Chapter 79: Fate (4)
"Ah..."
It's beautiful.
So very dazzling.
I silently watch Kim Young-hoon.
He's shining.
Kim Young-hoon is shining so brightly.
"...Amazing, you truly are."
Normally, I would have given him a bright smile.
Or perhaps, show my respect with a bow.
But right now, I can only quietly admire his achievement.
He seems akin to light itself.
Maybe because of the lingering heart demon of my last ordeal.
Compared to him, I feel so insignificant.
"Really... congratulations."
He looks at me and smiles faintly.
And then, Kim Young-hoon collapses.
Thud-
"Ah..."
That's right.
He has reached this realm by swinging his saber like a madman for months without proper rest or food.
I hurriedly carry Kim Young-hoon, lay him down, and treat him.
Watching him asleep, I let out a bitter smile.
Is this envy?
No, it isn't.
It's a sense of deprivation about my own talent, a bit of emptiness, and feeling of insignificance.
While he blossoms his talent and continuously progresses, I need many times more time to cover the same distance.
Seeing his light, maybe it's because the shadows in my heart seem to deepen.
I feel even my hope is fading.
'Can I reach Qi Building within the remaining time?'
Honestly, I'm not sure.
The balance is becoming increasingly perfect and my recovery time shortened.
But I still haven't reached Qi Building.
Continually adjusting the ratio of the Five Surpassing Paths to Cultivation while trying to break through Qi Building is becoming more difficult.
'...Both cultivation and martial arts.'
It feels like even the heavens are forcibly rejecting me.
If there is such a thing as the attraction of fate, what kind of force is binding me from reaching the next realm?
'Can I really overcome the barrier to the next realm in this lifetime...'
With a heavy heart, I revitalized Kim Young-hoon's vital energy for several days.
A few days later, Kim Young-hoon wakes up.
"Kim Hyung, are you feeling alright?"
As he gets up, he looks over me for a while.
"Kim Hyung?"
When I ask again, Kim Young-hoon finally looks at me and smiles faintly.
He nods his head.
"Any discomfort?"
He shakes his head.
"...Are you having difficulty speaking?"
He shakes his head again and looks at me meaningfully with a smile.
'What's going on..?'
Kim Young-hoon gets up, grabs his saber, and goes outside.
He looks at the sky for a moment with a smile, then climbs onto a nearby high rock, resting his chin in his hand, and watches me.
He looks like he's observing me.
I read Kim Young-hoon's intent.
His intent is full of interest, curiosity, and anticipation.
'Anticipation... Could it be?'
His intuition seems to feel that I would reach a similar realm as him.
Or maybe he's just expecting me to reach the same realm as him.
"...Kim Hyung. I... don't have as much talent as you think."
But Kim Young-hoon just observes me without any reaction.
"..."
After a while, I sigh, go inside to adjust my cultivation, and practice martial arts.
From that day, Kim Young-hoon's strange behavior continued.
After reaching the realm of Entering Heavens Beyond the Path and waking up again, Kim Young-hoon stopped speaking.
It wasn't aphasia.
Sometimes he went out to buy necessities and spoke then.
But even at those times, he did not directly converse with me.
He never spoke a word to me, just always looked at me with curiosity and anticipation in his eyes.
If I seemed burdened, he would go far away to a distant peak.
But I knew he was always watching me, even from afar.
'...It's burdensome.'
As if he's curious about when I would reach the next realm.
No, it was more than that; he's certain of it.
Sometimes I would ask him for martial arts guidance or to observe the martial arts of Entering Heavens Beyond the Path, but he avoided conversation and no longer taught me anything.
It felt like he was reluctant to show any thoughts towards me.
'What does this mean..!?'
I was frustrated to the point of madness, but I had to accept his stance and continued to practice martial arts and adjust the Five Surpassing Paths to Cultivation myself.
Time kept passing.
No matter how much time passes, Kim Young-hoon maintains his odd observer's behavior around me patiently.
'I feel like I'm going crazy.'
He showed no thoughts, didn't teach, didn't offer advice, or even talk to me.
He just looked at me with transparent eyes.
As if he was certain that one day I would definitely reach the same realm as him, full of significant anticipation.
What year is it?
How many times has it been?
'I failed again.'
I kept observing and re-observing the changes in the Five Elements through repeated failures.
As a result, I understand more than 70% of the changes.
Yet, I still haven't reached the Qi Building stage.
If I can grasp the remaining 30% of the changes, I will probably be able to ascend to the Qi Building stage.
But time is really running out.
'Is it one month, two, three months left?'
My life is nearing its end.
With heavy eyes, I look up at the sky.
Neither martial arts nor cultivation can take me beyond.
I am no different from dust.
