Corn is Always Interesting

I don't own fallout

"Okay. I never thought I'd have to say this. But that is an absurd amount of fucking corn." Casey mumbled in slightly awe, lowering the half of a binocular. "I mean. Holy shit… I don't see an END to it."

They have reached the land of corn, or at least they could SEE it. Rows of stalks as far as the eye could see: thick, towering strong corn stalks as tall as trees with long ears of corns dangling on the ends like ripe fruits ready to be plucked dozens of feet in the air. Golden yellow and shimmering in the morning light. Formerly Nebraska where 'corn is always interesting' something different happened when the bombs fell. For one, no bombs dropped directly on it… and where the rest of the old world became bleak and desolate. The Land of Corn became… the Land of Corn. Rows and rows of corn mutated and surged across the state almost indefinitely and at first, those who survived thought they had lucked out.

Until they took a taste.

"If you can get it down without getting killed, it's great…" Jack noted, taking the binocular from her, "Tough as leather and sits like a brick in your stomach." He glanced through the binocular, sliding it slowly along the rows of corn, passing over a seemingly empty ruined town… Settlements littered along the rim of the rows, a visual reminder of the dozens of attempts at harvesting the 'precious' food. "Comes OUT like a brick to…" he flinched, "…Heard somebody crapped their insides out a long while back. But people see free food and try their luck regardless…"

"If I could haul that back to the NCR they'd never have to worry about food again." Casey mumbled sadly, Jack just shrugged and kept looking. "Those ears must be as big as you are! Just one could feed an entire town."

"Again. It tastes like shit." Jack noted, "No amount of butter will make it taste better, and trust me, I tried." He lowered the binoculars. "They are coming back." He said stepping behind the wrecked bus they had used to camp out.

After leaving Riverside they made an uneventful journey northward until they saw the first stalk of corn at nightfall, then bunked in the said bus to get as much rest as they could. Upon sunrise Swat, Raid and Galoria went to scout ahead… Jack did not quite understand why Swat took Galoria but imagined that it was mainly because Casey was fast asleep. It was an hour to noon, the walk to town took a while…

"How's it looking?" Jack asked as Raid scampered up to the old ghoul, prancing around Jack lazily threw a kick at him with his prostatic leg but Raid easily dodge, put his nose to the ground between his paws, and left his hindquarters in the air, tail wagging as if expecting Jack to suddenly through his leg for him to fetch.

"No kids." Swat said, sourly, he still had a bit of a flinch from his injury at Riverside. But he seemed well enough. "No people." He then frowned at Jack. "No path."

Jack scowled. "Fuck." knowing what that meant

"Okay…" Casey interjected with a pretty smile and raising her hand, "Let's try to keep everyone in the loop, shall we? What the hell are you two talking about?"

"…There is no path." Jack said, giving her his attention. "These people, The Huskers, used to have a path through the corn that was relatively safe, connecting the south to the north. They used to keep a regular maintenance on it…"

"But apparently those fucking cult kids decided to kill off the Huskers or drive them off so the path is fucked… at least as far as I can tell." Swat frowned, packing up their supplies. "Best we can hope for is that it's not so screwed up that we won't get lost or die to whatever the hell is crawling beneath the corn."

"…Okay…" Casey said slowly as she picked up her pack. "…What's crawling beneath the corn?"

Swat secured several sticks of dynamite into his supply bag. "Something horrible."

"It's the wasteland, you're going to have to be specific." Casey mumbled indignantly as Swat led the way, Raid prancing behind, staring intently at Jack's fancy prosthetic leg.

"Piss off mutt I'm not playing." Jack mumbled indignantly, picking up a nearby stick and halfheartedly hurling it off for the big wolf to instantly chase after, before happily jogging back and following them into tow.

It was a ghost town, Sway's hand on his sequoia as their marching feet echoed ominously through the dirt-covered broken streets. There was a slight scent of rotten food in the air, and in the market stalls… Bloatflys must have had a feast awhile back but were gone now… just like everyone else. Haphazardly built residential buildings and repurposed ones made up the town itself, and doors swung off broken hinges with trinkets and objects littered their floors. Drawers and shelves left open and empty… and the wind blew a cold ominous feeling through the alleys...

People left in a hurry or scavengers tore up what was left… it was one, the other, or both.

"It has been a while since I last came this way." Swat said, glancing at Jack who shrugged "So my memory may not be exactly accurate."

"Try being a 200-something ghoul." Jack grumbled accurately..

"But I think… the Path is a few hours that way." Swat said, pointing northwest. "A couple of yards into the rows."

"So what are we waiting for?" Casey asked as Galoria, always cheerful in the face of danger, removed her steel oar from her back, holding it at the ready as she glanced around.

"Potential ambushes? Creepy kids? Whiny manchildren?" Swat mumbled distractedly, glancing around. Before looking hesitantly at Raid, who sat down, and promptly scratched his ear without a care in the world. That seemed to immediately calm Swat down. "I want to see if there is anything left. Worst-case scenario we camp at what used to be the inn." He pointed towards a sturdy old brick building; three stories tall it looked to be an old office space. "Everyone pairs up. Nobody goes anywhere alone."

