Chapter 61: You Shouldn’t Run With Scissors, Things Get Messy.

Summary: Neverzone ... how fun and wild

"Seriously, would it kill him to clean out the fridge in a while!?" Star watched Kelly complain about Tad … again.

"I mean, it's just common sense." And her brother sticks up for Kelly … again. "I could help out if you need help."

"Nah, I'll leave all expired milk and sentient spores of mold to him when he actually comes back, we should focus on something fun until then."

 This entire sight was just painful to watch on multiple fronts, not just because of the frankly depraved reasons Kelly kept going to Steven, but also because her brother was more than happy staying gleefully frustrated in the friend zone. Sad part about it was that it was more than where Star thought she wanted to be with Marco.

Yeah, the guy finally got with his dream girl, the girl that Star actually HELPED Marco approach. It was just so endearing seeing the safe kid's confidence grow. And now all these feelings kept welling up inside that she wanted to pound to dust and have crushed underneath her heel … maybe she should have looked at that one spell in Cresenta's chapter about crushing negativity.

"Hey, where are the laser puppies?" Steven asked. "I thought they loved running around and stuff but I haven't seen them since we got here."

"Asked Marco to take them on a walk." Star shrugged. "They'll be fine right?" As they passed by the boy's room on the way to hers, they heard growling from Lion.

"Oh crap, Lion only gets like that when one certain person is around." Steven panicked as they came up to Marco's room, covered in portals that were opened everywhere, and a giant red swirling one that Lion was hissing at.

"Oh no … Marco got scissor happy." Star noted at the multiple portals.

"It's even worse than that…that's Heckapoo's portal." Steven clarified.

"Why would she even be here!?" Star shouted. "She wouldn't be that mad about Pony's scissors being used willy nilly, right?"

"... We do know those ARE Pony Head's scissors, right?" Kelly asked.

"..Agh! Give me a second!" Star dialed up her mirror to her non-human bestie. "Pony! Did you happen to steal that pair of scissors that you gave to me?"

" Hold up girl…doing my laps.." Her friend responded while munching on what sounded like chips. "Hm...oh yeah, swiped those things when H-poo was going to the bathroom at the bounce lounge."

"You stole from Hekapoo!?" She shouted. "One of the most powerful beings in the multiverse, and part of a commission we recently learned is full of jerks!?"

" …yeah, pretty much. Why? She never went after me and I held onto them for about a year before giving them to you."

Star angrily held up her mirror to the gaping red portal …. Which nobody was standing next to. "Agggggh! First Marco disappears and now Steven and Kelly are gone!"

"Wait, Q-fly and bush hair entered…ooh that's not good."

"Yeah, because now they're near Hekapoo!" She answered, grabbing her bag. "If she gets too close to my brother, then the whole Rose Guard secret jar is going to burst wide open!"

"Oh yeah, totally…also there's some funky timey-whimey junk that goes on when people go in that portal. Got stuck in a cave for a week there once, and I was only gone for like a second when I came out."

So that meant Steven and Kelly … dear corn how long has Marco been in there!? "I'm coming!" She shouted, jumping into the hellscape. She had family and friends to find.

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Kelly looked around at the land before them, covered in ashen-trees and burning ground all around. "Okay, we're in here … what now?" It's not like there were footprints.

"I'll just get Lion to sniff him out. You can do that right buddy?" The pink feline just laid down on the ground, looking like they had no intention of moving. "He'll get moving eventually. He's not exactly Heckapoo's biggest fan."

"Right, right." She looked around. "Then I guess our best bet is to ask a local." If they could find a town first. "Now where is the moss on the trees? We need to keep north."

"The moss is…" The tree that Steven pointed to suddenly burst into flames and got reduced to dust, before lightning struck it six times. "..not going to be found here."

"Then I guess we'll have to find a constellation to track." She looked at the night sky, seeing the images above staving and mutilating each other violently, animals devouring the humanoids. "… So you have any survival tips from your dad?"

"Hold on, I might be able to get something." Steven scoured through one of the branches that were scattered among the ground. "One of these we could probably use as a divining rod, which'll lead us to a water source as a start. Free water and fish there if this ends up being a long trip."

"Good, because I suck at this nature stuff." Kelly found a rock that didn't look like it was scorching hot and sat on it. "Tad always tried to drag me along to be 'one with nature', but there's a difference between him sitting on my head and letting a bird lay her eggs like a nest."

