Dekapente [ 15 ]

"Where are we going, Tristan?"

He squeezed my hand as he glanced at me over his shoulder. "Wait and see, αγάπη μου. It's meant to be a surprise." He carried on leading me through the snow, but I slowed down when I noticed that the ascent was slightly steep.

The thought of slipping crossed my mind and I stared at Tristan, wondering how he was walking so fast. He was taller than me so of course, his steps would be wider, but sometimes it was like his walking pace was my running pace. Observant as always, he turned back to me and glanced down at my shoes.

"You know I did get you proper shoes, right?" a small smile adorned his face and he let go of my hand, turning around to take off his backpack. "I'll carry you, come on."

When he handed me his backpack, I fastened it around my back before placing my hands on his shoulders to hoist myself up. Wrapping my arms around him, I held on tightly as he continued walking as if I didn't weigh anything at all. 

The only thing I could focus on was the strength of his scent. Being so close to him meant that he was the only thing I could smell. From the moment I allowed myself to relish in the comfort his scent gave me, it was like I would never smell anything better. 

My recent realisation that I really wanted Tristan made me notice just how good he made me feel. I would be a stupid woman not to give him—and us—a truly fair chance.

Ducking my head slightly, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. I lingered just so I could see the smile pull at his lips, and returned the expression when he squeezed my thighs in response. "Thank you, Tristan."

He brought my legs tighter around his midriff as he extended a hand out to grab a tree branch as leverage. I almost squeezed the life out of him when he crouched down and leapt into the air. I was so unaccustomed to snowy and mountainous terrain and that naturally lead to fear. 

I wouldn't let go of him and I figured my grip was bordering on painful when his fingers curled around my wrists. "I'm sorry, Kara." He apologised, coaxing my hands apart before he kissed both of them. "Don't open your eyes yet, but if it's any consolation, we're here now."

Keeping my eyes closed, I felt Tristan spin me around to rest against his chest before he placed me on the floor with strong hands at my waist. Taking a deep breath in, I noticed how the air was crisper and cleaner than it was where we started. 

His hand moved to cup my cheek and he caressed under my eyes with his thumb. "Okay, open them now."

Opening my eyes, I first looked straight at him before my gaze flitted up to the darkening sky. Gasping in wonder, I stared up at the Northern Lights and was rendered speechless. The sun had set on our way up and I had never been so high up that late in the evening. 

"How have I never seen this before?" I questioned, dragging my gaze from the lit sky back to him. "Tristan, it's beautiful."

He smiled tenderly at me and lightly caressed my face. "It is." He glanced up and his smile widened. "I always try and come up here at least once a week to think. I thought you'd like it too."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stepped up onto my tiptoes to gently rest my forehead against his. "I love it, thank you so much."

Without responding verbally, he curved his hands around my waist as he closed the distance between us. His kiss was brief but I was left dizzy anyway. Whenever he touched me, it was like I couldn't think. I was left even more speechless when he spoke. 

"Ask me anything you want to know about me, and I'll answer." His crystal blue eyes seemed even more blue against the stark greenness of the Northern Lights, and I stared at him silently for a few moments. 

"Anything?" I uttered quietly, stepping down to my normal height. When he nodded, I thought of the question that had been on my mind all day. "Why hasn't this pack had a Luna in almost two decades?"

Tristan must have known the question was coming, or he must have prepared himself for the worst questions because his facial expression remained the same. With a light sigh, he turned to look up at the night sky. "The last Luna had been my mother, but she died and that marked the beginning of an end." He glanced at me briefly. "I'm guessing you want to know about the war, right?"

From the side of his face, I could see the corner of his lips turn down into a deep frown and I brought his arms tighter around my waist before I lifted a hand to his hair. "I don't want you to be upset, we can talk about other things."

He shook his head lightly. "I think you need to know what happened, Kara. So you know the full truth and not what the rumours have said."

I held my breath as I stared up at him. Maybe it might not have been a conventional first date, but something about Tristan letting me in on his past was highly comforting. It meant that he was trusting me enough to know the real him. 

The fact that I didn't have to ask meant he was making the first step and this time I couldn't run away from him. 

"My mother and father led the pack together until I was six years old when my father died in a rogue attack." As he began, I could see a shadow of grief cover his face but his eyes were hard and as cold as the day I first saw him. This Tristan was haunted and didn't look at all like the man who had just kissed me. "To ensure the safety of the pack, my mother married the old beta. That's when the nightmare began."

My heart dropped at what I had already heard. I couldn't imagine the pain his mother went through after losing her mate. Just the thought of never seeing Tristan again sent a sharp pain through my chest. It was physically painful to think about. 

His eyes remained cold and I knew that he wouldn't look at me. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to look at me with eyes like that—it would scare me, and he didn't need that. 

"He ruled on fear and maintained his power by making sure I had none. He was scared that I would grow up to overthrow him and reclaim my birthright so he isolated me. I was kept in my room alone for most of the day and he would make sure that no one spoke to me." His hands closed into fists against my back and I watched the muted anger flare in his eyes. 

"And no one stopped him?" I quietly asked, staring up at him with a deep frown on my face. My heart broke and what scared me was this was only the beginning of the story. 

