WISHES

My name is Andora junia Peterson, I'm 22 years old and my life is pretty much a living hell right now.

I'm sure you must be wondering why so, well just picture a girl laying on the floor in a pool of her own blood smiling like an idiot, sounds crazy right

I know

I'm still marvelled at how I used this two hands of mine to destroy my life beyond repair.

With all the warnings I kept getting from everyone, yet I still fucked it up.

They say love is blind but now I understand, I understand completely well.

Love is never blind but the people themselves are.

They are too blind to see that they are being damaged, too blind to see that they are being stabbed a million times in the back, too blind to see that the other doesn't care about them even if they where to kill themselves nothing changes, life goes on.

It's safe to say that I've learned that the hard way because I never wanted to believe it before but now I do.

I just wish this was a dream, but who am I kidding.

Right now I laughing at my stupidity and foolishness. How could I be so stupid to waste 6 years of my life with that bastard only for him to be the cause of my death

I was so desperate for love that I failed to realize that it wasn't real.

Just fantasy.

A fragment of my wild imagination.

And I'm here dying both physically and emotionally.

I have a lot of regrets but I'm not going to say the words 'if I had known' or 'I should have listened' because it only hurts more when I do that.

I couldn't count the times my parents warned me.

For Christ sake I ran away from home all because of him.

I shut my family, my friends and my loved ones out all because of him and look where I ended up.

On the floor, in a pool of my own blood, half dead.

But I can't even feel any physical pain because the pain in my heart is a million times worse than it will ever be.

Nothing can ever be compared to it, frankly speaking.

I just wish that all this is just a dream, no scrape that, a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from by dawn, because I don't want to die like this, if anyone had told me 6 years ago that I would end up like this,

I would call the person insane and even offer to pay for his psychiatric medical bills as crazy as I may sound knowing myself I would do that.

But you know what, I regret that no one did that, no one woke me up for my nightmare.

Who am I kidding, that's what everyone has been doing for the past years until I shut them out completely again all because of him.

To all this girls out there in a similar situation no man is worth cutting off those who truly love for

I repeat no man at all

So I guess this it

Thanks for listening to my pathetic story and for being my audience while I take my last breath.

It's truly a honour to do this.

I wish I had more time but I don't so no more wishing for things that can never happen but just one last minute of wishing wouldn't hurt, would it?

Sigh, goodbye world, I wish I had more time to explore you to my hearts content.

Goodbye mum and dad, I wish I had more time rewrite my wrongs towards you, to be the daughter you would have wanted me to be but I guess not.

Goodbye Stella, the only true friend I had, well I would say more like a sister, she was the best friend the world could give. I wish I could be that friend who you knew me to be.

And lastly goodbye Jason, thanks for everything I have every cause to hate but I don't cause I brought it upon myself

But just so you know KARMA IS THE BITCHIEST OF ALL BITCHES.

Lots of love

Andora Peterson.