"Not as bad as you think. A tent and a fire makes it pretty fun when you're with someone experienced." Steven smiled, before frowning. "Weird, it keeps switching locations." 

"Let me see." She held it, as it pointed directly at her. She turned around, seeing it still focused on her. "… We're the only source of water here."

"So we're really in the middle of nowhere with no food or water or any idea where we are, dang it!" Steven snapped his fingers. "Why can't I do anything right anymore?!"

"You could … shapeshift your neck?" She suggested. "Get a better view of our surroundings, and see if there's anything ahead."

"Great idea! Thank you for being smart." It was more like having common sense, but she blushed to the compliment all the same. "Okay, long neck, long neck..like a giraffe." The boy's neck region glowed pink, and it shot upward like a geyser out of the ground. "Hey, I think I see a paved road over to the east! We can totally-AAAH!!" The pink glow suddenly turned green as the boy's head shot directly down.

"Steven, what the heck happened!?"

"I don't know, I suddenly felt something-ack!" The boy clutched his chest as the green glowed again, bits of his head and legs bulging and inflating like a balloon.

"Just calm down, just calm, it's fine." Kelly patted the boy's head. "Take a few deep breaths …"

"Okay…okay.." The boy calmed himself, the green slightly dying down as the inflation went with it."

"Alright, your powers don't work, this world has crazy logic, and we're all alone. I say we go back for help, THEN get Marco, okay?" Kelly asked.

"Right. Don't want to risk anything else going bad. Lion, why don't you.." The pink cat got up, and started running off…without them. "Lion! Get back here! Why do you do these things that you do!?!"

Kelly was stuck here. No Tad, no Stelly, just her, exposed and alone, forgotten the second something was needed, the second they couldn't find anyone, the second they went to sleep she would become dust in the wind and blow away father until the void gave her the sweet release of-

"Kelly, breathe! Breathe!" Steven shook her out of her dark trance. "I'm sorry I didn't think this through, and I'm sorry that we're stuck, but you're not alone! I'm here, and I'm always going to be here for you just like you've been there for me!" The best friend she's made within the past year, and probably her entire life, looked at her with eyes of reassurance and confidence. "And I swear to you, no matter what happens, I won't let us die!"

She leaned forward and hugged him tight. She couldn't let him go, she couldn't let go of her only friend at the moment. She couldn't let go of her best friend. "Thank you …" She could feel tears forming.

"No problem, Kelly. Now come on." He led her by grabbing her hand, and she wasn't in no rush to let go of him anytime soon. "There's a road we can follow. We start there, and we're one step away from leaving this place."

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"Come back you mangy cat!" Lion had been on the run as of late. In the flames realm, she had power, and unfortunately a companion of theirs was located here. So they were on the run for the time being while the others explored. 

The boy seemed to be in some kind of issue with the green maned female that he wished to court, so Lion figured the best thing for the two of them was to give them both some alone time while they finally completed the mating ritual.

Meanwhile Lion would have to double the task of finding the red hoodie boy, and avoid the flame woman. The former was tricky, their time here has changed their scent, so they needed something to track. The latter? "I will mount you on my wall!" Lion's been at this for years.

It seemed like a safe bet that this was one of the many duplicates the flame woman would make, it didn't make as many threats the flame woman would shout. Unfortunately, this happened to be a particularly stubborn one, as it was smart enough to enter another portal whenever he tried to roar at it, so it's been a rather tiresome stalemate he's been in for the last year or so.

Now Lion, unfortunately, ran into a corner, growling as he turned around. "Finally …" She cackled. "I have you now … time to cut you open and get some fucking ans-" A single breath blew away the flame. "Son of a-" The clone vanished, the masculine figure of familiar scent opened a book, crossing off something within.

"That makes her the three hundredth one. I'm over halfway there now." The voice was deeper, but the scent was bringing back memories of awkward nervous sweat and nachos. "What the...Lion! You're here! And..haven't aged a bit?" The figure slowly kneeled down and rubbed his mane.

The same couldn't be said of them. Lion tilted their head, trying to get a scent. "It's me Marco." … Lion was sure he didn't lose THAT much track of time, right? "It's been a while. Oh, actually got a pet of my own. This is Nachos." He gestured to a dracobike, which pants like a dog. "You didn't spend the last fifteen years looking for me, did you?"

