Keep it cool

Jess

I stood there and watched Fred beat the girl he was cheating on me with or the girl he was cheating, I don't even know anymore. I didn't do or say anything until he stopped,it made wonder if he actually hits girls like that, I mean for all I know I've never seen him fight, he has never laid a finger on me... oh right, except when he raped me.

I just walked away from their petty drama to look for my bag, I searched around his apartment but couldn't find it, I walked back to them to find Fred pleading with the girl, he was whispering something to her and I could have sworn he was telling her I meant nothing to him. I scoffed at the sight and walked up to him

"where the hell is my bag?"I snarled

but he didn't even bother to look at me ,I just felt pain in my heart,it was like a lump was growing inside my neck, it took me God knows what to hold back the tears about to pour out from my eyes.

I just turned and walked back to his main door, I sat there and waited for them to settle their couple ish while I felt tears streaming down my cheeks,Ive never felt pain like this before.

I mean I do endure the I'll treatments I get from my Uncle and his family but this coming from Fred tore my whole world apart. I was still gazing at nothing when he walked in without the girl pulling me away from my thoughts. I'm guessing the girl might have gone

"please get me my bag I need to go home "

He didn't say anything, he just gave me the bag

oh right, it was actually getting late he knew I couldn't go home that late because it was a dangerous time of the night how come I didn't even realize it. I just plopped myself on the ground and after what seems like an hour, he came kneeling down and begging. I didn't want him to beg or even kneel down, the sight is just disturbing to my eyes,i told him to stand up and he started explaining his relationship with the girl.

Apparently the girl's name was Rose,they used to date before I came into his life and he said it wasn't serious, he said he ended it but the girl didn't allow it, the girl supported him when he had nothing and what he felt for her was more of gratitude than love,

That's when it hit me, this is exactly what I felt for Harry, gratitude. As stupid as it may sound I found myself forgiving him and more out of guilt. I forgave him and spent the night in his house, we slept together and I was surprised he didn't even try to have sex with me or anything, the closest he did was kiss me and cuddled me up to his chest.

I found all the feelings of love I had for him until a few hours ago rushing back .'Gosh, what is wrong with me'

•••••

Three months later

I had this huge quarrel with Harry hoping he would end the relationship I didn't want to be the one ending it, but he didn't, although we stopped talking, we no longer text nor call each other. Weeks went by and Feed was back on his behavior, the secret texts and calls, sometimes he won't even pick my calls for days and when I ask him about it he would say he was busy. It kept going on until I realized I was losing Fred, I just picked my phone and told him it was over. After three days,he texted and told me his mom wanted to speak to me, wow

I wasn't even expecting his mom to speak to me, it made feel important to some extent. After speaking to his mom, I came to realize that he was sorry though and his mom said he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings again because she had talked some senses into him. I was smiling from ear to ear even though she couldn't see it.

I forgave him Fred and we came back to our relationship meanwhile I still haven't heard from Harry nor even seen him.

I started hearing some shit from some of Harry's friends about him getting another girlfriend, I didn't believe it though, the Harry I knew would Inform me first before moving on, I just shrugged the thoughts away .

......

The new year had begun and I'm applying for another college,I'm thinking of business school this time. Theres still no sign of Harry and Fred is becoming an asshole again, I just got tired and let it be, he does whatever he wants, he doesn't want to visit him more often all in the name of he was going on some business trips, he doesn't even call anymore to check on me but whatever he does he would blame for not checking up on him, the whole thing was getting boring really and I was about to lose it, but I kept calm.