!" One of the guards said as they went back to the wagon.

"Wait up assholes!" I said to which they both turned around, surprised. "If you're really thankful, you should give us a ride to the Capital!" I said. "Us?" Tatsumi asked. "Yes, us." I said as if it were obvious. The guards looked at each other and then looked back at us.

…

"Thanks for the ride!" I said, standing next to Tatsumi and waving at the leaving wagon. We started walking through the town while Tatsumi was going on and on about how nice it was to be in the Capital. Finally, i interrupted him. "Hey, why is everyone looking at us?" I asked. He looked at me weirdly. "I think it's because you're still not wearing clothes." He said.

I looked down and a cold breeze passed by as I saw my black boxers and nothing else. "Oh! So they're all perverts! I see!" I exclaimed loudly. Everyone nearby heard me and quickly looked away, flustered.

Tatsumi just sighed. Prolonged exposure to crazy numbs you to it. Trust me, I know, cuz I'm crazy.

"Let's get you some clothes. Do you have any money?" Tatsumi asked, to which I shook my head. He sighed and pulled me towards a clothing store.

I walked out with a new black tuxedo and red tie. My black hair was messy and uncombed. I had dark red eyes and a tie that matched them.

"Much better!" I said as I pulled back my black gloves. Tatsumi was staring regrettably at his half-empty sack of money. I looked over and smirked. "I'll pay you back one hundred times the amount later." I said, to which he perked up. "You don't have to!" He said, to which I shook my head. "No. Without you how would I find a nice rich cougar to give me all her money? Once I strike it rich I'll pay you back! I swear!" I said, to which he once again gave me an odd look. "What? It's the most effective way to make money for a young handsome male such as myself! The charts don't lie!" I said. Tatsumi continued to just stare at me confusedly.

"I think I only understood half of those words." He finally said, to which I sighed.

"You have much to learn, my friend." I said, to which he took on a thoughtful expression.

All of a sudden a young woman with blonde hair and some of the biggest breasts I've ever seeen walked up to us and set her ample bust on young Tatsumi's head. I watched as they bulged against the black strap keeping them hidden from the world. Tatsumi's face slowly turned more and more red.

He suddenly squealed and ran behind me as the girl chuckled. I looked sad. "What is it, big guy? Why are you so sad? Are you jealous?" The girl asked, smiling cheekily at me. "Yes…" I said, to which she briefly looked shocked before her smile returned.

"I like honest guys! Wanna get me a drink?" She asked, to which I smiled. "I don't have money but my friend Tatsumi seems to have some! Ask him!" I said to which Tatsumi looked at his already half empty purse sadly and the girl laughed.

"My name is Lione! Nice to meet you!" She said happily, extending her hand for us to shake. Tatsumi smiled and shook it, introducing himself. After he was done I stepped forward and took her hand, kneeling while I did so and kissing it, putting on my British accent and smiling lightly. "I'm Ammon. A pleasure to meet you miss." I said. A dusting of red colored Lione's cheeks before she shook her head and put back on a smile.

"Nice to meet you guys too! Now about that drink…?"

I actually found this girl to be quite attractive. She was tall, not as tall as me, who was still a good head taller, and looked to be in her early twenties. She wore nothing but a black strap on her top half and her bottom was covered by black pants and brown boots, with a beaded belt with a rag tucked into it.

I smiled. "Sure, why not." I said as Tatsumi cried in a corner.

…

Tatsumi and I had gotten to know each other over the ride to the Capital, and after a few hours of talking I guess we sort of started to travel together for now.

The kid was quite nice actually, and I kind of took a liking to him right away. The only problem is that he is too naive. He trusts people too much and tries too hard to be a hero. It is because of those traits that he ended up dying in the anime, and why he got scammed at the beginning by Lione.

I won't be babysitting him needlessly, but taking care of him along the way is fine, right?

After looking around, I noticed a lot of the people here suffered from poverty. I've seen it too many times to count in the past, time and time again.

Humans are born to list for power, their greed only grows the more they have. It is for this reason that situations such as these happen.

I found the anime emotional, yes, and I actually quite liked the plot, but I also found the whole premise pointless.

Why should I sacrifice myself for a rebellion against a tyrannical ruler when the very rebellion I'm fighting for will just take over and do the same thing?

Though it may not happen immediately, the very people speaking out and fighting against these horrid aristocrats will eventually do the same thing they hated others for doing!

I tried once, to stop my fellow humans from meaninglessly mistreating and killing each other, but it was all for naught. I put a good and trusted friend on the throne only for him to end up like all the rest and getting murdered once things got out of hand.

That's when I stopped caring. I decided that fighting for freedom isn't worth it, and fighting against it wasn't either. Either way you loose.

The only way to win is through indifference.

…

However that doesn't mean I won't join Night Raid for the fun of it. I've already killed countless people, what's a few more? Although I have gotten severely out of shape, and even then the people in this world are, to say the least, superhuman in strength.

So after some training and once I get my hands on one of those overpowered weapons that the show is based off of, it'll be time to have some fun!

I can't wait!