Chapter 103: Monster Bash

Summary:

How to have a monster party

Star held the off mike, looking at the crowd. "Alright, Ponyhead, Tom, I'm in charge of the party. That means if either of you drags me into doing something while something is going wrong, I will blast you." 

"Relax, babe, I know exactly how important tonight is, it's your big moment after all." Tom chuckled as he rubbed her shoulder.

"Yeah, take a chill pill. It's a party, leave the stressful junk behind." Ponyhead rolled her eyes.

"It's not just a party, it's the party of peace. Meaning we need to melt away all tensions. It's why I brought in the big guns." She turned to Quana, who was searching under a table. "Quana, you good?" 

"Yep, just need my pie." They looked around almost investigatively.

"What do you need a pie for?" Marco asked, before having one shoved into his face.

"To sweeten up your act." They made a drum sound rim by tapping their shoes, laughing. "But seriously though, this is serious business. If we can't make a good impression, then we have the next generation of both sides at each other's throats." They turned to Kelly, looking the most cleaned up and rested they've been in a while. "Thanks for being cool with this."

"No problem." They spoke both squeakily and dismissively. "I'm just gonna go stand guard and make sure nothing goes wrong, drag some trouble making bigots into corners and make sure to beat the sense into them." They still looked really awkward being here though.

"Ooof, first fight rough patches." Tom muttered.

"Nah, it's not a fight." Kelly waved off. "I just … really shouldn't have fusion on my mind … for maybe a few years."

"Oh yeah, Steven does that."

"Sis can do it too, cause we're awesome." Quana patted Star, now wearing a jacket that said 'cool girl here' with an arrow pointed at her.

"Ah …" Tom looked at her, flustered. "Um … during the dance … after it's all over … would you maybe want to …"

"Let's get the party rolling and see where the night leads us, hot stuff." Star winked at him. Definitely would be nice to do it during a non fighting situation.

"Wow, my second party in another dimension." Marco's invite for the night, Sadie looked around. "Definitely looks more fancy than the last time."

"Didn't we take her to the bounce lounge?" Ponyhead asked.

"That was quite a while ago, and she has a point, this party hasn't exactly lit any sparks yet." Marco muttered. She looked, and they were right. It looked more like a stand off than a party.

"Oh I can fix that." Quana pulled out a cannon labeled 'firework gattler ten thousand' and aimed it menacingly at the sky. "LET'S LIGHT THIS PUPPY!"

"Cosmic Ice storm Freeze!" Star froze the fusion in place. "I need you to be as focused as you can tonight, and that means no fire that can potentially burn down this ancient monster temple!"

Quana nodded their eyeballs as they chewed their way out of the ice. "No fire, you say? Okay, that's twisting my arms a little, but I'll see what I can do."

The fusion twisted themselves like a Tasmanian devil, becoming a blur of pink beige jumping in between the monster and Mewman crowd, wearing a pink tux, and having shifted horns and talons on their body. " Looooooooooook at me!" The staring and noise stopped, all staring at the monster like fusion screaming into-wait, when did they take her mic? " Tell me whaaaaaaaat you see."

"A monster?"

"A Mewman?"

"A demon?"

"A pink genie?"

"Am I gooooooood or bad?" They asked the crowd, some looking like they were about to answer. " Don't you juuuudggge so fast."  They held multiple fingers to everyone's lips.

"Oh, are they going to.." Marco asked.

"You know how effective music is when Steven's involved." Star laughed. This was going to get weird…in a fun way of course.

"Hey, hey, hey.." The fusion pointed to a set of drums that were now being played by Amethyst as Garnet held a guitar and Pearl had the keyboard. "I know you think you know me! You made your own conclusion!"

"You think that I look scary." They created an over dramatic image of a scary laughing monster as Mewmans huddled together. "Well, that's your own delusion."Before tossing away the cardboard cut out into the air.

"Listen when I tell you…..There's more than meets the eye!" They popped open multiple eyes on their body, which creeped even the monsters out as they took a step back. "So take a closer look to find a real good guy." They shoved a frog guy and Princess Arms together.

"We're not the bad guys." A monster copy of Quana shouted out. 

"We're the good guys." A Mewman copy of the Fusion high fived them. 

