DxD and The Evil Eyes Master

So it’s kinda driving me insane how little sense this story makes... it’s not even a self insert it just taking the world of DxD changing all the names and twisting the story till it’s unrecognizable along with some Chinese cultivation hidden parents bull**** going on in the background.

The story itself isn't to bad but it's so mixed up with concepts from dozens of places that it's not dxd anymore. The MC is too op from the start, the story too oc to be relatable from known perspectives. This is as unique as when someone writes a modern day highschool romance fic ft. Naruto characters minus the ninja thing. The only difference is that the world works differently instead of the lack of powers. A major issue i had was inconsistency in the story. One moment they're on theyre of their first day's of elementary school acting like little kids, with Akeno and rias already in their class, the perverted trio already lustic after the swim club members despite their age and the next he's on his way home and attacked by donaseek. Then he's in school again, sits near someone who he went to middleschool with and is called to the occult research club. Basically the author first writes this as a dxd loli edition then suddenly he's in highschool without the clarity of there having been a time skip. All in all it ain't a bad fic but definitely is one that is too chaotic for me.

The novel that you write is very fun and interesting to me. I love reading it very much when I'm free. Every story plot in all the chapters is great and good. I wish I could read it every day to fill my day. I like a characteristic of all your character especially your main lead. I also hope that the authors continue writing to the end and I always support your hard work. Thank you for your hard works and don’t drop or reboot it or hiatus because I love to read your novel. Even though I spent a stone spirit I still hope you carry on your novel. I hope can read more and more a chapter every day. Your novel makes my life colorful and not boring.

The story was not bad by normal standards but the grammar is so bad I feel like I got a migraine just from reading it . I mean what language translate devil in to dark wing race , angel in to white wing race and fallen angel into black wing race and the POV is simply horrendous and the way the characters talk is just off putting

Not gonna lie, this is physically painful to read. Same thing as always: the story desperately needs an editor to comb through every single chapter and make the text presentable.

Ceritanya bagus dan sangat menarik. Saya akan menantikan kelanjutannya. Walaupun fanfic ini mirip dengan yang satunya lagi, tapi tidak masalah.. Yah tetap berkarya dan saya akan menunggu kelanjutan ceritanya