A SARCASTIC QUIP

My name is General Male lead, a man between the ages of 14-31. I am an average looking dude studying at business school to become a CEO. But my life changed forever when one morning as I was heading for school I spotted an ethereal beauty, as she was crossing the road the light changed from green to red. A large truck was seen speeding down the road. But she was wearing earbuds and didn't hear me shout at her, everything would be fine but then she misstepped and her heel broke.

I took a deep breath. That was the time for me to be a hero, and so I ran. But before I even reached her, I got hit by another car, the light was red after all...

After this, I woke up in an empty void, well not entirely empty. A truly divine beauty was there, she spoke with the voice of a hundred angels, the echo was a bit terrifying not gonna lie.

She said.

"Hero id number 11.332.223.124 from the world id 123442, Your heroic actions where so grant that they have given you the right to reincarnate. Your heroic actions have reached the minimum point of clearance to grant you a tier-one cheat. But before you decide you can check your stats."

GMl said with a tone bordering to pathetic.

"How do I do that oh gracious goddess."

The Goddess spoke and said.

"You simply say Iterious Amoricous Maternicous Arnekton Nertonious Idertiotm Daernicous Ilathios Oternaphon Tasitus."

GMI eyes opened wide and he stuttered.

"Isn't there an easier way?"

The Goddess nodded sagely and said.

"There is, the acronym."

GMI attempted to remember it and then he said with a proud smile.

"I am an idiot."

Immediately a hub window opened looking exactly like his favorite video game Climbin67 by Frog.

Strength: 3, Note: Meh

Perception: ?, Note: You got hit by a car.

Endurance: 1, Note: The car hit you with a speed of 5km an hour.

Charisma: 1-3, Note: Depends on how much you drool.

Intelligence: ??, Note: Error, Error the value is too low.

Agility: 2, Note: Your max speed is 12km/h.

Luck: Access denied, Note: For your own good we do not disclose that information.

GMI nodded with satisfaction and thought.

The system is clearly being sarcastic, that is fine, it will soon see my greatness. My intelligence and luck must be truly too high so the system simply can't compute them.

GMI then smiled and asked while making puppy eyes(The dog in question is more inbred than a pug).

"I am ready, but please oh gracious goddess choose a cheat for me."

The goddess nodded and said.

"A bottle of Jack Daniels which weighs 300ml but has in it 5 liters of liquor with it being replenished by 100 ml a day Note(the liquor added each day is random and it costs less than half a dollar)."

The goddess then said.

"Hero Id: 11.332.223.124 has finished his preparation sending him to world 412322."

Then light filled the void.