Tristan shook his head but still didn't look at me. "No one could. He was a violent and impulsive man. He had always wanted my father's title and when he became the alpha, he got worse. The pack was frightened of what he would do, and I was just a little boy. My mother was too heartbroken over my father's death to do anything, but I don't blame her." He stepped back and withdrew his arms from me, staring up at the lit sky with a haunted look on his face. 

I had an odd feeling in my stomach. 

"My mother died a year later and he gained total control of the pack. He created an alliance with the neighbouring pack at the time and they both ensured that it was within both their interests that I stayed weak. I wasn't fed half the time and I still hadn't come to terms with my mother's death. This carried on for years and I had planned on running away before my first shift until four pack members at the time took pity on me and helped me behind his back. They would give me medication, sneak in food, and teach me basic defence skills. He never once visited me so he couldn't see me get stronger until it was too late."

I held my breath in anticipation.

"The day I shifted was the first day in a long time that he came to see me. He wanted to revel in how weak I was, but he was shocked to see I was healthy and somewhat strong. Seeing his face angered me and I attacked him on pure instinct, catching him off guard. Everything he had made me feel for the past twelve years came back tenfold and I killed him within seconds."

I could visibly see the murderous look on his face and I stared at him with parted lips as he seemingly lived through it all again. Stepping towards him again, I quickly wrapped my arms around him in an attempt to calm him down and it took a few moments before his breaths levelled out. "Tristan, please calm down. You don't have to tell me any more, it's okay."

His tense shoulders relaxed slightly and he slowly curved a hand around the back of my head. "Kara, I'm almost done. I want you to know."

Pulling back, I stared up at him with tear-streaked cheeks. My heart broke for all of the pain that Tristan had gone through and I hated myself for ever judging him. Lifting a hand, he wiped my tears away and pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

"Don't cry over me, αγάπη μου. Please."

Swallowing down the lump of emotion stuck in my throat, I buried my face in his chest as he continued. 

"Once he died, the pack rallied around me and the warriors taught me how to fight. I had only four days until the neighbouring pack's alpha would find out about his death so I trained all day and night. I picked everything up quickly, and when the neighbouring pack found out, that's when the war began. It was complete bloodshed for a month and when I saw that my people were dying, I had to put an end to it all. I challenged the alpha to a fight to the death and while he was certain that he would win, I killed him within minutes. My rage knew no bounds and just like that the war was over."

I listened closely and noticed just how twisted the rumours were. They had painted Tristan as the bad guy when he was the one that had suffered the most. 

"I gave the neighbouring pack a choice—accept me as their alpha or leave. I didn't have to do anything for them to swear their allegiance to me. Their alpha had been just as evil as the man who was supposed to be my stepfather, and I had wiped out two tyrants. There were some who objected and were still on their side." The same look he had on his face when I asked about the kids' parents returned. 

My heart plummeted to my feet. 

"They killed the only people brave enough to save my life. And because of that, Luke, Arianna, January, April, May, June and August will never know their real parents. I killed their attackers after that to ensure the safety of the kids and the rest of the packs."

I tried to keep my tears at bay, but the only thing I could think about was not only did Tristan suffer for most of his life, but I had lived my life unaware that my mate had come an inch within death for years.  

"And for the past six years of my life, I've been making sure that my pack is never oppressed again. I don't rule on fear, I rule on love and respect. The day any of my pack members truly fear me is the day I become exactly like that monster."

Grabbing his face in between mine, I stepped up and silenced his sigh with a hard kiss to his lips. He immediately responded and kissed me back with everything in him, lifting me into his arms. When I pulled back, I stared into his icy blue eyes and watched as they melted as he looked at me with a sense of tenderness I would never get tired of. 

"You have a heart, Tristan." I gently knocked my forehead on his. "That's what makes you different. You'll never be like them."

A soft smile pulled at his lips and he brushed his nose against mine. "Kara, it'll be because I have you. You are what makes me different. A mate was the last thing on my mind since forever, but it all changed when I saw you. You make everything better."

My heart warmed and I couldn't help but return the smile. Pulling him into a tight hug, I couldn't help but feel so grateful that he was still alive. I saw first hand what it was like to never meet your mate. My mother might have never shown it, but she didn't seem entirely happy and I knew that it would be different if she had her mate. 

But there I was, only just three weeks and a half ago, not wanting him with everything in me. It was only then I realised that my words must have had a painful effect on him. For the majority of his life, he was robbed of not only his parents' love but of a fair chance at being alpha. I couldn't believe that I had been just another person who thought of him as a monster when he was anything but. 

I hugged him tighter at that thought, unable to stop my shoulders from shaking. His hand caressed my hair and he simply just held me in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to my neck. 

"Kara, please don't cry. It breaks my heart." He murmured against my shoulder, hoisting me up as I wrapped my legs around his body. 

I sniffed as I pulled back to look at him. "I'm sorry for every mean thing I've ever said to you, Tristan." I pursed my lips as I blinked harshly. "I'll never hurt you again—I just hope you can forgive me for it all."

He smiled softly and tipped his head upwards to kiss my forehead. "Kara, I forgave you the minute you decided to give us a chance. I could never stay mad at you—one look from you and I lose control. I'm completely yours."

I knew that knowing the truth of the war meant Tristan was offering his mind, body and soul to me on a silver platter. The thought might have scared me a few weeks ago, but now I wanted to do nothing but take him in all of his entirety. 

"I choose you, Tristan. From now on, I'll always choose you."