Chapter 28: I Trust You

*

You didn't know how you were able to not be sick when Alastor beamed you up.

You opened your eyes as you let go of the deer's arm. Before looking around you, you took a few moments to get used to the change in your surroundings by taking a deep breath and gently massaging your temples. You didn't notice it right away but the noise of the city was much more bearable, no skidding noises or car crashes, no sounds of fights or agony. No, everything was quiet. There was only the sound of wind and... of a liquid? Why was it unusually hot all of a sudden?

So it was with astonishment that you finally looked around.

Almost instantly your eyebrows raised in surprise. You were on the docks, in a part of the city you didn't really know, you might have been here once before but you didn't remember much about it.

The architecture of the bridges was quite similar to the ones in Paris, the only difference was that the water of the Seine had been replaced by a lava with beautiful colors. A soft mixture of red, orange and a golden color. It was quite disconcerting because this lava flowing calmly along the "river" had the same hypnotic and soothing light as the flame of a candle. It was so beautiful that you almost forgot Alastor. He had to touch your shoulder to bring you back to reality. You flinched and walked away from his hand.

*

"Sorry, I was somewhere else," you said in a neutral tone.

"Don't apologize my dear, I knew you would like this place, especially when I saw, not without great astonishment, the special attention you could pay to a simple little candle." The deer laughs with an almost arrogant smile, indirectly mentioning your dinner.

*

You were tempted to tell him that there was some reason why you preferred to look at a poor little candle, however you didn't really have the strength to get angry with him, you were really much too tired, and at the end of your tether. You just shrugged your shoulders with a false coldness and mumbled an "I see" in a tired tone.

The deer watched you quite annoyed by your lack of energy, nevertheless soon realized that he couldn't really blame you. He himself would be in much the same state of mind if he had been in your shoes. Oh, his teeth gnashed just thinking about it. He took a deep breath and then put a slightly friendlier smile on his face.

"Well, how about taking a walk? You can tell me what happened with our dear... pile of garbage." He said, pointing to a small bottle of water to help you come to your senses and soothe your stomach still sore from all the events of the day.

A small mocking smile appeared on your lips for a few seconds when your ears heard the demon's comment. You sighed and then started walking along the dock with him while drinking a little water.

Little by little you began to straighten your silhouette which was curved with defeatism following your discussion with Vox, and You gradually returned to your impassive and serious self.

Seeing the change in your posture, the deer played with his microphone as he walked.

*

"So, tell me, What happened exactly? Did he agree to play along?" He asked with a little excitement in his voice.

"... Yes, he agreed, however he soon realized what I wanted to do when he found out I was working at the hotel."

The deer raised an eyebrow and placed his hands behind his back.

"Oh, so I guess the terms of your agreement have hardened somewhat."

"Indeed..." You sighed, "The fact that I work with you hasn't made things any better, he really hates you."

"Ha ha, I hate him even more." Alastor laugh. "Vox has no talent with these technologies, there is nothing really entertaining, moreover there is no passion in TV talk shows or on the news. All these journalists always approach the same neutral face, the same tone, and simply recite their text like a vulgar soulless parrot, they bring no energy to the listener, it's monstrously boring." Alastor complained while moving his hands with disdain.

You contained a small laugh and then answered with a touch of humor.

"It's a good thing people like Charlie are here to bring a little more life to the set, isn't it?"

"Oh Yes, fortunately, although her speech was a nameless nonsense, I hadn't laughed so much since- " He suddenly stopped as if he realized something. "For a very long time."

You looked at him discreetly out of the corner of your eye, and then you easily understood what he was referring to. Curiously enough, you put a grateful smile on your face. Yes, he had been thinking about that awful market crash and the many broken families, yet he chose not to laugh about it in front of you, and you appreciate it.

"Even though I'm a little ashamed to admit it, I laughed a lot too. "

"Oh but you left at the best time darling! " exclaimed Alastor blinking at you in confusion.

"What do you mean? »

"Well, Charlie ended this interview by getting into a fist-fight with Katie Killjoy and burning his colleague, it was an awesome spectacle! A real heartbreaking passion was on stage that day! What a shame you decided to leave so quickly. "explained the deer with excitement.

You continued walking with him, keeping your hands behind your back and looking serious.