"No, no, no, no, no. Trust me, here we go!" They spun back together, snapping their hands as they slid across the floor. "I just want you to give me a chance! I know your body really wants to dance!"  Quana paired up Rich Pigeon and a Kappa girl together, and spun them on their feet like they were tops.

"So leave your judgment at the door!" Quana pulled out a bag labeled judgment and flung it out the door. "And get up on, and get up on, and get up on the floor!"

"We're gonna be good tonight." They danced in place. "Wanna get you feeling right." Dragging a lizard guy close and spinning him around.

"We're gonna be good tonight." Following that was Princess Spider-bite, who looked like she was in heaven. We're the good, good guys!" They twirled her up in the air and had her surf across the crowd.

"We're gonna be good tonight, wanna get you feeling right! " Amethyst joined in with the singing as the two shared a mic. " We're gonna be good tonight! We're the good, good guys!"

"Come on!" Star, as the head of the party, had no choice but make her own mic from her wand and lead the party. " Woo!"

"If you're feelin' good in here." They asked a prince, who nodded with a smile.

"I said if you're feelin' good in here." Soon Quana asked a Slime guy, who nodded as well.

"Oh yeah!" Quana launched the slime guy right at Princess Spiderbite, who's bug bites immediately disappeared upon touching the slime. " We're all here to have a good, good time! Let the rhythm move you and open up your mind!" They demonstrated this by opening their head, a double literally jumping out of it.

Sadie, with all the confidence she's gained in the past year, actually took Marco's hand and led him in the dance. Aw, good for them. Now maybe Star and him could stop feeling weird around each other romance wise. " Next time you see me in your neighborhood…Don't you be thinking that I'm up to no good!" 

"I just want you to give me a chance!" Tom grabbed Star's hand and finally pulled her into that dance he's probably been itching for all night. " I know your body really wants to dance!"

"So leave your judgment at the door!" A reluctant looking cousin Rocks looked like he was trying to ignore the entire party, only for Quana to launch him out of a cannon into the arms of a hairy looking monster, who only laughed and forced the guy to dance.

" And get up on, and get up on, and get up on the floor." They smiled widely, the audience finally looking like it's enjoying itself.

"We're gonna be good tonight! Wanna get you feeling right!" Quana danced themselves to the stage, and shifted their entire hand into a giant mic that they pointed to the grateful audience.

"We're gonna be good tonight! We're the good, good guys!" The audience sang right back. They were doing it! EVERYONE WAS HAVING A GREAT TIME!

"We're gonna be good tonight! Wanna get you feeling right! We're gonna be good tonight! We're the good, good guys." Everyone shouted, from the monsters to the Memans to the gems.

"Woo!" Quana shouted, getting that wild look in their eyes. " Again." She better go restrain them just a tad. " Gonna be good. Oh, so good"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (we're gonna be good tonight)"  The gems echoed.

"So good!"

"Oh (we're gonna be good tonight)" Star joined in once again, summoning a flying crystal ball into the air that shined rainbow colored light everywhere

"C'mon (we're gonna be good tonight)"

"So good!"

"(We're gonna be good tonight)"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh (we're gonna be good tonight)"

"So good!" Quana looked like they were going to paintball someone, only for Star to hold them back, with a look as they relented.

"Woah, yeah (we're gonna be good tonight, we're gonna be good tonight)" They sang together.

"So good!"

"(We're gonna be good tonight)" Pearl especially looked like she was getting into the keyboard. Huh, all those talks about being 'the renegade' may actually have some merit. Made her wonder why Opal appearances were so sporadic.

"Oh (we're gonna be good tonight)! Quana stretched out their arms and dragged Kelly from the door that she was guarding over, and despite the reluctance of the Woolet, she, like the rest of the crowd, was sucked into the infectious beat of Quana's song and personality in general.

"So good!"

"One, two, three." The lights sparkled, rainbows shooting everywhere as the chorus came back, everyone joining.

"We're the good, good guys!

We're gonna be good tonight!

Wanna get you feeling right!

We're gonna be good tonight!

We're the good, good guys!

We're gonna be good tonight!

Wanna get you feeling right!

We're gonna be good tonight!

We're the good, good guys!"

