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How to love a sociopath

Love.... What is this emotion that you speak about... Does it even exist.... To me?.... I'd never forget the day she smiled at me after I asked her why she was the way she was, I remember her asking me if I could handle it, if I could handle her...I laughed and look away from her eyes in moments like this, her confidence overwhelms my heart, so I crumble and and look away before I collapse. "I'm a sociopath...." She whispers making my neck snap back to her searching for that joking smile or laugh but she just raise a brow and struggled to hold in a laugh. "Ha see I told you, you can't handle me Khalid, stop wasting your time not that I mind though" she mutters before looking back up at the sky and sliding her eyes close probably due to the beautiful wind that caresses our being. For some weird reason I was unable to say a word but instead I just stared as her face that was now exposed due to her laying down on her back, every time she says those words I'm speechless, and she feels the need to remind me every time about her diagnosis, even though I want to pretend that it does exist, I guess this is her own way of caring, telling me how dangerous she could be...I probably should listen but I can't- "I know what you are thinking right now....I would not waste my time trying to defend myself nor would I try to proof to you about how am a good human being and blah blah blah, this is just me, emotions don't exist to me but transactions of self gratification do...if you don't like me then I dare you to walk away" those were the words she said to me the first time she ever revealed her diagnosis to me while staring up at me with her beautiful gummy smile. as if what she had just said to me was nothing big, as if it wasn't something that could make a human run far far away from her being, as if it was not something that could make me neurotic, and I don't know if I'm just plain stupid or not right now, but my feet still refused to move no matter how heavy the word that escaped from her lips felt against my being, I didn't move.. not even an inch, as my brain yelled at me to leave, Run and to flee, because these are the very people my parents told me to stay away from when I was younger they gave the word danger the meaning it has today,for they were the complete nuisances and deviants to society, or at least that was what everyone said simply because there is still currently no cure to this type of wounded minds in which these specific section of people possess, so of course,it's better to stay away from them right?, right?. But maybe she herself knew that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't walk away from her while being entrapped in my emotions and being enchanted by her beauty. I've heard from people that love always tend to make one weak and indeed she already has me on my knees and she knows it and I guess that's the scary part of it, maybe that's why she dared me walk away, with her cold eyes captivating me in a trance along with her beautiful smile, perhaps I'm stupid...because this was a very clear red flag, but here I was ready to sign myself up for that. "Pleasure to meet you once again" was all I said in reply giving her a goofy smile making her raise a brow at me, with a thoughtful look on her face before she smirked and shook her head..I wonder what she was thinking about right now... probably about how stupid I am or even more..that's one thing I've always disliked about her..it's almost impossible to read her but she knows how to read everybody within 3-5 minutes max, she reads the room like it's the back of her hand in her calculated mind...and then she goes on further to block you out with her beautiful innocent yet cold big Brown eyes..with her calculated gaze which still surprisingly able to make you feel comforted, understood and safe. And What a big mistake it is to believe that she cares about you enough to keep you safe when to her the world and relationships are simply all about what she can gain.

Wanderers_Concept · Urbano
Classificações insuficientes
11 Chs

Chapter 10: There's no place like home.

*"You never realise the worth of something until you feel it getting away from you. Always Cherish what you have before that empty feeling returns, even after it does return never stop cherishing those happy memories, for it might be the only thing that would make the world bearable for you in return"*

Today makes it the 3rd day ever since his uninvited sisters had arrived at his apartment, did he mention that they were uninvited?, yes? Oh well he is saying it again UNINVITED, and they all keep on acting like bugs that you just want to smash with your shoe yet you care too much to be able to actually do it  because you remember they also have souls, you wonder if they have feelings too due to that...Khalid lets out a dramatic sigh for the upteenth time, while his sisters ignored his obvious protest and went on chatting and arguing about how beautiful this city actually is,they walked down the streets starring around like kids who were locked in a dark room for centuries. Compared to their real hometown, Carmel city was just a tiny place yet they acted like this was a tourist centre.

There was reason why the Carmel city is known by not so many, it is a state at the edge of the country, there's nothing too interesting about it, and in the words of James "if you don't get out of the town eventually you would never experience what the world really holds", but one thing Khalid found interesting enough to make him choose the city was that it was a small state which he found while messing around with google maps one day and then Bam! he found it; this small unknown city which is full of beautiful sceneries and of course multiple beaches, resorts, hills, just too beautiful compared to the very busy street he had back at home where everyone was struggling to make it to work or somewhere, no one had time to stop and check on their fellow human. It was something that caused him unnecessary anxiety even though he never actually mentioned it out loud.

Anyways back to the issue of Carmel city discovery by Khalid,  he wanted to know if it was real so he went ahead to do research on Google and social media sites thus leading to his discovery of the university's social media account, where James was tagged and here he is.

It turns out that the city is actually very real and they even have a good quality for education, the town's population is barely 5000, what more could a boy like Khalid want?, when he is a fan of the quiet life, unlike all of his sisters of course, even Leena settled for the noisy walls of their city even though she herself is not so loud.

But anyways back to the present, I know you are probably wondering what's going on with the Clautez family today, what chaos are they about to embark on today. Well, earlier on Khalid sisters had said that they wanted to "take him out to see the city" more like messing up his plans for the weekend plus "is it not they that want to see the city?", hasn't he been here for months?, he lets out a sigh again thinking to himself as he walked behind his sisters as they point, touched and ran after anything they fancied; I guess the curiosity runs in their family, for real.

