I - The last role

A tired sigh left Seokjin's lips when he deleted the nth number of email without reading it. He already knew by the subject what was in it. It didn't matter that he said in his last interview that he's gonna retire, he kept on getting requests for roles.

He even told his assistant that he can search for another job. Seokjin's assistant didn't want to do it at first, but later on, he accepted the actor's decision. A few days later Seokjin got a call from his worker that he found a job, and the actor was happy for him.

So here he was, doing the job which was his employee had done before. As he sipped from the glass of wine he started thinking about if he paid enough money for him. When he deleted the last mail he tossed back his head, closing his eyes in the process.

Seokjin knew well that he disappointed his fans. It's been only three years since he started acting, but he felt like he was doing it much longer. He loved being in front of the cameras and luckily he was talented - at least the critiques and the audience's opinion -, but the things which happened behind the curtains were too much for him to swallow.

Because yes, everything had its bad sides, this industry was no exception.

That is how many things he had done to take a role. Diets, training, language courses, traveling, the non-stop rush because he had to keep up with his tight schedule.

That he had to be aware of what kind of branded clothes he was wearing when he showed up at an event, keeping away the opportunity of a scandal.

Not to mention that he didn't have a private life, not that he had time for it anyway. He couldn't even go on a vacation without at least one paparazzi following him, letting the public know his whereabouts.

Seokjin felt extremely lucky that even with a short while of his career he didn't get involved in any kind of scandal. He had read many articles about actors and actresses who got caught on using or selling drugs, or some other kind of stuff about their private life. It didn't matter that there were much worse people who committed horrible crimes, if you're in the spotlight the tiniest mistake could end your career in a blink of an eye. Furthermore, if you just got accused in a scandal was enough to ruin your career, the fact that in the end, it becomes clear you were innocent didn't matter.

A notification sound snapped Seokjin out from his thoughts. He glanced at the screen of his notebook in his lap. He got a new email. Seokjin himself had no idea why he opened it, but he found himself reading the written lines on the screen. And as he got through the lines, his interest perked up more and more. When he finished reading he became so excited he had felt such a long time ago. A quite popular channel wanted to start a new series, and they wanted Seokjin for one of the main roles. He read the mail again then he stood up from the couch, putting the glass of wine to the table, holding the notebook in his other hand as he made his way to his bedroom.

He grabbed his cellphone from the nightstand and hopped down onto his bed, he put the laptop next to himself in the process. Seokjin dialed the number he saw in the mail with trembling fingers. He felt like his heart was beating so fast in his chest while he waited for someone to answer the call.

"You have no idea how happy I am that you called." Seokjin heard the voice of a man on the other side of the phone.

"Good evening to you as well, Sir. Well, you chose a theme which caught my attention." Seokjin was proud of himself that his voice wasn't shaky.

"Oh really? So I can take it as a yes? You accept the role?" The man asked.

"Yes."

"Wonderful! I'll send the script tomorrow. It's just a raw one, if you have any advice or remark, please don't hesitate to tell me. I'm all ears." The man said and ended the call.

Seokjin stared at his phone before he slightly shook his head, a sigh leaving his lips.

"I hope I won't regret it..." He mumbled to himself, putting down his phone onto the nightstand before he took slow steps towards the kitchen. He spent the whole afternoon sitting on the couch, deleting the mails, dinner time was long gone.

He opened the fridge and took out the leftovers from lunch and put it into the microwave. Maybe he loved cooking, but he felt way too tired, not to mention that he hated wasting food.

When his dinner was ready he took it out from the microwave and sat down at the table before he started eating. He wondered why the hell did he say yes to the role. He had just said in his last interview that he's finished with acting and he wanted to rest.

But to be honest, Seokjin knew exactly why he said yes. The topic was what got his attention. He saw a challenge in it. He had no idea why they wanted him for this role, he's been always hiding his true sexuality from the public; only his closest friends knew it.

Because Seokjin was gay.

He figured it out quite soon, but he kept it in secret so well that no one had bullied him in middle school nor in the university. He had never had a boyfriend either, he was way too scared about what people would think about him.

When he finished his dinner, he put the dirty plate and his metallic chopsticks into the dishwasher before he started his nightly routine. His friends came into his mind when he stepped into the bathroom.

There were only two young men who had earned Seokjin's trust.

In his second year, Seokjin's courses became way harder, the notes and assignments almost buried him alive. To reach the best grades he could, he practically lived in the library of the university.

One time he heard a shout from the bookshelves which made Seokjin stand up immediately, rushing to the source of the sound to check out what had happened. A ladder was leaned to one of the shelves, and a boy was sitting next to it, he was surrounded by a bunch of books. Seokjin crouched next to him, putting his hand onto the boy's shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" Seokjin asked, the boy looked at him surprised. A few seconds later a huge, dimpled smile crossed his face, blushing slightly. The sight made Seokjin's breathing stop for a moment.

"Yeah, I just tried to take too many books at one time from the shelf. I lost my balance and I fell."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yep, I'm just fine. I had worse before." The latter answered, collecting the books before they both stood up. Seokjin didn't want to leave him there just yet, he stayed for a few more seconds, making sure that the boy was truly fine.

"Well, if you're really fine..." Seokjin mumbled quietly and turned around, going back to study.

"Wa-wait!" he heard the boy behind him. Seokjin turned back, looking at the boy with a raised eyebrow.

"Can I buy you a coffee or something?" the latter asked him with red cheeks.

"Uhm... sure." Seokjin agreed, giving an encouraging smile to the other one.

That's how he met with Kim Namjoon, a clumsy yet kind-hearted young man who loves music more than anything. He had a unique mind, he was a fast learner, seeing through things quickly, giving his heart into everything he did. Namjoon was a really important person to Seokjin.

A deep sigh left his lips when he stepped out from the shower, tidying a towel around his tiny waist. He made his way to the mirror, brushing his teeth before he went to his bedroom, taking his steppes in front of his wardrobe.

A few moments later he laid in his bed, but the dreamworld avoided him. His other best friend popped into his mind, he trusted in him just as much as he trusted in Namjoon.

He was already living in the dorm of the university when a short, angelic-looking boy knocked on his door, telling Seokjin that they will be roommates. That's when he first met with Park Jimin, a really talented dancer. The kind, smiley younger carved himself into the older one's heart quite soon. Jimin was usually shy who has barely got any confidence. That's why Seokjin was so shocked when he first saw how Jimin danced. It was like a totally different person. Jimin gave all of himself to the music, his breathtaking moves were precise yet full of emotions at the same time. A normal person would think his dance was perfect, but Jimin had always stayed in the practice room till dawn, thinking that he wasn't good enough.

It happened more than once that Seokjin and Namjoon tried to convince the younger to take some rest as they didn't want to visit him in the hospital. And maybe Jimin didn't want to stop at first, at the end, it was obvious how grateful he had felt towards his friends who took care of him.

When Seokjin graduated, he still stayed in touch with his friends, always trying to meet with them whenever he had some free time. A year later Namjoon finished university as well, becoming the second one who started the life he wanted to live. The two of them tried to encourage Jimin, giving him enough strength to go on, and they were extremely proud when the younger graduated, he was the best student in his course.

Maybe their ways in life were separated, their friendship survived every difficulty. Seokjin loved both of them like brothers, he felt like he could do anything for them. Seokjin could be truly himself, he didn't have to keep secrets from them. Through the years Seokjin found out that both Namjoon and Jimin were homosexual, just like him, so neither of them looked down at him.

Seokjin's last thoughts whirled around his best friends when he could finally fall asleep, entering into the world of dreams.