"Oh yeah!" Quana shouted into the crowd as they floated above the air, the crowd completely enamored by the performance. There was at least one Mewman standing right next to and talking with a monster. "Thank you, thank, you've all been a lovely audience! Just shout the name Quana whenever you feel like spicing things up again!" The fusion landed, reforming back into Steven and Jana.

Going by the fact the cheering only increased upon the fusion disappearing, Star would call this a complete success.

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Princess Spider-bite felt around her face. "They're cured …" All those bite marks she got over the week vanished in a flash. "Thank you, thank you! I didn't know Slime people's slime could do that."

"It's a common mistake most people make." The guy shrugged with a small smile. "My parents every night would tell me about all the folk tales people made, like we're made out of acid or something ridiculous like that. They were honestly more funny than offensive to hear."

"Well it's probably for the best." Spider-bite shrugged. "I mean, can you imagine what some assholes would do for a living cure?" Her first thought was living slave.

"Eh, I still know my way around." He shrugged. "Can fit myself into any hole I see … well, as long as my eyes can fit."

"Still more holes than I could squeeze myself into. Do you know how tight these dresses get?" She giggled as she pointed to the one she was wearing. "If they weren't so poofy they'd basically be my second skin by this point."

"Oh, so you mean it's not a fashion choice?" He chuckled. "It really brings out your eyes."

She felt herself blush just a little. "Thanks, I try my best to work with what I have. And your slime is really shiny and cool to feel. Almost felt better than a shower."

"Oh, thanks." His face became a darker shade, looking at the window as if it was interesting. "Cool party huh? I mean, when the Rose Guard's son is inviting you, you know it's going to be interesting, didn't expect to join hands signing."

"I mean, that was kinda the reason I signed the party to begin with … just never expected it to work." She admitted. "It seems so peaceful, Monsters and Mewmans."

"I know right? You hear your entire life a Mewman will beat you with a crowbar if you show get out of the cave, but the moment you talk to them, poof, all preconceptions suddenly vanish.

She snorted. "I don't even own a crowbar, 'it's not ladylike' mom says."

"Oh, so it's not ladylike to be strong and capable of defending yourself? Because that's the kind of girl I'm seeing right now?"

"You're quite the smooth talker, aren't you?" She leaned in closer. Who would've thought she was into sentient goo? Then again, her first crush wasn't the most conventional person in the first place.

"As smooth as slime." He laughed, leaning against the brick wall in a cool person pose, only for the brick he was pressing against to sink in, making him crash down a hidden stairway.

"You okay!?" She shouted.

"Yeah, can't feel physical pain!" He called back. "Just found this … hey who are … AAAHHHH!!"

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"You were on guard, how did you lose fifteen kids?" Marco accused as they went down the stairs.

"Blame Quana, they got me way into the mood." Kelly blushed. "You think that you're done with fusion for good, and then you get super enthralled into the magic of it by a rubber arm and you realize how much you don't want to mess up your second chance at your best relationship." Marco could relate to that feeling.

"Yeah … Starco was a weird moment." One he was able to push away since they'd been focused on Mina at the time. "So, where do you think this secret entrance leads?"

"It's an ancient monster temple, so if what I remember from Eclipsa is correct, probably a ritualistic room dedicated to monster deities of old." Steven recalled. "Quite a few pieces of art monsters made back then were usually to remember times of war and devouring."

"When you say devouring …" Star stopped talking as they came across a statue with an arm caught between its teeth. "Nevermind, just remember Star, it's old stuff." She slapped herself.

"It's actually quite tasteful once you look past all the gore." Tom commented. "Don't worry about it Star, the kids upstairs are having a great time."

"It's not them I'm worried about…okay, I am, but it's all the adults too." Star sighed sadly. "It's so hard to make people just…forget about the past problems, and I don't want this to turn into another one."

"It'll be fine, I'm sure it's just an animal or something." Steven said. "This place is abandoned, there's gotta be a few stragglers of wildlife hanging around."

"And we've taken out worse." Marco agreed, before stopping. "Guys, something's up ahead." He spent far too long in the Neverzone to not be able to tell. He put on his gloves, lighting up the fire and ice on them.

"Come on, let it be something big, large, and dumb. I'm craving steak." Kelly took out her sword and charged ahead..

