Valentine's Day

It is finally Valentine's day! I have been so excited for this all of last month. I really hope that my crush, Josh, likes me back. But there was only one issue...

Jocelyn.

   To put it blindly, she's my sister. My toxic, annoying, sister. She liked Josh as well and she would try to pull every trick in the book to get with him. I can't let this happen.

  First period rolls around, and there she is again, glaring at him. She does this everyday and it makes me sick. The teacher tells her to stop but she doesn't.

  After first period, we have a 5 minute break. I always talk to my best friend, John. Since Jocelyn always gets to Josh first. We are friends though. John runs up to me and says,

"Hi Alex!!! You still going through with your plan?" He asks, hugging me tightly.

"Most likely, also your hugs are so tight!" I respond, laughing. 

He laughs and let's go. Then I hear the asshole of the school, Brian.

"OoOoOh~ Love birds love birds!" He said, making everyone glare.

I tell him,

"Stop it Brian, he's my friend that's it! Plus, I like someone else." I say, annoyed.

He looks shocked, but gets distracted and walks off. Then, the bell rings and it's time for second period.

During Lunch

Lunch time rolls around and I decide to make my move. Problem is, Jocelyn looks like she is already confessing. I still walk up to him. Jocelyn looks at me and says,

"Sorry bro~ He's mine" She says, and looks up at him.

'Yeah, sorry." Josh says back happily.

I burst out in tears, and fall to the ground. Jocelyn chuckles. John runs over to comfort me.

I burst out,

"Why her? Why her and not me?!" I say, still crying. '

"Cause she's not toxic, unlike you. You bully her and torment her." He says angrily.

I stand up slowly. My crying dies a tiny bit. I shout at him,

"I"M THE TOXIC ONE?? WHO DO YOU THINK GIVES ME CONSTANT BRUISES AND CUTS? THE REASON I DON'T TURN IT MY ASSIGNMENTS IS CAUSE SHE RIPS THEM UP. I STAY UP AT NIGHT DOING HER WORK!!!" I say, crying heavily again.

He looks at her, confused. I breathe and then start back up again.

"I-I live in constant hell and pain. She never leaves me alone. The reason Brian thinks me and John are dating is because I hide in his dorm. It's the only safe place besides out here. I loved you, and she knew that. She knew, so she blames me for everything. I love you dammit! I love you, so much. I dream at night cuddling you, I use blankets in place of you. I imagine you loving me. I cry at night because your not there. But, you chose my toxic sister. I guess that's ok, I'll go now." I say, crying and running.

I hear him call out for me. Everyone in the lunchroom is shocked. THe teachers glare at Jocelyn hastily. John followed close behind me, along with his dormmate. I ran to my dorm and John and his roommate, Dave came in. They comforted me.

"It'll be ok. You'll be fine." John says, rubbing my back and hugging me.

"No it's not! She'll bully me even more! Now my crush is ripped from me." I say, just holding tightly onto John.

"Let's go, your moving into my dorm. We have an extra bed." He says, pulling me up.

I don't say anything, I just rub my eyes and follow him. We have to walk across the lunch room to get to the principal's office.

We get to the lunch room and I hear Josh say,

"Alex wait! I-" He is cut off from running after me by Jocelyn.

"Aww baby~ You're seriously gonna choose him over me? He's lying he just hurts himself" She says, grabbing him.

"Let go!" He says, pushing her back.

I hear his footsteps behind me. Most of me wants to avoid him but, a part of me just wants to run and jump on him.

But, he looses us in the crowd of people outside. We make it to the principal's office and John starts off,

"Can Alex move to my dorm? He needs to be away from his toxic sister."

"That can be arranged, yes." He says.

After about 30 minutes, we have moved all my things out of my dorm. Jocelyn is just shocked, and furious. She tried to stop me but couldn't.

I got settled into my new dorm. I felt safe and at ease. All my late assignments were excused. Jocelyn still hans't apologixed.

"Hey, cheer up! I know what will! Wanna finish Haikyuu?' He asked happily.

"Sure, I hope it works." I reply, watching him reach for the remote

He turns it on, and it's an episode where Tendou goes wild. We laugh multiple times but I still am not fully recovered.

We finish a whole season and I am still not recovered. John notices this, and he just holds me in his arms. I start balling my eyes out again. His dormmate gets up to help comfort me.

"sShhhh, it's ok just let it out." He says, rubbing my back and holding me close.

I let out a huge, painful scream. I'm pretty sure people in the hall heard me. I cry loudly then slowly die down and fall asleep.

John lays be down and makes me comfortable. It was late and he and his dormmate go to sleep.

Middle of the night

I cry and cry, but I stay quiet and just cuddled my blankets.

Morning

I woke up with puffy eyes and John noticed.

"Did you cry again?" He asked

I nodded quietly. We got ready and I looked like a hot mess. I walked out of my dorm to the lunchroom to get breakfast.

I saw Josh watching me. Jocelyn was sitting away from him, not even looking at me. I'm glad.

I got my food and sat 3 tables away from Josh. Part of me wanted to walk up to him but I couldn't bring myself to go to him.

