Chapter 4: My impossible existence

"We believe the lurker attack came as retaliation, but thanks to the little information we have, we can't know for sure. For all we know, they always intended to attack at some point, but the Icarus incident might've accelerated their timeline." Abi pushed herself to her feet. "After the descent, the world was a wreck, armed forces couldn't put up much of a fight. People who survived hid. In the last 20 years, any semblance of the world you knew, has disappeared." She sighed heavily, every trace of her former self now submitted completely to someone I barely recognised. "After a few month's more and more people with powers popped up. Some of them opportunists, taking advantage of the powerless, committing the unthinkable. Others, like many of us here, fought for our peers, our neighbours, friends, and strangers alike. We were some of the lucky ones though. Britain was offshore from mainland Europe and lurker presence wasn't as heavy there. So we managed to survive for some time, scavenging what was left of the old world, out of the eye of the lurkers."

My eyes shot up toward her, I jerked forward suddenly about to speak, eliciting a response from the guard once again. Abi swung her arm out in front of them, indicating they should stand down. "By we, do you mean you and the kids, are they okay, where are they? I need to see them!" My reaction was just as frantic as it sounded. I hadn't even thought of the kids, Dion and Tina. I felt awful for it. My thoughts had only been on my present situation, selfishly thinking about myself. I was frantic because of my genuine concern for their well-being, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't overcompensating because I felt bad for not thinking about them until now.

Abi's already withdrawn presence retreated further into a callous attitude as she looked away. I could tell it was going to be something bad, but nothing can really prepare you for what she was about to say, "Tina's dead. Dion is here with us."

At that very moment, every bit of suffering I missed over the last 20 years caught up with me, tearing down the walls adulthood had built, I reverted back into the raw emotional state of a child. My voice cracked as a begged, "please, tell me what happened," a tear falling down my face.

"I don't know. We were in London, on the tube heading home, then as we came out of a tunnel, something crashed into the bridge, destroying it. Without anywhere to go they came off the tracks, our carriage rolled a few times, landing in the street below. Dion had been sitting next to me on his tablet, I managed to grab him in time and wrap him in my arms, but Tina, waving her wand in her little white princess costume, was dancing away with the fairies," her dejected face smiled for a brief moment. "You remember how she used to love putting on a show. Everyone in their seats were clapping her on." Shaking away the memory of happiness, she turned to face me once again, "I couldn't get to her in time. A short while later, as I woke up to the sound of Dion coughing and puking out his spleen, she was gone. Believe me, I looked everywhere, in every nook and cranny, under every piece of metal, brick, and plastic I could, before the chaos became too much and I had to take Dion into the underground for shelter. We'd both have been dead otherwise, and I wasn't going to lose another child. So we hid until it was safe. Later on, when I went back out to look, the only thing I found was the little fairy wand she was carrying, covered in blood, about 200 meters down the road. I spent a whole year looking for her. I didn't know if I'd be finding her dead, or alive. But I needed to know. Dion and I stayed at home for as long as we could, waiting for you and Tina, as long as we could before we had to leave. Eventually, we told ourselves you both died that day."

I pushed further, "But, why?! If I'm alive, like this, then maybe, out there somewhe-" Abi interrupted, anger distorting her calm demeanor, her voice sharply raised, "don't you think I thought of that, don't you think I wished for it! You have no idea what it was like in the first few years, it was brutal, billions of people died! There are only a couple million of us left, scattered over the world! And where were you when we needed you, huh?! Where were you, when Tina needed you?!"

A moment's silence followed that truth bomb. An awkward, emotional silence. Of course, I was in shock at the outburst, I think everybody was, even if they weren't showing it. I guess Abi blamed me somehow, for not being there for her, for not being there for our kids. I didn't blame her. It sounds like she'd been through hell and back, they all had. But things still didn't add up, why was I here, now?

Abi composed herself, straightening the creases out of her jacket and brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. "Apologies. That was uncalled for," She said as she cleared her throat. "Anyway, I searched most of London, carried her picture with me everywhere I went for 5 or more years until she would have reached an age where she'd be unrecognisable. I grieved for her a long time ago."

