The Idiot Drunk Who's Immortal

Chapter 3

The nomu's headless body fell down, Tourmra staring at it, thinking 'WHAT, How is that possible! That was made to fight All might, ALL MIGHT! We-we should probably go now, don't want to know what'll happen to us'

While Aizawa was thinking 'wow, I see why Nedzu hired him now, he really is something'

"Is that really your best? Oh well, looks can be deceiving. Now, I have to ask you to leave, they will pay better in the long run." Ban said

Kurogiri needed no more reason to warp everyone (that was not hurt) on their side to their base, leaving the USJ in silence.

"Yay we're saved!" said m*neta (who doesn't deserve a capital m)

"Shut up pervert, you remind me of somebody I knew so don't speak unless you want to end up like that bird thing." Ban said, thinking of meliodas with a single very small tear falling out of his eye disguised as a laugh as he saw the face of the pervert, it wasn't unnoticed by shouta "don't worry, I won't kill you for that, you do your perverting much different than him, lucky for you anyways." Izuku and Aizawa noticed that he would actually kill for reminding him of some apparent dead pervert too much.

Later- teachers lounge.

"So when did he die" shouta said to Ban as soon as he entered the lounge

"Huh who die, do you mean that pervert I was talking about? He, unfortunately, did not die, just move away." Ban said, trying to not show any expression about talking like that to meliodas, failing to do so by itching his eyes as if he was tired.

"Don't lie to me Ban, When. Did. It. Happen." Aizawa said, seeing the disguised tear wipe.

"Okay fine, he did die, a long long time ago... " Ban said looking at the roof in sadness

"How long?"

"Don't know, nobody keep track of da-" said Ban before realizing that would probably give away his Immortality. "Didn't keep track of what?" Ban was silent "what. Was. it." Aizawa demanded knowing there was a secret "fine fine fine, ill tell you, but double my new pay, thirdy times the original, and no telling this to anyone, also you owe me a drink, thirty drinks." Said Ban, not knowing about an Izuku midoriya outside the door "fine, god nedzu is going to kill me when he sees the payroll" said Aizawa "well you know the fountain of youth?" Said Ban

"wait do you mean that fountain Juan Ponce de Leon was chasing after?"

"Oh yeah Juan, my third favorite drinking bud, I totally forgot about you, hahaha, the entire search for the fountain of youth was faked by him when I suggested a fake fountain of youth book, he was such a deceiving writer, I almost thought he was if america just by looking at the book he wrote, and he was with me the entire time!" said Ban, revealing that he was immortal, because Juan Ponce de Leon was born before quirks were even in existence, and nobody could survive that long without an anti ageing quirk or something like that.

"Wait, did you drink the fountain of youth?" said Aizawa, trying to get a good answer out of him

"Yes, I did *sigh* it was… " Ban then grabbed an old notebook, "ah yes, it was eighty-five-hundred-million-thirty-four-thousand-five-hundred-eighty-four years ago that meliodas died." Aizawa was completely shocked at how long a person could survive "but what if you got burned to death?" Ban said then "No, effect. Can't die, won't die" Ban thinks about the long time he had tried to die, every method possible, so much so that he forgot pain was painful, having a nearly infinite pain tolerance.

-Izuku POV

I was going to go home I swear, it's just that I heard something in the teachers lounge

"Okay fine, he did die, a long long time ago... " Ban's voice was heard, huh who died, how long ago?

"How long?" said Aizawa's voice

"Don't know, nobody keep track of da-" da what? Dates? But that would mean he was at least 23XX years old! And that was way before quirks came. I was trying to find anything other than dates that started with da and related with time

"Didn't keep track of what?" it might be dates, no that's impossible.

"fine fine fine, i'll tell you, but double my new pay, thirdy times the original, and not telling this to anyone, also you owe me a drink, thirty drinks." What is so Important that you would want a pay raise and drinks? I was thinking

"fine, god nedzu is going to kill me when he sees the payroll" said Aizawa said, unhappy

"well you know the fountain of youth?" so he is immortal, but when was that? I thought

"wait do you mean that fountain Juan Ponce de Leon was chasing after?" Aizawa said not really knowing why this had to do with the friend pervert

"Oh yeah Juan, my third favorite drinking bud, I totally forgot about you, hahaha, the entire search for the fountain of youth was faked by him when I suggested a fake fountain of youth book, he was such a deceiving writer, I almost thought he was if america just by looking at the book he wrote, and he was with me the entire time!" said Ban as if it was normal to just drink with a guy from pre-quirk history

"Wait, did you drink the fountain of youth?" did he? I thought

"Yes, I did *sigh* it was… " Ban then grabbed something "ah yes, it was eighty-five-hundred-million-thirty-four-thousand-five-hundred-eighty-four years ago that meliodas died." wow, that is a long time for grieving this meliodas, and a long time to live.

I decided to stop eavesdropping and go home

TBC