Yet, Kim Young-Hoon, like a speck of dust, still looks at me from afar with eyes full of expectation.
Thud, thud...
I approach Kim Young-Hoon and speak.
"...As I said before, my life is slowly coming to an end. Being a cultivator, I am well aware of my own lifespan."
"..."
"Why haven't you spoken to me since you entered Entering Heavens Beyond the Path? By now, you must realize I lack talent, so can't you at least offer some guidance?"
He just gives a faint, bitter smile.
"...Fine. I'm about to die. You won't help or advise me. I just came to say goodbye."
If I fail to enter the Qi Building stage this time, I will truly die.
"I really don't understand why you, Kim Hyung, are practicing this silent cultivation. Frankly, I'm baffled and frustrated as to why you suddenly stopped talking after reaching Entering Heavens Beyond the Path.
But... you're undoubtedly a great master who has pioneered a new realm. So, I will respect you. Thank you for showing me a new realm."
I bow to Kim Young-Hoon and slowly head towards a spot on Shattered Heaven Peak.
Receiving Seo Eun-hyun's farewell, Kim Young-Hoon watches his fading figure in the distance and sighs softly.
"...Why can't you understand, Eun-hyun."
Maybe it's a matter of perspective.
Kim Young-Hoon can see it.
"You're already complete. Beyond just forging a weapon, you're holding it in your hand, ready to swing. So, why aren't you swinging it?"
When he awoke after reaching Entering Heavens Beyond the Path and saw Seo Eun-hyun, he was too shocked to speak.
The fact that 'such a thing' could be seen in the realm of Entering Heavens Beyond the Path was truly surprising.
But Seo Eun-hyun's 'that thing' is already complete.
Even more towering and solid than Kim Young-Hoon had imagined.
Just a swing away from being used.
After seeing it, Kim Young-Hoon constantly spoke to 'that thing' in Seo Eun-hyun's subconscious, stimulating and guiding it.
He didn't provide teachings through voice or spars.
He feared that such instructions would only obscure the enlightenment.
But now, Seo Eun-hyun's death is drawing near.
'Should I speak to him now?'
You're complete.
Just swing, and it will work.
Can he awaken even now if I tell him directly?
Kim Young-Hoon watches Seo Eun-hyun practicing cultivation from afar.
Suddenly, he sees a reflection of himself in Seo Eun-hyun's 'that thing.'
"...Enough."
Kim Young-Hoon decides to trust his intuition.
He would continue as he had been, constantly stimulating his subconscious.
"Let's trust the guy."
No, he has no choice but to trust.
Anyone who saw 'that thing' would have no choice but to believe.
"If he really struggles, I'll just show him once."
Kim Young-Hoon decides to trust his feelings and what he had seen in Seo Eun-hyun's inner world.
Do you know the feeling of not seeing a sprout grow no matter how much fertilizer you give?
Repeatedly giving the soil the fertilizer of failure, yet the sprout of success refuses to emerge.
Kuwoong, kuwoong, kuwoong!
I keep challenging Qi Building.
Stars shatter, the Five Elements adjust, and I fail again.
Hoo...
What was once a recovery of twenty breaths has now reduced to five.
Almost perfect.
But it feels impossible to reach the end, like trying to find the limit of an irrational number.
No matter how much I adjust, it feels impossible to reach the end.
'What exactly should I do?'
No matter what I do, the end never seems to be in sight.
Kuwoong!
Once again, the Spiritual Energy Star explodes.
'Why does it explode every time?'
Honestly, after mastering the Five Surpassing Paths to Cultivation and adjusting the ratios to the extreme, shouldn't that have been enough?
What more could it possibly want from here?
'What exactly...!'
Frustration surges within me, and it feels like my blood will burst from my veins.
"What more do you want from me.."
Just then, it happens.
"...Hm?"
My eyes twitch and look towards the distance.
"...That's."
Kim Young-Hoon stood up and started performing a sword dance.
Yes.
It's a sword dance.
It's the Severing Mountain Swordsmanship.
From the first to the twenty-fourth move, his sword techniques sweep through the air, and after completing all the moves, Kim Young-Hoon sheaths his saber and sits down.
That is the end.
'Was he trying to tell me something?'
What could he possibly mean?
Especially since I'm pondering over cultivation, not martial arts.
However, I can't shake off the image of Kim Young-Hoon performing Severing Mountain Swordsmanship from my mind.
'Why did he show me Severing Mountain Swordsmanship?'
If he wants to enlighten me, wouldn't it be better to show me Surpassing Radiant Saber, the pinnacle of his achievement in Entering Heavens Beyond the Path, to stimulate my upper dantian?