I think I understand why she was being so distant before now. It was so she could avoid doing exactly what she just did. Added to the fact that she blamed me for circumstances beyond my control, somehow. But the simple fact was; she wasn't the person I used to know now, so much had happened to her.

I still had questions about what I was doing here, and where here was for that matter. The guards were still on alert and Dr. Simons had, for some hellishly unknown reason, started videoing me. I looked over, bemused, my arm stretched, palm upright pointing at him, as I looked from the Doctor back to Abi as if to say 'what the hell is this guy doing?'. I didn't know exactly who she was now, she'd changed so much. But we'd been married for over ten years before this shit-show and I hadn't changed at all. So, she knew exactly what my gesture meant, she still knew me and my strange means of communication.

Looking at the doctor, she rolled her eyes, and with a flick of her head gestured to the guards to take the camera from his hands. He resisted, but in the end, they yanked it right from him. Now he just sat there, displeased, grumbling to himself and pouting.

Turning my attention back to the conversation, I asked "So, how did I get here, and where even is, here?"

Abi resumed her explanation, "There was no government left, no social structure. All that remained were a few diasporas of the armed forces trying to hold on for dear life. I heard about one in the Midlands, near Birmingham, so I took Dion and we fled London. They were in need of people who were tech-savvy, so they welcomed me in without issue. Stayed there for 5 years after that."

I'm not surprised really. Abi and I met at university. She was a promising computer science student, brilliant, in fact. It wasn't hard for her to get a job at a top tech company in the end. She took a break but last I remembered was still working toward her doctorate, too bad she never got to complete it, but not like it mattered now.

"So, where do I come into all of this? I wasn't with you at this point, I still don't understand." I replied.

"We got word from a military outfit in the baltic states, just outside of Tallinn. They had a secure base, well out the way of any lurker activity and they'd been studying lurker tech, the effects of XQ energy on the body and they were recruiting computer specialists. We'd been having trouble with supplies on base for a while and a couple of groups already splintered off up north, hoping that they'd find somewhere more sustainable. So, using me and our soldiers as an in, what was left of us decided to go. They told us to head south of London to meet another group, where the Tallinn base had landed a few jets to fly us to Estonia. We left during the night, trying to stay undetected. On our way, on the side of the highway, I saw your car, split in two. I don't think I could ever forget that crappy hatchback. What are the chances, right? So, we stopped, I wanted to, you know, check and see what happened to you. Just as we were about to leave, one of the lads on the truck spotted activity in the woods about 40 meters away from the road. Some sort of glowing blue light. So we investigated and there you were, floating mid-air, encased in this blue membrane. So we hitched a trailer from one of the cars on the highway, reversed it into position around the membrane, and took you with us. You've been here ever since."

That was when Dr. Simons snapped out of his mood and jumped out of his seat, "When you got here, you simply shouldn't have been alive, it was very fascinating. Half of your torso was gone, your inner organs exposed and your right leg below the knee was blown off! We had you under constant observation, and to this day we don't know how, but the membrane you were in was somehow regenerating your body! Really, the research was great fun!"

At this point, I was glad the rest of the room seemed as disgusted as me over the unhinged doctor's enthusiasm, although, he very quickly caught on to and centered himself again. It didn't help that his accent made him sound a little like the mad scientists you'd see in movies, vagrantly forgoing basic human rights for the purpose of research. Although, in fairness to him, he clearly had a great deal invested in his research and was obviously... passionate. Since he was still here, I guessed he was good at his job too.

Abi put a hand on Dr. Simons shoulder, "and as you may be able to tell already, this guy is one of the scientists researching the emergence of powers that presented themselves in some of us."

Another call on the radio took Abi away from me again shortly after that. I didn't even get to ask about Dion. What must he think of all of this? He'd barely remember me, he was only 11 years old when the descent happened.

'Huh, he'd be almost my age by now' I thought to myself.

I was left at the mercy of the doctor for now while he ran some tests and made small talk. As it turns out, my original instincts weren't far from the truth. This was, indeed, an old medical facility of some kind. We were in the basement area, but above ground was the old military base. Apparently, it was a Nato military hospital. Dr. Simons used to be a molecular biologist, mainly working in academia until his research became relevant to what was happening to people gaining powers.

