216. Chapter 216

After Kill Shot, Yet Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Put a round right…Um, that is, shoot near me if I claim to own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Detective Kate Beckett hefted the rifle. Espo was right. It was just a lump of steel with no power to injure her on its own. She had no reason to fear it. The person who had held the rifle and the one holding a rifle somewhere today in New York wasn't some god. He was no different than people she'd already put behind bars. "Thanks, Javi." She muttered.

Esposito nodded. "Now let me tell you a little story."

"A story?" She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really. And like all good stories, this one has a moral." Espo looked down, gathering his thoughts." I didn't start out in Special Forces. My first tour in Iraq was as an infantryman, 173rd Airborne Brigade. We had an embedded reporter with our platoon, Chris Stewart. He was a photo journalist and this wasn't his first rodeo. He'd been in the Balkans and in Africa, and had been shot at. He was a good guy. Never complained." Esposito laughed. "Well, he didn't complain any more than the rest of us did and he helped out when and where he could. He had even learned a few tricks of the trade that we didn't know."

"Any way, we were dug in one night in some god forsaken place in the middle of nowhere, and we're all sitting around, eating, talking about home, and whatever. Out of nowhere, Stewart apologized to us."

"Why?" Kate asked, not sure where this story was going.

"That's what we asked him. He said that he was apologizing because he had come to realize he was a danger to us. He wasn't trained like we were. He wasn't in as good physical shape as we were. He didn't think like we did. He didn't react like we did. He didn't move like we did. And, he didn't carry weapon. So, if things really turned to shit, he couldn't help out. It wasn't like the Iraqis weren't going to shoot him just because he was a reporter."

"We thought about it and decided he was right. But, he was doing a good job and we liked the idea of people knowing what we were doing. We told him to forget it."

"And the moral to this story is?" Kate had a good idea where this was going, but wanted to hear it from Esposito.

"We have our very own embedded writer, don't we? He isn't trained like us, and he doesn't carry a weapon."

"Castle." Beckett said. "So?"

"You screwed up on your first case back. The first time that punk pointed a pistol at you, you froze. When Mitch Yancey drew down on you with a shotgun, your only backup was an unarmed writer. And don't tell me that you haven't fallen apart a couple of times on this sniper case."

"Damn it, Esposito! You get shot in the heart and try to live a normal life as a cop. You try it sometime!" Kate said angrily.

"I'm not criticizing you. I'd rather have you leading this team than anyone else in the NYPD. All I want you to do is remember that you have an unarmed, untrained partner."

"Untrained? How many cases have we solved because we have Castle with us? How many killers would be out there on the streets if not for Castle? And if you're so damned worried about how I function in the field, maybe you should stop following me, too."

"Castle is a very, very smart man. And he knows a hell of a lot about all sorts of things. And that still doesn't make him a trained cop. Plus, I signed up for this. I'm with you until the wheels fall off. Ryan, too. "

"Castle signed up for this, too." Kate snapped.

Espo laughed. "I'm not stupid, Beckett and neither are you. He's here for one reason. He's here for you. And not just to get you in bed. No one would hang around this long and go through this much, just to get a woman in bed. It's been, what? Almost a year since he broke up with Gina? I haven't seen anything that indicates he's been with anyone else. Not so much as a date, let alone anything longer term. So, just in case you haven't noticed, and even if you have, he's in love with you."

"My relationship with Castle is…complicated."

Javi nodded slowly. "Okay. I can see that. But, I'll tell you what isn't complicated: Death. You lost your mom. I lost people who were as close as brothers to me. I don't want to lose Castle."

"And you think I do?"

"I think you're obsessed with your mom's case. I think it makes you lose perspective. You think of Castle as one of us because you need him to be one of us. But he's not one of us. He's in a hell of a lot more danger than any of us."

"Well what the hell do you expect me to do about that?"

"I've been paying attention to you and Castle. My opinion is that you aren't really interested in Castle, except as your partner as a cop. You don't love Castle and I'm not sure you would ever allow yourself to love Castle. You've been at this for so long that if the guy who ordered your mom's killing walked in and surrendered, you'd still go on just the way you always have. I know it'll be a problem, but you should just kick Castle to the curb."

Kate laughed bitterly. "And how am I supposed to do that? I can't even get Castle to stay in the damned car when I tell him to."

"Like I said, Beckett. Neither one of us is stupid. How do you get rid of him? The same way you did the last time. If you'd have stayed with Tom Demming for another six months, do you know what would have happened? When we found Castle with that murder victim, he would have come in, given us his statement and then walked out of the precinct and we'd have never seen him again. End of problem. Just do something like that again."

Kate stared at Esposito and then spoke. "Espo, thanks for the talk about the rifle and everything. It was a big help. As far as he rest, how I run my team and how I run my personal life is none of your damned business." Kate turned around and walked out, carrying the rifle.

"At least I tried." Espo said to himself.

Much later, Kate walked out of Dr. Burke's office. Espo was right about a lot today. Castle does love me and the more I get to know him, the more I think we could make things work between us. And I know I've screwed our relationship up from day one. At least I know I want it to work out. With Burke's help I can get to the point where we can be together. I know I can do this. I've got to do this.