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HP X LOTM : Please Call Me Mr. Error.

"When did I sign away my wealth to you!?" Lockhart asked, shocked. "That's the neat part about it, you don't know.", Loki said with a smile. "Hmm...I can feel it. I can feel the power coursing through my veins." Voldemort said as he felt his face after his rebirth. "Huh? Where's my nose!!!?" "Obviously, I have it! Do you want it? If you want it you need to praise Dumbledore!!" Loki said with an innocent smile. "Lord Voldemort does not need to listen to yo- Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of all time!!" Voldemort said with fanatic eyes, creating confusion amongst the death eaters. 'What!? Why am I saying this!? What did he do to me!?' "Who are you!??" Dumbledore asked calmly. "Me? Have I not introduced myself yet? Please call me Mr. Error." Loki said with a smile while adjusting the monocle over his right eye. Read more about Loki's adventures as he walks through his years at Hogwarts meeting and scamming an array of famous personalities that have become infamed in the world of Harry Potter. ********************************************************** Read 20 chapters ahead on my p@treon for $3 (USD) by going to the link, pa treon.com/hooin_kyoma_au . Remember to remove the space between 'a' and 't'.

Hooin_Kyoma · Livros e literatura
Classificações insuficientes
216 Chs

Wildly Positive.

Loki looked at the book list for the second year.

"The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk"

'That one is normal.'

"Break with a Banshee by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Gadding with Ghouls by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Holidays with Hags by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Travels with Trolls by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockhart"

"Year with the Yeti by Gilderoy Lockhart"

'Why are there so many books by this professor?'

'Will the Hogwarts funds for orphans even have enough money for these many books?'

Loki looked confused, 'If the last professor was incompetent enough to be unable to write a single book, why is this professor over-competent?'

'Is there something wrong with 'Adam'?'

'Damn he always finds a way to appear like the least credible person in the room.'

It was late in the evening when Loki got his letter and so he wondered if he should go to Diagon Alley right away in the evening or if would go later the next morning.

Picking up a random coin that Loki had enchanted with runes to be a flashbang, Loki tossed it into the air.

'Heads I go today.'

'Tails I go tomo-'

'Wait! Why don't I do divination to check if I should go or not!?'

'I'm a Beyonder! An idiot one apparently.'

Loki quickly pulled out his trusty ol' topaz pendulum and let it hang until it was at rest, perfectly still.

Using the soul of the Mystery Pryer in the ring of harvest, Loki started his divination by using cogitation.

'It is good to go to Diagon Alley right now to purchase my books for the second year.'

'It is good to go to Diagon Alley right now to purchase my books for the second year.'

'It is good to go to Diagon Alley right now to purchase my books for the second year.'

'It is good to go to Diagon Alley right now to purchase my books for the second year.'

Opening his eyes, Loki found the pendulum swinging clockwise in a violent manner.

'Huh? It's a really good time for me to go to Diagon Alley?'

Loki felt a little weirded out and found the result a little unsettling but he acquiesced in the end, 'Well the divination knows better than me anyway. I guess there's something really important waiting for me over there.'

Stepping out of the Sefirah Castle, Loki prepared himself by taking a short shower and since Kreacher was asleep he picked out clothes for himself.

'A neon pink shirt, neon black pants and neon yellow jacket. Perfect outfit. It feels so retro. Cool.'

'Glad I don't have to wear those all-black emo school robes again.'

Wearing his dress, Loki sped outside 12 Grimmauld Place and walked a little distance under the stares of everyone present on the streets.

"Mommy look!! I wanna be like that!!" Loki heard a small child say and raised his chest with pride-

'Hmm…I'm the best!'

-except he faltered in his steps a little when he heard the mother say, "No Charlie! Don't become a weirdo."

Arriving a little distance away, Loki raised his wand hand with the thought of finding some transportation and within a few seconds, with a *bang*, a large red double-decker bus stopped in front of him.

"Stan Stunpike! Conductor of the Knight bus at your service!"

A thin man with a frame that no one would be jealous of unless they were like Loki from earlier, starving for food, entered Loki's view and with a tip of his hat looked at him, extending his hand for the little Loki to hold and pull himself onto the bus.

"I need to go to the Leaky Cauldron." Loki said with a smile as he looked around the bus amazedly.

The inside was empty, and other than the odd bed loosely moving here and there, there was nothing much to look at, but Loki found it all very impressive, especially since he could feel the magic that was thrumming away to keep the bus running.

"You've got it! Eleven Sickles for the trip!"

Loki pulled out his money pouch and handed over exactly eleven coins since they were all sickles.

"Alright! You might wanna hold on for this!"

Loki rushed to a bed closest to him and immediately held on for dear life as he found a shrunken head beside the driver turning back and talking to him.

"Are you ready!? YOu better be!! Because we're in for a blas-"

Before Loki could hear what the shrunken head was talking about, he found himself thrust backwards as the bus started with a *bang*.

"WOAAHHHHH!!!" Loki shouted as he spotted everything around him outside the bus moving at speeds that turned it all into a blur.

All the lights on the roads, the lamps and the car lights, turned into streaks as the bus passed by them at unimaginable speeds.

The ride felt magical, Loki watched how the bus shrunk and extended, slipping through the narrowest of streets and through a crowd of people, coming to a stop only when it was on due course for a collision with some life form.

Overall, Loki enjoyed the roller coaster-like ride that made his stomach flip and turned it both upside down and inside out.

"That was fun, I'll be back for more, later in the night!" Loki said with a smile and waved goodbye to Stan and Ernie, the bus driver.

"You will always be welcome.", Stan said and Ernie nodded.

The bus left with a bang and Loki turned around to address the dingy old bar behind him. Something which the muggles around the area failed to detect or even notice as multiple people kept entering and exiting.

Loki walked inside the bar and after giving a nod to the bartender, Tom, he stepped into the alleyway where a dustbin was placed inconspicuously and found the third brick to the top and two bricks to the left and tapped on it.

'But what happens if someone moves the dustbin a little? Will people still be able to find the right brick?'

Loki stared at the brick carefully and then at the dustbin, 'Perhaps I can move it and see what happens?'

But as Loki's fingers brushed against the brick he realised something silly, 'Huh, there's a dent on it. From repeated use?'

'Is that how the bartender keeps track of it and fixes it if someone drunk in the bar manages to knock it over?'

'Well, whatever, I need to go do what I'm destined to do.'

'Is it to save a princess in a tower?'

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