Oh dear, the kid has been here for longer than they've been looking for him. No problem. They just needed to make a portal to the earth dimension, and things would be alright.

"Listen buddy, i'm gonna need you to take Steven and the others back home, alright?" … What? "I have something important to do here, and this is my life now. I've been here too long to just give it up now."

No, this wasn't what life was supposed to be like for him, he would soon age to dust while the others would barely be growing face fur. He needed to nudge him in the right path pronto. "Glad your so loyal, but I can't just ask my friends to keep holding out for me when I've already decided to stay. They probably have more important things to do than looking for one human kid."

The boy jumped onto the draco bike, revving it up. "Stay safe Lion, I've got a candle to blow … that sounded so much cooler in my head." They grumbled, driving off.

This was bad, the boy needed all his friends with him, and the blonde one still needed to complete her mating ritual with the red hooded one! He needed to find the boy and the bush quickly before they lost all chances of bringing any of them home.

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"Three years …" Steven grumbled. "No Marco, no Lion, no Star. Just us and the forest." He said, watching the constellations fighting each other. At the very least he had some nice muscles and a neck going for him now.

"Yeah….aside from the spontaneous bursts of combustion every tree and animal has around here, it's actually pretty peaceful." Kelly, in a very nice homemade forest outfit, laid down next to him. "I think I see the appeal of nature now…and not the hippie dippy stuff Chad went on about all the time."

"His name is Brad." Steven corrected.

"Really? Could've sworn it was Chad."

"Hmm … maybe …" It has been a while. "Why do you think Star hasn't come for us yet?" He asked. "Do you think she thought it was … not worth it?" He didn't want to think that, but nothing else came to mind.

"Not sure..I don't really have too many people waiting for me back home." Kelly sighed. "My mom's just a living house that I only see when I walk out the door, and my dad…not around anymore."

"I'm sorry.."

"No, no, it's nothing like you've been through, he's alive…just not around." Kelly corrected. "He'd show me these awesome wrestling moves when I was younger, and every night, he'd read me the book of 'Wool man do', the best fighting style Woolandia has to offer." Kelly's eyes got watery. "Back when I thought happiness wouldn't just…leave you without a word."

"You still shouldn't have to go through that." He told the girl, looking at her, how much she shot up within the last few years. "You should have had your bonding moments, not hang ups. You're an amazing person Kelly."

"Not as amazing as you Steven." She wiped off the tears. "You've been in the middle of probably the biggest family conspiracy of all time, between a war of magic and aliens; and yet here you are, keeping me happy and singing songs to help me sleep at night."

"Yeah, one of us needs to." He shrugged. "I just … we left so much behind … you know the earth is possibly destroyed now right? With the cluster?"

"I'm sure the Gems got it." Kelly said. "And i'm sure they have Malachite to … so just let go."

"Yeah, but-" Steven stopped talking, looking down to see Kelly straddling him. "Um … what are you doing?" He asked, hearing his voice crack as she stared into him with those black beady eyes.

"Something I should've done three years ago." Steven felt Kelly's entire weight on him as she caressed his face. "You know, during that game of truth or punishment, I lied."

"Wait, you almost got everyone killed because you didn't feel like saying you didn't like Brad?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. It was super easy to say you didn't like that guy

"I did it because I wasn't sure if what I felt could count as actual feelings…but these past three years, without Chad, without Stelly..I know they're real." Her face got supper close to the point he felt her breath. "And the truth is…I like you, Steven Quartz Universe Butterfly." The shock couldn't even reach his head as Kelly's lips pressed against her own.

He could feel fireworks go off inside of his head as they connected, smooth warmth on his face as caressed him. Steven's brain wasn't quite able to process the series of events, even as she pulled away for air. It was only then he realized he forgot how to breathe. "I … um …"

"Do you want to return the favor?" More than anything right now.

"Kelly.." He could only say her name as he leaned forward, the warmth returning. This was almost like fusion…but better. It was just him and Kelly getting lost in the moment, where he could gaze into those beautiful eyes. This alone made these past three years worth it..

" Grrraaagh!" And just like that, he was pulled out of the moment by the roar of a half welcomed sight.

"Now you show up!?" Steven shouted at the creature. "Just when we were about to-" The boy was cut off as Lion grabbed them both and shoved them onto his back.

"Where's he taking us?!" Kelly shouted.