And around the corner they saw the sight of a very familiar corrupted gem … being coddled by a very familiar bitch. "There there, Jasper, it's fine, these are just monsters. We'll execute them when the time's right." The crazy lady rubbed the beast's face almost gently. "I get it's loud outside, but you need to stay calm, the walls are fragile with age."

"This is…adorably disturbing." Steven whispered with a wince. "I don't know if this is progressive or regressive for her mentality."

"Nice to see even three hundred year old psychoes can be hypocrites too." Star agreed with a nod. "Okay, we're in no condition to fight her head on like this with the guests still upstairs. We need to find kidnapped teens and get mom and the gems to deal with this maniac."

"Sounds like a plan." Marco definitely liked seeing this side of Star grow more, the side that was capable of being a leader…it was pretty attractive.

"Let me try something." Tom pushed them all out, walking slowly. "Excuse me, mam?" Mina looked at him with confusion. "I'm Tom Lucitor, of the Lucitor family, allies of the Butterflies?"

"Hm…Rose's corrupting influence…Friends with the Butterfly's….young and stupid….three eyes and horns.." Mina cupped her chin. "Yep, you're definitely a Monster! Sic him, girl!" She ordered the gem, who began growling, and making their way to pounce.

"Wait no, i'm allies!" He waved his hand. "Remember, Jushtin made allies with us, Solaria's brother?"

"Solaria…" The Mewman warrior of old called off the beast of a creature and squinted her eyes. "My beautiful and all mighty queen! Who entrusted me to defend Mewni from all monsters!" She ranted crazily into the air. 

"Yes, and since it's your duty, why are you here, instead of doing the whole protecting Mewni thing outside."

The warrior held back Jasper for a moment as she smiled. "Well as I was processing how to make Rose suffer in the most heartbreaking and violent way possible." She started, as Marco placed a hand on Steven and Star's mouths. "I found monsters hanging around here. So I started locking them up here to be executed later." She pulled back a painting, showing off the missing teens. "They fell for a trap that thought peace could exist." The woman cackled. "As long as I'm alive, monsters will never be happy."

"That's great! Good for you! In fact, why don't we head out of this dank temple now and tell Queen Moon, a vocal monster hater, of your hard work!"

"That's a great idea." She smiled. "Let me just kill them first, I wouldn't want anyone busting them out." The woman cracked her knuckles as the teen's eyes widened.

"Wait don't-" Tom didn't get the chance to finish as the top of the ceiling above them crumbled, and an old rusty car crashed on top of the psycho woman and the corrupted gem.

"Okay, I don't want to jinx us, but that was way too convenient, even for us." Kelly rolled her eyes.

"Don't care, free them, before she gets back up!" Star blasted her wand at the teenagers to cut the binds, and they immediately scrambled back topside. "Now let's book it before anything else crazy happens!

"Wait …" Why does that car look familiar?

"Princess Turdina! Tonight you're going to pay for all that you've done!" A shrill old voice kicked down the door of the car, and out came..

"Ms. Heinous, are you kidding me!?" Steven called out. "Did someone extend an invite to every bad guy we've faced!?"

"Actually I still have that locator from Turdina's bobby pin. Not a place in the multiverse I can't find them." They shrugged. "But enough about me, let's KILL YOU!" Her face glowed white with clovers as her servant troll guy aimed a chainsaw at them while a half formed lizard man was tied to his back.

"Oh, Rasticore's almost back." Kelly mentioned as she met the chainsaw head on, blocking it with her sword. "You take a long time to heal. Your Quest Buy assassination was almost half a year ago."

"Eh, being around for five hundred years will do that to a lizard." They shrugged, putting more pressure and forcing Kelly back.

"And I'm out!" Mina shouted, shoving the car off her. "And … oh, I have more friends!" She smiled, before rushing over and punching Steven through a wall. "You hate Rose too?"

"Meh, I mostly hate the human boy over there, but I can crack a few eggs for an omelet." Heinous turned to answer Mina…who seemed to stumble back upon seeing the old woman's face.

"No..no, you're still around!?" Mina accused.

"I've been around for three hundred years." The old lady shrugged.

"Wait, three hundred!?" Marco shouted. "How, you're not immortal!"

