Leaving the Darkness

Things change, time changes, and life changes. All it needs is time.

I used to believe in this quote. I placed all my trust and hope in it, but nothing changed for me. No matter how long I waited… I was alone in the darkness.

In the darkness, there is no day or night, there is no colour, there is no concept of time, and no happiness or hope. Everything around me is lifeless, and it has been that way since the very beginning.

It's all that I have known. I used to fear it, waiting for a light to shine through and cast away my isolation, but now it is part of me. I welcome it, I embrace it, in this world that doesn't have a place for me, only this endless void accepts me.

Aside from blackness, only pain accompanies me. Since the beginning of my time, it has kept me company, inhabiting every inch of my body. It erodes my brain, makes me crazy… But I don't detest it, because it's the only factor that proves I am alive.

I suffered in this void, I felt my body- Hmm, no that's not quite right, I am merely a floating consciousness. Let me rephrase that, I felt my soul being torn apart. I longed for the outside world and hoped that one day I too, would be able to bask in the light.

I only had one thing, my consciousness so I did anything I could with it. I split myself into two people and chatted with myself, played chess with myself, imagined a life of an adventurer, and even tried counting to as high as I could. I would say what number it was, but it would take an eternity just to say the whole number.

I would occasionally have visions of the outside world. In those visions, I would experience the life of another existence. It was like being a spectator of their life from beginning to end without the power to change anything, but I still treasured those visions.

The visions ranged from all over being a veteran warrior, a bookworm mage, a businessman, a dwarf, an elf, and sometimes it was even common rabbits and lizards.

I treasure those visions. They were my only connection to the outside world. It opened my eyes to the world outside. It brought me joy, excitement and hope which was refreshing even if it only lasted for a moment.

I replayed the visions I saw over and over, analysing every aspect of it and learning anything about the outside world I could. I studied their language, technology, art of war, politics, social structure, magic, anything and everything I could. I engraved it all into my mind since it was my only distraction from the pain.

But it was also with these visions that I found out what I was…

That was how I passed my time. Whether it was years, decades, or centuries, nothing changed. I stopped trying to hope… Until "it" appeared.

In a time and space that I spent my existence in, it appeared. It was an existence just like me, born in this abyss and enveloped in darkness and pain.

It appeared so suddenly when I was suffocating from the pain. We were both merely formless souls trapped in desolation, but the moment we met was the moment our fates were tied.

Finally… After all the pointless waiting, there was finally someone else to share the pain with.

We couldn't talk, listen, touch, or anything of that sort, but we didn't need it to understand each other. It was like meeting my other half… our souls resonated and pulsed in unison. Our minds were linked. Even the thoughts we weren't aware of ourselves were exposed. It was a connection of the soul, something no other existence would understand.

In my time of darkness, it appeared like a light in the dark. We shared everything with each other. No longer did I have to split myself into two to talk to myself. No longer did I have to pointlessly count numbers, and no longer did I have to be alone. That existence was the only reason why I was able to keep my sanity.

When the loneliness and pain got unbearable, only that existence kept me going. We were the pillars of support for each other, and just like that, time and space passed along while ignoring our pleads for freedom.

I had accepted this as my destiny… but things started to change. Presence that didn't belong to me nor that existence came in my view through the abyss.

"Tes-... -bject… 928539… Success"

This was something that had never happened before, completely unlike the visions I had. Confusion and questions lingered in my mind as sound rang through the void, but neither of those feelings could compare to another emotion I thought I had lost over time. Hope.

Apart from the appearance of the new existence, nothing else had changed

Those were the first words I heard. I was confused, hopeful and scared at the same time. Then I saw flashes and blobs of different colours moving around. Seeing all this I started wondering, 'Is this what the outside world looks like?' At first, the voices were mumbled, but as time passed, they became sharp and lucid. My vision started to clear up, and I was able to see the details of every stroke of different colours.

It all seemed so fascinating to me since although this was similar to the vision, it was different. I felt like I was actually in control. Although barely, I could feel it. It wasn't like looking at the world from a cage.

Through these flashes, I saw a man with sharp brown eyes and black hair. He wore all white with a permanent smirk on his face. "It finally worked!", he exclaimed with his whole body shaking, barely able to contain the excitement. I was only able to look at him blankly as all my senses made it feel like I was underwater.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

I could hear my heart pounding in me. Each thump deafened me as it echoed through my mind. I darted my eyes around, trying to take in whatever I could, but everything was starting to blur as the darkness tried to engulf me again. I tried my hardest to stay awake, but my resistance was futile.

The moment I closed my eyes again, I heard a loud shriek, "WAKE HIM UP AGAIN."

I recognized the voice that belonged to the man with black hair I saw earlier. Without a moment's delay, pain that I was all too familiar with coursed through me again. This time, it was with such great intensity that I could feel my very soul flickering in and out of existence.

It was at this moment that anger fumed through me. It was at this moment that I realised that the people I saw earlier were the ones who put me into this void and subjected me to soul trembling pain.

Remembering all the loneliness I've felt since my existence, an unimaginable hatred clouded my mind. Every second I was enduring the pain, I was thinking of all the different ways to destroy them.