"Well, I left because I already knew that this interview was going to be a complete fiasco, there was no reason for me to stay and watch Charlie get humiliated any more. I had other things to do."

"Business, I presume?"

"That's it."

*

You were silent for a while and then you spoke in a slightly more serious tone when you suddenly stopped. At that moment, you two were hidden from the view of the other demons under an old stone bridge carefully carved with various statues of demons and fallen angels.

"Alastor."

The deer turned to you, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Yes my dear?"

"We... Well, we won't really be able to do what I planned to do with the interview."

The demon tilted his head to the side with a little white noise without taking his eyes off you. In response you sighed and looked away at the lava and the few boats that sailed on it, which seemed foolish to be human.

"Vox agreed out of interest. However, I had to promise him not to let you react to this TV interview. Otherwise... »

Your muffled little voice caught the deer's attention. He easily understood what you meant because you had the same depressed expression on your face as when he had asked you to have dinner with him. He tightened his grip on the microphone with bitterness as his smile became dangerously wide.

You were such a stupid woman!

"Otherwise you give yourself like a vulgar consolation prize, is that it? "In a grave tone that didn't bode well.

Your body shuddered in disgust at the sound of his voice, but you couldn't really tell him he was wrong. It was the truth.

"Forgive me, darling, but you're really stupid."

"Why, Thank you for being honest." You said ironically.

A little silence for a few minutes settled in and the deer sat down next to you.

"I don't understand you... No, I don't even understand why you're here."

Your ears pricked up violently on your head, you twisted your neck in its direction in confusion.

"You spend your time living for others, letting them use you. I've never seen you do anything for yourself."

"You're wrong." you answered softly.

The deer tilted its head in your direction and motioned for you to explain.

*

"When I worked in the mob, I had to keep my feelings for others quiet, I had to forget what empathy meant to preserve myself. I don't know what I would've become if I hadn't done that. I had to go deaf so that I wouldn't hear the screams of pain from the innocent people I locked up in tiny chests in inhuman positions for days on end.

I had to become blind when I physically and mentally tortured some of the victims to make them talk. I had to ignore the smell of burning and rotten flesh." You took a moment to calm down because you felt that you were shaking with anger. "Do you know what I mean? If I wanted to preserve what little sanity I had left, I had to follow orders like a machine would. So you're wrong Alastor, I do things for me sometimes"

Alastor grinned at the sound of your words.

"From the little I know of you, you have chosen to keep your feelings quiet just to do your job and get something in return, am I right?"

"Yes, at first it was only to protect my father, then there were Boris and Nicolaï."

"So that's what I'm telling you, even though you "preserved" yourself, you only did it for those you loved."

"Because they needed me." You retorted.

"What about you?"

"About me?"

"Didn't you ever wonder what you wanted? I mean, why didn't you just leave when you had the chance?"

"Because my father..."

"I don't care," Cut the deer with an unusually harsh tone. "Didn't you ever think that He would have been more than happy if you'd gone away from your town to live your own life? You know? Get a decent job, find love, do that dating nonsense, have a nice wedding, have kids, raise them, become a grandmother, in a nutshell... live for you, not him."

Your fists clenched in frustration. You bit your lower lip and held back your tears. Of course... He couldn't understand you.

"Do you think you're better? You depend on others too ."

Alastor laughed as if you'd just said the best joke he'd ever heard in his life. He readjusted his hair condescendingly and then asked you:

"Why, my dear?"

"Why did you work in radio? Simply because you needed attention. You wanted people to listen to you. You wanted people to look at you, to recognize you, to admire you. To put it plainly, the love of others makes you feel safe. You depend on other people's thinking, because if your listeners didn't love you, you would have been forgotten and you would never have had such a reputation. "You looked down for a moment to think about your words. "And even now, why are you even here? Why did you follow me? Why are you with me?"

You asked rigorously, locking your eyes with his. "Huh? Tell me why. If you're supposed to be able to do without others, and "live for yourself," then why are you here?"

The deer looked at you in amazement. He looked completely stunned, as if you asked him to solve an impossible calculation. He had never really thought about it... probably because the mere thought of this possibility made him... "uncomfortable". He had always preferred to reassure himself that he had a real talent for oratory and that he just liked terrifying people with sordid tales of murder.