"Father-in-law! I shall guard you!" Galoria grinned loudly as the other three humans in her company hissed at her. she just grinned back at them all.

"Keep it to a dull roar, would you?" Jack grumbled, "You two take the east end we'll take the west." Jack replied as Swat, Casey and Raid went to explore.

"Meet back here in an hour." Swat replied as they separated, Raid already sniffing the ground.

In forty minutes of searching, they found little to nothing: cans of food, and a few shotgun shells, but nothing Swat searched seemed to give him the results he wanted. Casey closed a suitcase filled to bursting with old-world money, picking it up and carrying it. "Apart from the fire kindling, there's nothing much here…"

"I didn't expect there to be." Swat sighed sadly as Raid brought him a sack of bottlecaps that he poured into his own purse and walked outside. "…Come on let's head ba-" he paused as Raid's ears went stiff, snarling towards a nearby alleyway Swat's sequoia was up with the hammer back. He stared focused on the alley as Raid whimpered, ears dropping…

"What?" Casey asked as Swat checked the alleyway, gun first.

"…I'm not going to say nothing." Swat scowled, backing away. "…Keep your gun out." He noted as they headed back to meet up with Galoria and Jack. Jack sat inside the inn watching Swat come in, shut, and lock the door front. "Did you guys find anything?"

Jack held up a string of grenades, five in all. Smirking. "Found these hanging just inside a bathroom. I do not know why. But I'll take em."

"Good. Cause I think we've been spotted." Swat mumbled as Jack sighed exasperatedly.

"I suppose it would be a bit too much to ask that people were smart enough to leave us the hell alone." He pulled out a revolver. "So what? We run for it?" he asked, clacking his prosthetic leg on the floor as Swat frowned.

"…Bunker down. I'd rather be against the wall than out in the open."

"Great." Jack mumbled, clunking up the stairs. "Find a room with a window. Take a nap." He said, glancing at the two. "And have my ' daughter-in-law' barricade the doors."

"Take a nap… seriously?" Casey mumbled as Swat went to find Galoria.

"Jack knows what he's doing." Swat noted, "…Besides if I were them, I'd try to ambush us at night too. Might as well try and get some sleep if we're going to be up all night." However, the second he said that Jack walked down the stairs again, however he was carrying something.

"…Is that a Radio?" Casey asked as Jack glanced at it, smiled, and replied knowingly.

"Yeah." And without another word he walked outside and crossed the street into another building.

Casey watched him go and a moment later she started to hear music coming from the building… it was soft at first but then it became louder.

So bongo, bongo, bongo, I don't want to leave the congo, oh no no no no no

Jack soon stomped back in passing a confused-looking Casey. "I hate this one." Jack grumbled, leaving the music on, and heading back up the stairs. Casey rubbed her forehead, rolling her eyes, and headed up the stairs as Galoria and Swat returned, Galoria barricading the front door with large planks of wood and another door.

The sun went down, and the moon rose… giving the empty town an otherworldly light. Swat and Raid sat at the window of their room. Swat subtly gazing out into the street, Raid half dozed on the windowsill… suddenly sneezing off into the night as the Radio kept playing. And like most radio stations nearby the music came back around.

So bongo, bongo, bongo, I don't want to leave the congo, oh no no no no no

Must have been the third time they played the damn song. And Jack, snoring loudly on a couch in the next room, refused to answer Casey's increasingly irritated questions as to why he did what he did. Swat's eyes narrowed at the fairy-like lights twinkling in the street down the road. He clicked his tongue and Raid was attentive, blinking up at Swat before he flicked a hand to the next room.

Raid darted out, and moments later.

"Ack! Pssph!! Stop! Licking me! You mutt!" Jack hissed, as Raid's paws pattered quickly around the inn, waking the others as Jack limped into the room with Swat adjusting his hat. "They're here?"

At least twenty children of various ages walked down the street being led by a smug-looking little shit in a neat suit, tie, and a bob cut. There was something off about his face like his skin was stretched over his skull, but he stood before the children and pointed to the building where Jack had taken the radio. Casey and Galoria both entered his room with Raid, crowding it slightly as he glanced at them indignantly.

"Outlanders have returned." The boy said softly, "They seek to disrupt our happy place! Our way of life! We must capture them! And give them to He 'who-crawls-beneath-the-corn'!" the look of absolute 'Whaaaat?' on Casey's face would've been priceless if the older children weren't carrying deadly rippers, swords, and the bigger ones hefting sledges.

"But Joab…" a young boy began tentatively, "…They looked like they were going to leave… I heard them talking."

"Do not speak blaspheme! ALL adults do is LIE." Joab said charismatically, "Only He 'who-crawls-beneath-the-corn' speaks TRUTH! I am his word giver! I alone am blessed with eternal youth and cannot be slain by the Older one's weapons! It is by this protection that you yourselves cannot be harmed. We must give Him sacrifice. And why feed our true believers to Him when outlander blood is far more succulent and satisfying!" he pointed to the radio building, "Throw thine torches! Let the cleansing begin!"