"There's plenty of tricks that I am capable of! But you're not going to be around to see them!" Heinous grabbed him by the throat with…a clawed and furry arm. "What…no..no! This can't be happening again…not again!"

"Again, what do you mean again!?" Star shouted, trying to get some clear answers, only for the temple to shake and the wall, which had similar clovers covered on them, glowed as well, making it spit open to reveal another room.

"How many secret passages can one temple have!?" Marco cried out. Today was only getting crazier and crazier.

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Everything was noisey for Jasper … if that's what her name was. They couldn't quite recall if they ever had a name at all. The shrinking growing lady kept calling her that, and they didn't have a voice to say anything back, other than roars and growls. Everything just felt…fuzzy in their head. The only thing they knew was that they didn't like the color pink, and the shrinking glowing lady provided warmth.

Now everything became quiet, the new woman staring at the wall which matched her cheek. "Can we stop fighting and finally get a clear answer?" The blaster girl asked.

"This…this is my room…" The other older, furrier lady looked at the new room in awe and curiosity, much like Jasper was towards anything new. "This…this was my bed…these were my dolls." The woman picked up plush looking green and purple object

"They were what now?" The pink boy asked, the shield vanishing. "This was … your castle … monster castle …" He looked confused.

"Um … Ms Heinous, are you alright?" The short purple man asked.

"No … I'm not Heinous …" They looked dazed. "My name is … that." They pointed to a crib. "That is my name."

"What..?" The green bush squinted their eyes at the dust covered pile of wood. "Meteora?"

"I can't believe it, after all this time, after all that searching, I've finally come across the devil child herself!" The growing woman said with a delightful laugh and crack of the neck.

"So do you want to explain it to the rest of us?" The red hoodie asked. "Because I'm confused as heck here."

"That child is the abomination and stain among all of our people." The growing woman cracked her neck. "The daughter of Eclipsa and the prince of darkness! Half Mewman, Half Monster!" She pointed at the strange colored arms the woman had.

"WHAT!?" The pink figure and blaster girl shrieked at the same time. " Eclipsa's daughter!?"

"Eclipsa …" The lady looked at a picture. "Mama …"

"Truly a detestable creature, born in a way that directly insults and threatens Mewmans." The large lady moved. "I'll wipe you out for the disgrace you've placed on all of us!!"

"Not on my watch!" The pink figure glowed all over, and smashed into the large lady with a spikey ball.

"You always have to do it don't you?!" They punched the pink boy back. "Get in the way of every single thing I do!! I'll kill your friends and make you watch!!" She turned to them. "Sic Em Jasper!"

Jasper complied, mainly because it just felt right to rip apart these particular people in general. She aimed right towards the weaker looking ones of the group, the red hooded one and the talking bush.

"What's the plan here!?" The former shouted, throwing a cold punch to their face.

"Attack Mina and protect Heinous until we can get some real damn answers!" The blaster girl glowed as well, turning herself into a giant flying bug, before turning to the large lady. "STARDUST DAISY DEVASTATION!"

"Ms Heinous, we need to leave!" The purple one grabbed onto the hybrid's arm, dragging them to an exit.

"You're not leaving Meteora, not until I carve you insi-" She was cut off by a series of blows from the pink figure, which probably only moved her rather than hurt. "I've always hated that glowing trick of yours! So irritating!"

"Good, the feelings are mutual about you being invincible!" The pink one focused his hands and sent a pink bubble that exploded right in the large lady's face.

"Helping Ms Heinous of all people!" The talking busy swung that cursed sword at her with the hooded figure sending a series of kicks to her rump. "I know it's kind of our deal to help people trying to kill us, but this seems like a bit of a stretch!"

"Let's be honest!" The hoodie boy landed a few fiery blows. "It's less helping her and more helping us get some answers."

"I barely understand what's going on here in general!" The demon raised up fire from the dark depths of the underworld and blasted it at the large lady. "The only thing I do know is to hit the jerk trying to kill us now!"

"Traitor!" The large lady shouted. "You're not only letting the accursed child leave, you're helping Rose, the enemy!!"

"Oh for corn's sake!" The pink one covered their hands in bubbles, and started punching directly at the large lady's head. "I'M! NOT! ROSE!"