"No, I got into radio just because I knew I was destined to work in it. After all, a lot of people envied-" He cut himself off abruptly when he realized his mistake.

" "A lot of people envied" your public speaking skills." You finished his sentence for him with a smile. "Surely some people must have denigrated you and demeaned you by telling you it wasn't a job for you, so you decided to prove them that they were wrong. You did everything you could to make your dream come true while listening to your mother's encouragement. Deep down, you wanted to succeed not only for yourself, but also for her so that she would be proud of you and happy. That's what happened, isn't it?"

You saw the shape of the deer tensed itself. Its hair was hiding its face, making it look much darker and dangerous. Its ears, once proudly erect on the top of its skull, were a little lower than usual, indicating that it was disturbed. He didn't even realize he was shaking. Well, it sounds like you hit a nerve. However, just as you were about to tell him to drop it, his ears suddenly popped up as if he had been stung by a wasp. He turned to you energetically and gave you a big sincere smile.

"Indeed, you're not fundamentally wrong."

You looked at him quite taken aback by his behavior.

"However, I don't think I'm wrong either. Maybe it's good to live for others, but if you forget to live for yourself I find it boring and completly senseless because you're wasting your life. Look, when you think about it, what could you have done if you had been free? "Asked the deer curiously, tilting his head to the side.

"What if... I had been "free"?"

"Yes, what would you have done if nothing had held you back in your neighborhood?"

You blinked, and your mouth opened slightly as you watched you dive into your memories. You remembered those moments with BF/N, or waiting to be a mother. However, you also remembered when you helped your boyfriend with his newspaper articles or sketches. You also remembered all the odd jobs and all the people you met.

"I... I wish I could help people, to be honest."

You heard Alastor sigh through his nose in disapproval. You could have even sworn he refrained from slamming his hand against his forehead. With a chuckle you explained yourself.

"No, I don't think I would have worked until I forgot "to live for me." In fact, there were so many jobs I wanted to do when I was young. But I really wanted to help other people, that's what I really wanted to do. Working in medicine, in education, in the justice system, in law enforcement, in charity, there were so many choices to achieve what I wanted."

You raised your head up and closed your eyes for a moment to think back to your old dreams that you'd long forgotten and the deer could see something unusual about you. Its bright red eyes widened at the sight of your smile. You really smiled sincerely, there was no sign of melancholy or hypocrisy, no, you really smiled, you looked happy. The deer's attention was drawn to your lips which were now stretched upwards... He won't admit it, even less in front of you, but you were beautiful like this.

"Well... I admit it." you suddenly said, bringing him out of his reverie. "If my life had been different I would have wanted to live my life, build my own family..." You stopped to mentally prepare yourself to continue your sentence without crying in front of him. "To have children and show them all the world had to offer, I would have wanted so much..." Your hands and your teeth clenched, but strangely enough, it only took a few seconds for you to return to a more positive face. "Well, you said it yourself, "There is no undoing what is done." "

Yes, It was true. You had agreed to defile your hands, your body and your soul, under no circumstances you could be redeemed.

Alastor stared at you for a moment as strange fish leap gracefully out of the lava.

*

"I would like to ask you a question."

"What is it?"

"What makes you think I will submit to Vox's will?"

You wet your lips and then you answered honestly.

"Nothing at all. You're free to do whatever you want."

A small white noise tickled your ears, indicating the surprise of the deer.

"I have a backup plan, I know a demon who owns a newspaper and Vox never said you could not react to a written article about the TV interview. However you're free to choose what you want this time." You said without too much emotion."

Alastor blinked in amazement, to be honest he didn't think you would be so bold as to counter Vox using this alternative. And he wouldn't have imagined for a second that you would give him the right to sacrifice you to Vox.

"So If I had understand it correctly, you trust me right?"

It had a long silence. A silence almost too long for Alastor. All his ears could hear was the sound of traffic and lava. No sound was coming from you, even your breathing was so weak that one would think you were supposed to breathe.

After what could be considered an eternity your lips separated.

"Yes."

The deer then felt an unknown feeling burst into his chest. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was still a little disturbing. He didn't know what it was. All he knew was that his smile had widened with great pride. Without really thinking, he put a hand on your shoulder and turned you in his direction.

"I'm so pleased, darling."