The older kids hurled their torches at the building, several fell short, and there was little to no flame as nothing caught. Joab, keeping his composure and ignoring the lack of a blaze pointed. "Seize the Older ones!"

Many of them, stumbling and tripping over themselves in the dark ran into the building, and after a moment… the music finally died. The Radio was hurled out of the building as Joab approached it, standing in the open and kicking the Radio as an older girl declared. "There's nobody here!"

"Spread out! Find them! We must sacrifice someone and if not them, then one of YOU shall feed He 'who-crawls-beneath-the-corn!"

"This kid's getting on my nerves." Casey scowled, "…But we can't just up and shoot a bunch of kids."

"I know but the best we can do is wait them out and-" Swat began but then Jack, who had remembered their conversation with the man in power armor back in Riverside glanced at the tantrum-throwing Joab and noted.

"…But HE is NOT a kid."

Swat's eyes widened in realization and he smacked his forehead lightly in a 'duh' gesture… then he stood up, "Cover me." He said, leaping from the window onto the ground. Joab had half a second to turn as he heard the noise, opened his mouth but was silenced by Swat firing his Sequoia at the group of kids, right at their feet, "Nobody move!" he roared, "I got enough bullets to put down 50 super mutants and I DO NOT miss."

"Slay him! Seize him!" Joab roared in a childish, yet cracking voice. "I command you! Obey me, you simpering children! He cannot harm us!" he declared with an insane smile, "He will not slay children! None of the others tried! He 'who-crawls-beneath-the-corn' will not allow him…"

Swat seemed to think on that… then shot Joab in the leg.

…The SHRIEK Joab squawked out was hilarious, as Joab himself rolled around in the dirt with a massive hole in his thigh, screaming obscenities at Swat who turned his gun back onto the now visually disturbed kids. And he pulled back the hammer, holding his gun steady…

"I certainly don't like killing kids." He said coldly, "Doesn't mean I won't if they try harming me…" suddenly Raid leaped from the window, pawing the ground ominously as he bared his fang's at the 'simpering' Joab, who in sight of Raid's razor-sharp teeth, clamped up quickly. "And my friend here? He's less likely to let you…" he raised his gun and fired. The noise echoed over the kid's head as they screamed, a couple felt the bullet fly just over their heads. "LEAVE! I don't give a shit who you believe in. But keep your bullshit away from me."

"Don't believe-" Joab managed to speak, and his voice didn't sound NEARLY as childlike as before. But suddenly Raid was barking and gnashing his teeth centimeters from his face. That shut him up real quick.

"LEAVE!" Swat said firmly, cocking back the hammer. "I won't fire another warning shot… these bullets are worth more to me than YOUR LIVES."

The children were local, combining that with sentimentality and 'religious' fanaticism the area's adults would of course not fight back. And the many outlanders they ambushed didn't fight back at all… most were surprised in their sleep and didn't have a chance.

SWAT was a complete unknown to them… and that unknown gave way to fear. One kid dropped his weapon, took a step away… and ran. Then another, and another… soon the kids were running for their lives, which weren't really in danger in the first place…

Joab, still bleeding, whimpered as Swat, Raid and soon Jack loomed over him. "Now what are we going to do with you? 'BOY'…" Jack noted sarcastically, steadily moving his Winchester over Joab. "…Wonder how many people you've killed…" he noted again sternly as Casey and Galoria, both being eyed lecherously by the manchild, sneered at him with some disgust. "...Gladys would've shot you." Jack added almost reverently, to Joab's utter confusion, but not Swat's. Who wrapped his hand carefully around the stock and pulled the Winchester muzzle slowly away from Joab.

"Well… we're going to bind up that leg wound." Swat said, oddly sweet, "…Then we're going for a walk." Joab stared into Swat's eyes and found NO mercy there. "We're going to need some bait after all…" when they looked at him funny he noted. "What? His 'god' has particular tastes doesn't it?" he added as Joab, in one last feeble attempt at escape tried to crawl away. "Well, we can't have that." Swat said dismissively… and knocked him out.

"Bait?" Casey asked as Jack bound the little shit's wound and tied him up, making sure to gag his mouth before gesturing to Galoria to carry him, she tossed him onto her shoulder like a sack of skinny potatoes.

"Bait." Swat repeated. "I think it might be time for him to meet his 'god'." Swat replied cryptically. Casey smacked him. "O-ow!" he rubbed his cheek.

"I don't WANT cryptic answers I want a straight-up one." she noted, giving him a sassy smile.

He sighed, "It really must be seen to believe." Swat said, curling his fingers toward the forest of corn stalks ahead. "Buuut... giant, monstrous, tunneling worms..." Casey hesitated before following them, a very descript look of- 'what the fuck?' on her face.

"...What the fuck?" she mumbled out loud to nobody pawing the ground absently with the toes of her steel boot before running after the others.

End of chapter

Yes... yes this was one giant Children of the Corn reference. And a hint of the next one if you like the Best B movie horror franchise ever... But in the next chapter, we're going back to Riverside for a bit.

PS the 'Corn is always interesting' is a joke from Family Guy about Nebraska... and my buddy who came from Nebraska said that it's pretty damn accurate...