"With any luck, wherever Marco's been." Maybe there was a chance for Steven to see Star again soon. Her not being here was the one thing that prevented this place from being paradise.

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Marco finally did it, he blew out the flames of the true Hekapoo. There were no more clones, no more fortresses, just them, alone. "You've done well Marco, you've definitely improved."

"Yeah, I had to in order to catch a dame like you."

"And you got some game to boot, well played." Definitely tempting, but he was definitely married to the adventure by this point.

"You know, sixteen years ago I would scream into the void about how I needed a break from adventure…turns out I had no idea what the hell I was talking about, this life is the best." And he had such great friends to get him where he was now, boy did he miss them.

She smiled, handing him his scissors, his name shining in the burning metal. "These are yours now. I, Hekapoo, seem you worthy of inter-dimensional travel."

"So this is what it's like to reach the end of the rainbow." The entire universe was now at his beck and call. The only question now was where he would head to now. He heard some terrifying tales about the land of Ooo, and he was eager to see it for himself.

The door burst open. "Come on Marco, where are you!?"

"Star!?" He couldn't believe it, it's been so long. She hasn't aged a day. "I can't believe it's you!"

She looked at him in confusion, before noticing his hoodie. "Marco?" A pink portal came in, along with Lion and … "Steven!? Kelly!?"

"Marco?!" "Star!?" The two of them said at the same time, the two of them being slightly taller than he remembered them being.

"What the heck is going on here!?" Marco shouted in confusion.

"Oh yeah, forgot to mention." Hekapoo spoke up, staring at the pink feline. "Time here works differently. Marco's been here for sixteen years, Star for … probably a few minutes?" Why didn't she say this before!?

"Yeah, just got here and blasted my way through."

"Wait, so the few minutes ahead we were of Star made us get here three years earlier!?" Kelly shouted. "You stupid cat! Why didn't you just take us to Marco to begin with!?" 

"Actually Quartz, I've been meaning to chat with you and look at your lion." Hekapoo stated in an oddly curious tone for a change. "Care to sit down for just a few minutes?"

"What…but…ugh.. fine but make it quick, my head's splitting from the time travel crap again." Steven groaned. "And I was in the middle of something amazing too."

"Right …" She looked over at him. "Why do you not have either of your parent's hair colors?"

The two Butterfly siblings looked like each other in nervous sweat before Kelly got between them. "He's half human, he's been going to earth to get to know his human father, Greg Universe."

"So the queen of Mewni had an affair shortly after Star was born?" Heckapoo raised an eyebrow.

"Like that's the worst thing a Butterfly has ever done in history." Star rolled her eyes.

"True …" Hekapoo agreed. "That's all for now." Hekapoo made herself a portal. "Do what you want Marco, those scissors are yours now."

Marco turned to Star, who had just been staring at his stomach with a blush for some strange reason. "So many abs.." The girl shook her head before slapping herself. "Sorry you got dragged into this mess, but now we can head home together!"

"Yeah.." Back home, a place that hasn't been on his mind for over a decade. What did he have there that he couldn't have here? He looked to his friends..the three closet people he's gotten to know…who after everything, still went through the trouble of trying to save him. "You're right, let's go home. Tad's probably going to get a laugh out of this."

"Who?" Kelly asked.

"Oh right!" Steven hit his fist against his palm. "That's what Chad's name was!"

"You forgot your own boyfriend?" Star asked.

"I had a boyfriend?" Kelly once again asked.

"I'm the only guy who remembered his name and we aren't even close …" Marco felt sorry for the guy.

"It's hard to remember things with a kiss like this." Kelly shrugged, grabbing Steven and-wow, they were going at it … hard.

"Marco, please make a portal so I can both coo at the cuteness and get away from seeing this."

"Not a problem." He did as he was told and jumped through, hoping that everyone would at least get a kick out of his new.. "what!? My hot bod! It's gone!"

"Hey, you still got a burn mark on the back of your head." Star pointed out. Oh he was gonna get back at that walking candle!!

"Aw man, I'm going to miss the height." Kelly came out next. "I guess I'll have to make due with hugging a smaller Steven for now." Looks like something good came out of it for one of his friends, relationship wise.

"Looks like three years doesn't change you at all, does it Lion?" They all stared at the boy. "What? Is my hair messed up like Marco's?" Despite everyone changing back … Steven stayed the same.