They also forced him to have sleepovers where they watched horror movies and strange serial killer documentaries that Khalid is sure had traumatized him for life yet he would never forget how Amara laughed and tried to repaint a clearer way that would have led the killer to get away instead of leaving evidences behind, which reminds him of why he is officially scared of her and how she thinks but honestly she could care less, Leena laughed at some parts talking about how the characters in horror movies are dumb, which his other sisters agreed to, while Khalid was trying hard not to pee his pants due to fright and then the highlight of it all was that all of his sisters laughed whenever they saw him like that, even Zoya who was close to tears due to fear too was laughing, how hypocritical is that?.

After 3 days of forceful family bonding which Khalid would never admit that he enjoyed, the bunch had announced that they'll be leaving tomorrow due to work, family and what not, Amara though had said she could move in with him since she didn't have to work from any office, which made Khalid let out a fake laugh before muttering the word NO,  making her roll her eyes and complain about how she already knows that he didn't love her which he ignored.

Zoya said she had a date which made all of her sisters let out an annoyed groan even Khalid couldn't help but to roll his eyes at that news…because they all knew that it was a date that will be none existent in a few days or weeks, she had an awful luck with men or maybe she just picks the wrong ones all the time but that doesn't stop her from trying and being enthusiastic for true love which is something Khalid doesn't believe exist at this point. He believes it has to do with hormones but he would never say that to her or else she would probably throw him off a cliff, so that's a conversation for another day.

Back to today, Khalid led them through and into Carmel city's famous yet small mall for the fact that they had complained that they were getting tired of staying indoors after forcing him to tell them about everything that has happened ever since he had arrived in the city his sisters have decided to get souvenirs to take home to his nephews and nieces and also to his mum of course, to calm her anxiety of course, he is starting to believe that she sent her army of daughters to come all the way to Carmel city just to check on him, not that they would ever admit it.

As they walked down the street, in and out of shops with multiple extravagant bags the citizen's of the town stared at them as it was obvious they were first timers in the small city for them to buy so much useless merchandise all at once, and it is honestly hard to say that Khalid wasn't embarrassed by all of that.

Khalid is one that doesn't like the attention among the five, so imagine a situation like that, but regardless of it all, he just wanted the day to just be over in peace as he feels the urge that there's going to be a quarrel amongst his sisters especially Anika(the eldest) whose fierce eyes could be threatening when she's trying to put the others in line.

After what felt like forever he found himself standing outside of his apartment complex after carrying down so many boxes from upstairs, who would believe that his sisters were here for just 4 days, why did they have to bring so many Luggages?, that was the actual question he asked them but they told they needed everything that was inside, he just can't win an argument with them right?.

"The car would be arriving in a few" Anika announced making the sisters to let out hums in reply and just like a dream the car arrived in a few minutes.

And then another dramatic set of, " I love you and I'll miss you also can't I just move in with you, or can't you move back home with us" scene began with them clutching unto him like he was their life line while Leena and Anika tried their hardest to pull the other Girls off from the boy.

It wasn't until Anika reminded them that their flight is only an hour away and the airport was exactly 45 minutes away that made them to reluctantly let go of Khalid who lets out a cough due to all the hugs that were choking him,

he watched as they reluctantly  entered into the car while yelling out obnoxious forms of "I love you's!, and I'll miss you's" at the boy making strangers on the street to stare at the bunch while Khalid felt like the ground should open up and swallow him up, he sent Anika a grateful nod which she sent one back to him, silently telling him she could tell how exhausting it was becoming for him .

After what felt like eternity, Anika finally closed the booth/trunk of the car and slammed it shut after she was sure that everything that they had brought and bought was in it for sure, she turned and faced Khalid with her calm yet warm gaze, making Khalid feel on the edge, for some weird reason he always feels like she's about to scold him even when she barely says anything.

"Do take care of yourself kay? and also do not hesitate to call us if you ever need anything, we are here for you, you know that right?" she states with a raise brow making Khalid nod in reply, a smile appears on his lips even when he tried to stop it, but he failed, Anika wasn't a woman of many words or affection ever since they were kids so when she does the bare minimum at being affectionate then you could tell that she really did care a whole lot and that was enough to make you feel warm and cared for, lost in his never ending thoughts Khalid was caught off guard by Anika pulling him in for an embrace, it took him a second to register the hug in his brain before he hugged her back but of course, their moment was cut short by a rude interruption or should I say an obnoxious whining by yours truly.

"Ah no fair, so you chased us away just so that you could have him all to yourself, no fair Anika!" Amara yelled dramatically, making the two to roll their eyes at her as they pulled away.

Khalid watched as his sister got into the SUV and he watched as the car pulled out of the driveway with of course, the windows down and his obnoxious sisters by the names of Amara and Zoya kept on yelling bye dramatically until they got to a point where their car was no longer in his view or hearing range, making Khalid let out a sigh.

He had no idea if that sigh was supposed to be one of relief or one where he didn't want them to leave, because here he thought he would feel at ease once they leave yet here he is feeling lost and empty just like how he was feeling in the beginning of it all, indeed there's no place like the home you find in family be it blood related or not blood related at all...family is still family.

***

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