719. Chapter 719

After Limelight

Episode 6.13

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: No, it's a person who sort of looks like me that owns Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: Several people have asked me where I get my ideas. I have no idea where this one came from, but it sure wasn't from watching Limelight.

There was a knock on her door and soft voice asked, "Ms. Katic?"

She turned around and smiled. "Oh, hello. Come in please."

She held out her hand to shake his, but instead he took it and kissed her hand. "I just wanted to tell you how happy I am to be guest starring with you on Castle."

Stana smiled. "I have to admit that I was a little surprised when they told my you'd be on the show, Mr. Coyote."

"Oh, please. Call me Wile E., everyone does."

"And you're not at all what I expected."

He laughed softly. "I know you were expecting some two dimensional character that didn't exist outside of the silver screen. But, computer generated imaging has come so far in the last few years that I can be right here with you. And I've really wanted to stretch myself as an actor, so I've been looking for a vehicle that could show my range. On Castle, I'll be a red herring, who looks guilty in the first half of the show, but later is shown to be innocent. And, of course, when I found out that Quentin Tarantino was directing this episode, I told Sam, my agent, that I just had to work on this one, even if I was only paid the SCAG scale."

"SCAG?" She asked, frowning slightly.

"Screen Cartoon Actor's Guild. Not as big as SAG, but both Sam and I got in on the ground floor, so to speak."

"And Sam is?"

"Yosemite Sam. Oh, I know. Everyone thinks he's some sort of wild man, but beneath that bushy red hair is a brilliant business mind. He's a rising star at Duck, Duck, Goose and Pig. Um, that's Daffy, Donald, Granny and Porky."

"So what's your co-star doing in the hiatus?"

"RR?" Wile E. asked." He was trying for gig on Dancing with the Stars, but none of the professional dancers could keep up with him. He's really fast, you know. But it turned out to be a lucky break. He'll be a recurring character on Game of Thrones. He's going to be a henchman to some sort of evil wizard or something. It's not a big part, but as they say, there are no small parts…."

"Only small actors." Stana finished for him.

There was another knock. "They're ready, Ms. Katic, Mr. Coyote."

When they arrived on the set, they found Jon Huertas arguing with Quentin Tarantino. "Look, I know you're a famous director and all, but this is way out of character. My character is former Special Forces and a top homicide cop. Do you really think that …" He pointed at Wile E. "…could take me in a fight?"

Admittedly, Wile E., while dressed in a nice, conservative blue suit, was a rather skinny fellow. However, he just smiled at Jon and snapped his fingers. When Jon looked up, he saw an Acme safe falling on him. He tried to move out of the way, but failed. The safe drove him through the floor of the studio.

Wile E. walked over to the hole and looked in. "Oops." Then he reached down in the hole and pulled Jon out, none the worse for wear. "Acme safes are the safest I've ever worked with." He grinned. "Did you see what I did there? Safes? Safest?" He then pulled up the hole in the floor, shook it out, folded it up and put it in his pocket. The floor was none the worse.

Jon shook his head. "Okay, Mr. Tarantino, you two have convinced me."

The scene was shot and the cast took a break. Seamus Dever was going over his lines, as the next scene was Ryan-centric and he wanted to nail it.

Wile E. Came up to him, now wearing a trench coat with a cloth cap pulled down over his eyes. He began to sing:

"In Mount Joy jail one Monday morning"High upon the gallows tree"Kevin Barry gave his young life"For the 'cause of liberty."

"Boyo," Said Wile E., "Oi've been thinkin' of doin' a remake of The Informer, the John Ford classic fra' back in Nointeen Thurty an' Foive. Oopdated ta the recent Troubles in Ireland, ye knows. Oi've already got Jessica Rabbit writin' the screenplay. Sure, an' when a lass is oe'r forty in this toon, she needs ither work. Oi'll be playin' Gypo Nolan ta be sure, but Oi needs someone ta play Frankie McPhillip, tha fugitive what Gypo informs on. Will ye think o' it?"

Seamus looked up from his script. "Have your people call my people, okay?"

"Seamus," Said someone, "they're ready for you." Seamus Dever smiled at Wile E. and left. Wile E. mimed "call me."

Quentin Tarantino was going over the next scene. "Detective's Beckett and…." he looked at Wile E. "Detective Kangaroo?"

"I'm trying to avoid type casting here, boss." The coyote said.

Tarantino shrugged. "You're having breakfast at Remy's when disgraced Detective Demming and Meredith stick the place up. Everyone ready?'

The scene began with Demming and Meredith pulling their guns and telling everyone to start handing over their cash and valuables.

"Honey Bunny." Said Demming, "I want you to go back and get Kate Beckett's cash and her engagement ring."

Meredith walked back and stood by Kate and Kangaroo. "What's in the case?"

"Rick's laundry." Kate snarled.

"Open it."

Kate did so and the eeriest golden glow came from the case.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"It's Rick's laundry."

Meredith leaned forward and inhaled. "I love the smell of Rick's laundry in the morning. It reminds me of…Rick's laundry in the morning."

Regrettably, Meredith leaned too closely to Kate. She quickly grabbed Meredith's gun hand and pointed her own pistol and Meredith's head."

Kate smiled. "Do you read the bible, Meredith?"

"Every day." She smoothly lied.

"I have a favorite bible verse. "The path of the righteous woman is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil women. Blessed is she who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for she is truly her sister's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My sisters. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in her ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil woman. And I'm the righteous woman. And Ms. 9mm here... she's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous woman and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil women. But I'm tryin', Meredith. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd. But, I'm not trying that hard."

Kate fired the gun the Wile E. had given her and shot Meredith's head clean off, then shot Demming's off as well. The heads rolled around while the bodies of the two tried to find them.

"Acme products are the best." Wile E. said. "They'll be fine as soon as they get their heads back on."

Regrettably, they each got the other's heads on, which caused some problems which Mr. Acme had to come and fix himself.

With the scene over, Molly Quinn came running up to Wile E. "You need to talk to your agent, that Sam fellow. He says he loves redheads and won't leave me alone."

"Sweetie pie! Where are you?" Cried a familiar voice.

"I'm out of here." Molly said and quickly left.

"Sweetie?" Yosemite Sam called when he walked on set.

Luckily Susan Sullivan was on set and attracted Sam's attention.

"Why, hello, big boy." She said in a sultry voice.

When Sam walked over to her, she hit him over the head with an Acme frying pan and then put him on an Acme rocket headed for Mars.

Stana Katic looked at her costars. "Does anyone need a drink after this?"

They all did.

Author's note: Did I say a couple of days? I don't know what I caught, but it is miserable. My son came down last Thursday to catch some spring training games with me. We saw one game before we both got very sick. He was supposed to fly home on Sunday to go back to work, but didn't make it out of here until today (Wednesday.). I'm posting this one, but I still feel lousy, so I don't know when the next one will be up.