He told me that the force that had somehow kept me alive, and then regenerated my decimated body emitted a similar energy to the one recorded prior to the lurker descent. The reason he'd been videoing before was that he hypothesised emotional responses incited a response in my power. Since I was getting emotional, he wanted to document it if I somehow, as he put it "blew up."

'So I could have "blew up" and his first response is to video it instead of preventing it. What's up with this guy?' I thought to myself as I sat there.

It seems that these 'powers' came as a result of the initial shockwave on the day of the descent. It affected humans on a molecular level as our bodies absorbed it. Physiologically it induced a state similar to metamorphosis. Supposedly, the... excretions, that everyone experienced were our bodies reactions to the energy coursing into our veins. They called it Xenopervasive Quantum Energy, or XQ energy for short. That was what Abi was talking about before. Basically, it was a fancy way of naming something they couldn't fully quantify that colonised the body at a quantum level.

Reacting resulted in our bodies rapidly changing, comparable to accelerated evolution and adapting to our surroundings. Forman, was an electrical engineer, working on a power line at the time. While his body was in a state of metamorphosis, he fell onto the electrical power line he was working on. A few days later, he woke up and gradually realised he could manipulate electrical currents.

Forman and I were only two among many though. I was speaking to Dr. Simons, who was effervescently enthusiastic on the topic, about the particulars of gaining a power. To this day, twenty years after the emergence of superpowers, the science behind it is still beyond the capabilities of human understanding. Scientifically speaking that is. But one thing that was discovered, the common denominator if you will, is that each person who acquired a power were all injured while they were in metamorphosis.

It was fascinating really, the body's response to the injury was to emulate it. It's like developing anti-venom in response to a snake bite. Tailing off down a rabbit hole like a fanatic engrossed in their fantasy, eyes wide with joy and practically frothing at the mouth, the dear doctor listed off his favourite examples. His 'top three' as he branded them were; a girl riddled with shrapnel from an exploding car could now shoot metal projectiles from her body, a man hit by a train could reinforce himself with and release kinetic energy at will, and a woman suffering from motor neurone disease gaining the ability to spontaneously control her muscle growth.

Owing to the nature of acquiring a superpower, over time, those endowed with them became colloquially known as 'the fractured'. Ironically genius dubbing if you ask me. However, the true irony could be that the worse the injury, or disease, the stronger you become. Like the universe somehow realigning, rewarding those who suffered most with good fortune.

The reason why there were guards stationed on alert is that, according to Dr. Simons, they suspected the source of the energy was of lurker origin. From what the scientists on base could deduce, as my body was going through a metamorphosis, I must have come in contact with something that generated XQ energy. As a result, Dr. Simons believes I'm more than a mere conduit for it, he believes I've become a source of XQ energy itself. That little incident with the door was my emotions evoking the energy from within me and, in turn, pushing then outward.

Not everyone saw it that way though. I could feel the animosity from the passive glares people gave me. A lot of them lost everything as a result of the descent, I couldn't blame them for being wary of me. But being detached from everything I'd known, waking up to circumstances beyond my control, was disheartening. Being an outsider would already be hard, but being an outsider that people actively shunned would be harder.

I was still confined to the doctor's office, guards posted outside the door. I was told I'd be getting a room soon and finally get a tour around the base. But for the time being, I was still in the doctor's company.

Soon after going over the big details, and everything had settled down, the small talk continued while the doctor took some blood and ran it under a microscope. "So, what did you do before? The commander tells me you were a history and archaeology graduate, correct?"

"I was a curator at the West London Historical Exhibition Museum. I scheduled exhibits and arranged events that coincided with what was on show."

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked, his attention mostly on the microscope in front of him.

"Yes and no. It was a good job, I enjoyed it at first, but the higher up the food chain I got the more it became less about the history and more about the money involved." I replied.

Standing up and moving the sample to a different microscope, the doctor nonchalantly said something rather profound, "Well, not everybody enjoys their work, I'm one of the lucky few I think. Society back then wasn't too dissimilar to now really. People did things they didn't enjoy to survive."

Contemplating his words, I strived to understand exactly what he was referring to when it dawned on me. The military base, the soldiers, Abi being referred to as 'the commander'.

Were they fighting a war out there?