I quietly ate and didn't say anything the whole day. I was silent for a whole week. Josh tried to talk to me but I didn't say a thing.

The teachers let me because of what happened. But, I wanted to burst out screaming and just scream and let all my pain out.  I couldn't because my mouth was dry.  I wanted to, but couldn't.. help please.

Lunchtime, Friday

It's lunchtime. I spoke finally to John. I didn't scream, I was kinda quiet.

I saw Josh walking up to me. I just ran, I heard his footsteps behind me. I just ran and ran. He followed me. I eventually got tired and just sat, heavily breathing. I'm pretty sure I was behind the school by now. josh would most likely come after me.

I was sitting, trying to catch my breath. Josh just sat next to me. He was silent for about 5 minutes. I slightly got up but felt a tug on my arm. It pulled me down and I just plopped.

"Please, let's talk. I'm sorry" He said, almost begging.

I reluctantly agreed.

"Remember all the stuff you said, I still remember it, word for word." He said, smiling.

I started crying again, I leaped into his arms. I just nuzzled in his chest and he was brushing his fingers through my hair.

"You know, I loved you as well. It's just, Jocelyn came to me first. I didn't know you were bullied by her. I felt it deep down that she was lying." He said, still stroking my hair.

This brought a a small blush to my already pink face. I replied,

"I love you, so much." I replied but said,,

"But I still can't forgive you for believing her." I said, getting up.

I sat next to him again. He then slid his hand onto mine. I grasped it tightly.

I then felt his hand turn my head, and next thing I know, he kisses me. I kiss back of course, tears forming in my eyes.

We break it and I am a blushing mess.

"You look like a mess, but cute as always." He said playfully.

I was blushing and hiding myself. I reluctantly said,

"We should get back, we don't wanna get in trouble." I say, standing.

He stands up and we walk back. I had calmed down a bit. We had about 5 minutes of lunch left. John ran up to me and,

"Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" He said, giving Josh a death stare

"No i'm fine. Don't worry about it" I replied, reassuring him I was ok.

"Well then, gotta tell me all about it when we get back to my dorm!" He said, walking back to his spot.

Jocelyn was watching us the whole time. I really can't get any privacy can I.

"Hey, let's go chill for a minute with your friends' He says, pulling me towards them.

We sit down, and he just grabs me and holds me.

"Oooh lala Alex! You got yourself a man~" John says, and Dave chuckling after the comment.

I blush and just hide myself. Then, Jocelyn sees this and rushes over.

"EWW!!! You're gay? That's disgusting! That's why you have that weirsd rainbow pin!" She says in a mean tone

I stand up, and tell back,

"Well atleast you aren't constantly worrying for your life! I live in constant fear that I will loose my rights! You don't! Straight, white people don't know what it's like for us to live in constant fear!" I say, tearing up

"You should have no rights! No one should, only straight white people! Black lives don't matter, or mexicans, muslims none of them! Only white straight people deserve rights!" She says, the notices the eyes glaring at her

Everyone gets pissed. The teachers even step in. I burst out in tears, and drop to the floor. I can't take it anymore. I need to shout and scream. I finally let it out.

"JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! I AM DONE WITH YOU!!!! ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING! I GOT NOTHING ON MY BIRTHDAY, CHRISTMAD, I GOT NOTHING!!! BECAUSE OF YOU, I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS IN MY ROOM CRYING HOPING SOMEONE WOULD BELIEVE ME! BUT NO, YOU WHERE SPOILED AND GIVEN EVERYTHING! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!! EVEN IF YOU ARE FAMILY i DON'T CARE. NOT ONE OUNCE OF MY BEING CARES ABOUT YOU! SO JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE, DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME PITY YOU, IT WON'T WORK" I say aggresively.

Josh just holds me while I am balling my eyes out. Everyone in the lunchroom tries to comfort me. The teachers tell everyone to leave him alone. Jocelyn just glares at me in disgust.

"A-all I wanted, was a happy family. A loving sister, but I can't even have that can I? As far as i'm aware, only 3 people love me. I can't even love myself. So please just think before you do something" I say, then begin crying.

I'm told I can go to my dorm, and Jocelyn is expelled and she's not allowen anywhere near me.

I just go to my dorm, and just try to calm down. Josh is just beside me the whole time. John also comforted me.

"Hey, I know this is bad timing but, wanna turn on Handa-Kun or something? It's pretty funny" He says eagirly

"Yeah, sounds fine" I say, him reaching for the remote

He turns it on and we are laughing alot. I felt alot better about myself. Even josh loves it.

It was nightime and Josh insisted on staying. I let him. and we eventually fall alseep holding eachother tightly.

I didn't cry this time, because he was with me. We just held ourselves that night, and every night after.

We even moved in together, and John and his friend, Dave, moved in with us. We lived happily through life, even though we went through hard times. we were happy and got through it together.

Jocelyn never apologized, but I didn't care. I was happy, with a boyfriend, and living with my highschool best friends.

This was my highschool crush dilemma