Gil-kun and the Penguin

The countryside seemed endless. They had been walking for a few hours by now. It all looked the same. Gilgamesh meditated a few times about boarding his plane, but he refused every time since that would mean having to carry that annoying emperor too. She didn't deserve such a favour. 

One thing was clear: the fauna there was huge. They had already come across giant worms, giant ants, giant spiders and giant grasshoppers. They all were very territorial and pretty tough, capable of resisting without much effort against C-rank Noble Phantasms. 

Still, they were no match for the combined might of two top-tier Heroic Spirits. They were nothing more than a slight annoyance. The King of Heroes had already grown bored of them, however he didn't mind when they showed up, since it gave him a breather from Nero's talking sessions.

After they had just finished killing another horde of ants, Nero suddenly squealed, scaring the hell out of Gilgamesh. He looked in her direction and saw her rushing towards something. He looked closer. It looked alive. It was...

"Umu, look! It's a penguin! A small cute penguin! Look at how cute he is, umu! Isn't he the cutest, umu?"

"It's just a foul beast that reeks of fish."

"Umu, don't say that! You'll make Mr. Penguin cry."

"As if I care. Furthermore, is that what you are going to call him? Mr. Penguin?"

"Mmm, you're right... it is pretty lackluster... an artist like me should be more creative... umu, I know! From now on, you're Mr. Pop Pea! How'd you like that, Mr. Pop Pea?"

The penguin moved his head quickly as if he was trying to communicate something, but neither of them could really tell what he meant, on account of neither of them understanding penguinese.

"I think he likes it!"

"What a ridiculous name..."

"Umu, don't insult my naming skills! You're hurting Mr. Pop Pea. Come on, isn't he cute, umu?"

Nero asked again as she raised the penguin almost against Gilgamesh's face. He pulled back in disgust and she gently brought the animal against her chest like a mother with her child.

"So cute, Mr. Pop Pea."

"I suppose I've seen more hideous beasts. In any case, we shall continue our journey. Leave that bird here now."

"No way, umu! I'm not leaving Mr. Pop Pea, he can't stay here!"

"Why not?"

"It's not his natural habitat?"

"Didn't you bring lions and elephants to the Colosseum?"

"I didn't know it was a bad thing at the time! Who knew that moving an animal from where it used to live would have negative consequences? It didn't have it with humans!"

"Why should I care about the fate of some random bird?"

"Please, umu. We have to save Mr. Pop Pea..."

Nero pleaded bringing the penguin close to her face as her eyes glimmered and sparkled.

"Are you trying to puppy-eye me?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, umu..." 

"Look, I'll use this liquid ice to turn this place into a more suitable climate for that thing."

"B-but... what about friends... he can't just stay here alone..."

"Are you serious?"

"Please... please, umu... please... please..."

"Not going to work."

"You're so cruel, umu! Wait, I have a proposal. I remind you of someone, right, Goldie? I could tell by the way were staring at me."

"..."

"I do! I bet you like her a lot!"

"That's none of your concern, mongrel."

"Yes, you totally do. Well, if you agree to bring Mr. Pop Pea with us, I'll cosplay as this person you like so much. What do you think, umu? Do you like the sound of that?"

"..."

"*smiles*"

"... as soon as we find another penguin, we leave him there."

"Yay! Thank you, umu! You're the best, umu! Mr. Pop Pea is really happy too! You're so cool, umu!"

"Stop... doing that."

"Doing what, umu? Praising you? How can I not praise you when you're so cool, umu?"

"N-no, not this... that."

"That what, umu? What do you mean, umu? Spinning around you, umu? Running around, umu? Coming too close, umu?"

"This! This damn thing you say! Umu this, umu that... Stop umuing!"

"Oh that... I'm sorry, Gilgy, it's just something I naturally say while talking, a tic, if you will. But you don't dislike it too much, do you, umu?"

"I... dear foolish mongrel girl... I will allow you to follow me... I will allow you to bring that animal with you... but I swear in the name of all the treasures I possess, I'll make a knife appear inside Mr. Pop Pea's heart if I hear you say umu for more than 10 times a day!"

"That's not fair! I let you use mongrel all the time!"

"That's because that word is an accurate way to describe you!"

"Mine too!"

"How the hell am I 'umu'?"

"Ok, fine, Goldie. You win this round. I'll try to limit myself. Let's keep going forward now!"

"Very well, I'll remember your promise. ... b-both of your promises."

"Hehe, I knew you had a soft spot for something, umu!"

"That's one umu down for today."

"W-what? Oh, geez! You're right! Don't worry, Mr. Pop Pea! I won't allow you to get killed so easily. Though it's best if we find some ice very soon. Let's hurry, umu!"

"That's 2..."