"Good for you" you replied with a faint smile. "To tell you the truth I don't really have a choice"

At this the deer held a little static noise in the back of his throat, then he stretched your cheeks to force you to smile.

"Come on, my dear, smile, you know you're never fully dressed without it."

You stared at his red eyes with annoyance but strangely his teasing expression and his playful eyes were stronger than you this time, you started smiling, and then laughing in spite of yourself. Oh Lucifer he really looked like a child sometimes.

Luckily for him, you hadn't noticed the deer's ears were trembling with contentment at the sound of your laughter, he would certainly have been mortified not to have been able to control himself fully in front of you.

"That's much better," he said cheerfully as he let go of your face. "Well, I think we should go back to the hotel and inform our dear princess of our plans."

*

He was about to turn his heels to continue his walk but suddenly your hands grabbed his jacket and before he could protest your lips gently landed on his. His body tensed and his eyes widened in amazement. His smile had almost fallen off!

Both of your hands clung firmly to his shirt, secretly refusing to let him move away from you. Gradually the deer's body relaxed and his hands unconsciously wrapped around your waist as he too closed his eyes and let his body guide him.

For your part, you hadn't even noticed that you had dropped your water bottle and it had rolled along the dock until it fell into the lava.

Honestly, you hadn't even noticed what you were doing, your body had acted on its own, it had followed this impulse without thinking, without bothering to think about the consequences of such an act, as for your reason, it was completely bewitched by this pleasant alluring smell that made your head spin and this soft warmth that gave you a well-being that you had only rarely known.

How long had this lasted? Neither of you knew it or even paid the slightest attention to it, you were just enjoying the moment.

The demons on the barges or on the boats that had seen you thought they had dreamt or had been a bit too much of a drunk, others were so stunned that they hadn't even been able to scream, and a little demon was so shocked by what he had just seen that he clumsily dropped his phone into the lava while trying to take a picture.

Unfortunately the bubble you were in burst violently because the horrible sound of a boat's foghorn horn sadistically destroyed your eardrums. You both came out of your state of trance and watch each other.

Wait... You were-

. . .

OH LUCIFER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE POOR FOOL?!!!

Your eyes widened like saucers to the point where you wondered if they were coming out of their sockets, and your mouth opened in shock. Of course it was unnecessary to point out that you were redder than the costume on the radio demon.

The "reassuring" element was that Alastor looked just as disturbed as you did. He had spasms that could certainly be of deep disgust at the opinions of the situation, and had a little redness on his cheeks. An abominable sound of a badly tuned radio coming out of his throat, it could almost have been funny because it sounded like he was desperately looking for a good frequency to talk on.

You took in as much air as you could into your lungs while raising your index fingers to get his attention.

"I-I-" Well, you admirably failed to control panic in your voice. "ERROR! I mean- uh Oh! Look at the time ! IjustrememberedthatIhavesomethingtodoathomeandit'sveryimportant!IleaveituptoyoutotellCharlieforme,itwasapleasuretalkingwithyouAlastorhaveanicedayBYE!"

("I-I-" Well, you admirably failed to control panic in your voice. "ERROR! Well I mean- uh Oh! look at the time! I just remembered that I have something to take care of at home and it's very important! I leave it up to you to tell Charlie for me, it was a pleasure talking with you Alastor, have a nice day BYE")

Without adding more, you walked in the opposite direction from him. You walked with a quick step and you were steeper than a corpse. You didn't even notice it, for the moment all you cared about was being as far away from this deer as possible. You would have been able to walk to the other end of hell if you hadn't made the choice to help the princess and your friends weren't here.

*

Alastor, for his part, remained nailed in place as if he had been put on pause whil watched your silhouette slip away with unspeakable disgrace. Finally when he came to his senses he brought two of his fingers to his lips with a completely dazed look on his face.

Well... it was an... "unexpected complication" he hadn't seen coming...

Suddenly his ears contracted when he heard a very unpleasant little sigh.

He turned his head towards the noise and noticed that his shadow was looking at you with a dreamy look, or rather... looking at your shadow with a dreamy look.

His mouth twisted in disgust, and he cleared his throat while staring at his shadow with reprehension.

The latter jumped up and looked at his master with embarrassment as if to say "I'm sorry."

The deer didn't bother to answer it, he made his microphone appear, snapped his fingers and disappeared.

*

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