'No, a lowly person trying to understand the intentions of a master... Then, there must be some reason he showed me Severing Mountain Swordsmanship...'
Strangely, Kim Young-Hoon's swordsmanship lingers in my mind for a long time.
After some contemplation, I realize the reason.
"Aha..."
What he performed wasn't just Severing Mountain Swordsmanship.
It was 'my' Severing Mountain Swordsmanship.
He had mimicked my usual stance, gestures, habits, direction of intent, and pacing of energy - 'my' Severing Mountain Swordsmanship.
That's why I'm deeply impressed by seeing my own swordsmanship through Kim Young-Hoon.
'Why did he show me my Severing Mountain Swordsmanship?'
I think about the problems in my swordsmanship and recall what Kim Young-Hoon had shown.
"There's... no problem?"
Even though I'm a rotten dullard, I'm a master who reached the extreme of Ultimate Pinnacle.
The Severing Mountain Swordsmanship Kim Young-Hoon showed, without a joke, had no flaws whatsoever. It was perfect and stable in every flow.
'Is there some hidden problem that I'm unaware of?'
That might be the case.
Seen through the eyes of a genius like Kim Young-Hoon, who reached BEntering Heavens Beyond the Path, he might see more than I can.
Let's think carefully.
There must be a reason he showed me that...
...
"...There's none."
There's no problem.
And then, in the midst of my contemplation, I understand Kim Young-Hoon's intentions.
'He was showing me that there's no problem with me...?'
To encourage me?
"...I'm perfect?"
I shake my head.
That can't be. He's a master far beyond me, an incomparable martial arts prodigy.
There's no way my flaws aren't be visible to him.
But.
'If Kim Young-Hoon, a master much higher than me, sees no problem, then maybe there really is no problem?'
Perhaps my martial arts are already complete?
Zing-
Completion.
Somehow, with that thought, something seems to resonate in my heart.
This feeling is similar to when I heard Kim Young-Hoon's explanation that the realms of Entering Heavens Beyond the Path vary depending on a person's life.
Something touches my heart.
Zing-
Something is knocking on my heart.
I ponder the nature of this feeling.
I remember this tingling sensation.
When observing the colors of my disciples' intents, when studying with my master and affirming his heart, when I saw Kim Young-Hoon reaching Entering Heavens Beyond the Path.
'This feeling is...'
It's the feeling of life being closely experienced.
"Aah!"
Indeed.
The thing knocking inside my chest is none other than 'myself.'
"Aah...!"
Suddenly, I feel tears streaming down.
Why did my heart respond to the words 'completion' and 'life.'
Perhaps, it's because all my past lives are complete in themselves.
Just then, I am finally able to hear a certain voice, felt as a tremor in my heart.
I look at Kim Young-Hoon, who is watching me from afar.
He isn't silent.
He has been speaking to me all along.
"Aah..."
I feel anger.
I feel injustice.
How coul I be so foolish?
Having learned the languages of various countries and the language of the demon race, what good is it if I cannot understand the language of the heart?
Kim Young-Hoon has been unceasingly speaking to me, stimulating my subconscious.
Telling me I am already complete.
That I only need to wield it.
"...But, I lack talent."
I clench my teeth and with tears flowing.
"Talent?"
Kim Young-Hoon sat at the very peak of Shattered Heaven Peak, looking at Seo Eun-Hyun on the opposite peak, shedding tears.
Smirking slightly, he muses.
"What does talent matter at this point?
Even if I am heavenly-sent talent, and you are a talent abandoned by the heavens, it's not about who has or doesn't have talent.
It's about those who have found the meaning of life and those who are searching. I found mine. What about yours? You have something I don't. You surely know your life better than anyone."
From heart to heart, influenced by the power of Entering Heavens Beyond the Path, Kim Young-Hoon's Will is conveyed.
Thump!
Kim Young-Hoon's Will reaches me.
Hearing his words, I feel a sudden clarity.
That is exactly what I had thought when I saw him before.
The past Kim Young-Hoons, who despaired among the cultivators, flash before my eyes.
Blessed or forsaken by the heavens. We resemble each other as we cry out beneath fate.
If we are similar under fate.
If we have the will to resist fate, aren't we alike in that too?
While listening to Kim Young-hoon's heart, I look into my heart, facing what I have long ignored.
"Did I unknowingly despair?"
The ratio of the Five Surpassing Paths to Cultivation isn't the issue.
Such things, once adjusted to a certain extent, can always be resolved.
I am more than qualified to challenge the Qi Building stage.
But I haven't, perhaps fearing that my lack of talent means no matter how much my lifespan extends, nothing will change.
Escaping the attraction of fate is not just about strength, but also about will.
Perhaps, I have been tamed by the attraction of my fate.