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It was really getting annoying to be confused with his mother at this point. "It doesn't matter if you have amnesia or not!" They grabbed his bubble covered hands, squeezing until they popped. "You have her powers, her companions, her enemies, and worst of all!?" She swung Steven into a wall. "You!" And again. "Act!" And again. "Just!" They grabbed his skull, dragging him through the stone. "Like her!"

"If it pisses you off, then that's a good thing!" Star shouted. "RASPBERRY RIBBON LASSO!" The multiple arms in her butterfly form shot multiple ropes that encased Mina from head to toe, and dragged Mina around the room in a similar fashion to him. "Everytime you fight us, Mina, you lose more and more! Just look at Jasper over there!" She pointed to the now feral gem, who was being held up by Marco and Kelly.

"You're helping the enemy too …" They got up. "Letting someone live who wants your companions dead just because you want information … typical Rose."

"I don't know what's going on here, other than I'm not going to let you kill anyone here!" Steven shouted as he formed his fist bubbles again, this time covered in spikes.

The wall busted down, Rhombulus standing in front with the rest of the gems. "What's going on here-Mina Loveberry?" He looked at the woman, who used the distraction to get Jasper free and send Marco and Kelly into a wall.

"I will capture and skin you, Meteora!" The woman shouted, riding the corrupted gem down the hall.

"Oh no you don't!" Star began flying from behind them. "We have to go after her.." She was stopped as Rhobulous froze her wings, making her crash to the ground.

"Will someone tell me what's going on here!?" He shouted. "I came by because I didn't get invited to a party being hosted by my Gem buddy-" He glanced at Steven. "Thanks for that by way." Then turned back. "-Now I see a Mewberty Star and Pink Steven fighting off Mina Loveberry, the hero of Mewni, and shouting about some crazy target."

"She's a crazed loon that's tried to take over earth and has been trying to kill me for the past few months!" Steven exclaimed. "She started kidnapping the teens from the party and was about to kill them when Ms. Heinous, the old saint Olga's headmaster barged in, and then Mina went on a rant about Heinous being Eclipsa's daughter!"

"How did she-Ah, I mean, we'll have to have a serious discussion about her actions during the next commission meeting." Rhombulous nodded like what he heard wasn't something insane and important. "In the meantime, the party's over. You're all technically trespassing anyways."

"Tom said this place was abandoned." Star explained.

"Abandoned? Don't you know that.." 

"SSSSSSH!" Rhombolous's hand shushed him before he could complete his sentence. 

"Right right … Anyway, sorry man." The man nodded. "I would let it slide but the commission isn't happy as it is …" He rubbed the back of his head. "I took Star's advice and threatened to release one of the prisoners … they called my bluff and in a panic I kinda did it …" The gems all stared at him, along with everyone else.

"Was it the nipple demon?"

"Yep..good news is that I know who the evil one is now…bad news is that he's now on the loose." He sighed. "Fifty seven civilizations eaten …"

"Agggh, this is terrible!" Star screamed in the air. "More family secrets, more questions, just…more awfulness in general!"

"Not this time Star …" Steven spoke with determination. "This time … we have answers."

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"Ms Heinous .. Ms Heinous." She heard her buttler call out to her.

"No."

"... No?"

"That's not my name." It never was. It was just the role she devoured. "I'm Meteora." The fur grew on her skin more prominently. Her eye's sharpened, her claws grew, and her tail was finally free to stretch out.

"So … half monster …" She turned to Rasticorn, who stared at her.

"Is it a turn off?" She asked, scratching the tree deeply.

"Not really…in fact it's kind of the opposite."

"Oh good." She would've ripped his throat out otherwise. "My name…my home…my family…they took everything from me." She looked into a puddle, and cursed the very sight of those Mewman marks. "Butterflys … they stole what was rightfully mine!" She slashed a nearby tree in half.

"If that is the case Mistress … what shall we do?" Her servant asked. "We can't simply take on an army of their size alone if revenge is what you seek."

"I don't need an army…I can take whatever I want." The marks on her face glowed even brighter. What was once taught to her to be a curse was now her greatest weapon. "I think it's time I go back to school…" There were just so many tastymorsels to choose from.