"Thank you, Young-hoon Hyung-nim."
Receiving his heart, I shed my hesitation.
'So it is.'
When the inner demon visited last time, I drove it away, saying it's fortunate that martial arts are an important part of my life that I cherish.
But the frustration I felt wasn't resolved.
Only now do I understand the reason.
It's not about cherishing them.
I have always been cherishing them..
It's not about doing my best.
I have been living my whole life doing my best.
Whether talented or not, I have strived and cherished all my efforts.
The accumulated depression throughout my lives burst out, turning into a heart demon, making me worry about talent.
'Whether a dullard or a genius, that's not what's important.'
What matters is how much we cherish life and believe in our own.
Ku-gu-gu-gu!
All the shadows in my heart wash away swiftly.
Cleansing all hesitations, I regain my focus and once again challenge the Qi Building stage.
I have been foolishly standing still under the pretense of adjusting ratios.
"Ratios, what nonsense."
Why should I adjust to the method?
The method should adjust to me.
Five spiritual clouds swirl in my dantian.
The slightly protruding parts among them,
I cut them off without hesitation with my Sword Gang and expell them from my body.
Hoo...
Although my spiritual power decreases, the five elements synergize and are forcibly balanced by the cutting of Sword Gang, fully recovering.
The ratio of the Five Elements becomes perfectly equal.
At the same time, I feel as if the Five Surpassing Paths to Cultivation completely merge, a strange sensation.
Ku-gu-gu-gu!
Kuwoong!
I challenged Qi Building.
The completely merged five-colored spiritual energy forms a Spiritual Energy Star.
It shattered soon after but reforms in less than half a breath.
Kuwoong, kuwoong, kuwoong!
I concentrate day and night, losing track of time.
And then, I feel a pain in my heart.
"Again?"
My lifespan is ending.
If only I have a little more time, Qi Building is within reach...
"Take my life if you dare."
Looking at the heavens, I declare defiantly.
"Let's see whether you bring down divine punishment first, or I reach Qi Building!"
The perfectly integrated five spiritual energy swirls, creating countless changes within.
These changes forcefully subdue the fluctuations in the Spiritual Energy Star.
Qi Building is within reach.
Thump, thump...!
Beating my heart with Gang Qi, I focus even more.
I am no different from dust.
But do you know?
Stars are formed from clouds of dust.
Dust gathers and forms the cradle of stars, the nebula.
The five elements of spiritual energy shine, and the star, shattering several times within the cloud, re-emerge.
'Here I go!'
Is it due to my intense focus?
Before I know it, the starry night has passed, and dawn is breaking.
Soon after, dark clouds cover the sky.
Will the heavenly lightning strike, or will I reach Qi Building?
A critical situation!
Roar, roar...
Blue streaks flash between the clouds, and the sky brims with the power of lightning.
Thump, thump, thump...
"Heavens above..."
Thump, thump!
"I will break free from fate!"
Flash!
The sky turns blue.
In the next moment.
From afar, I can hear Kim Young-hoon's heart reaching out to me.
As if he is speaking right in front of me.
"Eun-hyun, swing. It's already in your hand."
'Ah.'
Only at the edge of life and death did I understand his words.
Due to his longing and desire to return to his family, Kim Young-hoon created his Surpassing Radiant Saber that transcends space and light.
That is the meaning of his life.
Then, what's the meaning of mine?
'I wanted to break free from fate.'
How many times have I struggled miserably under fate?
Like Kim Young-hoon, who flies like a bird in the sky, I wanted to fly beyond and escape fate, seeking freedom.
Kim Young-hoon's longing for home melded into his martial arts, achieving a speed that transcends even space.
I meld my desire to escape fate into my martial arts, endlessly liberating my techniques.
In an instant.
I find the optimized form of my consciousness.
A sword.
The sword, longing to escape fate, transcends its form, becoming formless, dispersing into transparent consciousness.
Shuaaak!
Suddenly, the Gang Spheres that leave my body merge with the consciousness, materializing it.
Kwarurung!
A bolt of blue lightning falls towards me, and I precisely locate its falling point with my Lightning Predicting Eye.
Holding the colorless void in front of me, I swing towards the heavens.
"Entering Heavens Beyond the Path."
The sword of formlessness cuts through the heavenly lightning and splits the thick clouds beyond.
"Formless Sword!"
The sky splits vertically, and light of dawn pours through the gap.
Ku-gung, kku-gung, kku-gu-gu-gung!
They say the dantian is the field of the heart (mind, emotion).
From the field of my heart, where I have rid myself of all hesitations and nourished the soil with fertilizers, sprouts start to emerge.
It has been a long journey.
But finally,
I have arrived!